Live Without Fear

I want to take a leap and not over analyze and regret my every single move. I Dont want to look to the future with fearful eyes.

I want to be free from fear, and take each step without being paranoid of the next.

I dont want to fear death either, I cant be fearing the inevitable!

perhaps i just need to be more sure of what im capable of.

i am not living life from a place of fear, but sometimes i am fearful. there is an important distinction.

I don’t know. it seems like most of my young life has been controlled by fear in some way. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of losing something good, fear of other people’s judgements of me, even fear of getting sick or hurt. I think i’ve wasted alot of time and energy. worrying and not hoping, fearing and not living. I want to be free forever, overcome my fears and be able to face obstacles with hope instead of intimidation or worry, so I can grow. I hope that it could be possible to overcome fear almost completely in this life (at least over most things) so we can live the fullest. I hope its possible to fully accept the fact that everything will always be ok, even in the toughest of times, and the strength to overcome anything. I want to be free of fear!!!!

i fear death, in part because

1) i still have to do a lot of things

2) my parents and my siblings love me. i must always be there – alive and well – for them

perhaps one day will come when i will not fear death anymore

I once had no fears
none at all
and then when
I had some

to my surprise
I grew to like both
scared or brave
without them

the thrill of fear
thought I’d never admit it
the thrill of fear
now greatly enjoyed with courage

when I once was
untouchable
innocence roared
still amazes

when I once was
innocent
it’s still here
but in different places

neurosis
only
attaches
itself to
fertile
ground
where it can flourish

fear is a powerful drug
overcome it and
you think that you can do
anything!

should I
save myself
for later
or generously give?

fear of
losing
energy
is draining

it locks up your chest
shuts down the heart
miserly
and stingy
let’s open up : share!

-bjork

So afraid, all the time, but I don’t reach for the bottle, or the bullet, or act out. When in fear, do something!

Love God, Love each other, simple but true

so im not really sure exactly how to start. i just know that i want to stop being afraid of life. I dont want to fear the universe.
i dont want to do things or not do things because i am scared of what other people may think/say/do/whatever.
i dont want to be scared to be myself.

id like to start living my life from a place of complete love. but im not sure thats gonna happen. haha.

Being always fearful, I am trying to reverse that trend.
Apparently, I have been fearful for so long, that I forgot completely as to how it feels not to be fearful, but yet, I knew that I should change.
Just by chance, I had some serious upper back, shoulder, and neck pain and decided to take some pills (Vicodin) that my daughter was prescribed to kill the pain of child birth (and was also prescribed to my wife for root canal pain).
This in turn (as well as killing the pain) put me in a state of pure Euphoria!
Completely aware of my surroundings and thinking, I noticed that I felt totally free of all fear.
I thought to myself “This is very interesting. So, this is how it feels to be fear free. Now, I know that nothing external has changed in my life (discounting the pill) so, something in my mind had change (probably some sort of chemical change to the brain due to the pill)”
As a person who does not like taking pills or any sort of medicine, I do not advocate the partaking of drugs to solve a problem. It just becomes another crutch in one’s life.
But, it really got me thinking and I believe that one can achieve the same effect without the use of drugs.
I also realized that we often wait or try to change something external in our lives where instead the first thing we should change is our thinking patterns.
Over the past year as I have been working on this goal. I get SO close…near a nirvana state, but, curiously, I pull myself back, at the last second, just before I can reach that state of mind…free of fear.
My next step now it to find out why I pull myself back. Although I’m not sure, but I think I might be afraid that once I reach that natural euphoria state (i.e. fear free) I will have realize that I wasted so much of my life by being fearful. Maybe I’m afraid that I will not be able handle that truth. It’s that taking of the final step, that final commitment which I know will completely change my life. I will have stepped from total darkness to total light.