Live in gratitude & be happy even if the rest of the things on this list never happen

But I’m grateful that my partner’s sex drive is higher than mine, and I’m grateful that we seem to have come to place that’s comfortable and satisfying for both of us. I hear so many couples struggling with frequency: The partner with a lower sex drive feeling burdened by his/her partner’s desire; The partner with the higher sex drive feeling hurt, shut out, undesirable, angry or resentful; The partner with the lower sex drive feeling blamed, or pressured to do more than they want to do.

Perhaps the nonmonogamy is part of what takes the pressure off in our relationship. My partner has the freedom to seek additional partners if he wishes. He hasn’t often availed himself of that privilege, but knowing he could at any time probably puts a little more of the responsibility on him (instead of making it easy for him to blame me or feel resentful towards me if at any moment he’s feeling unsatisfied). But still, I love him and I want him to be happy and relaxed and satisfied. So I initiate sex whenever the thought crosses my mind that I might sorta want some, and he almost always says yes. He initiates too, and sometimes I say no. Either way, I get more sex than I would if it were just up to me, and it’s always fun. (So that’s why I’m grateful his drive is higher than mine.) I’m pretty much always glad I did it. I feel good. But I also don’t feel tense or pressured when he initiates and I say no.

There is such a sense of gentleness and ease between us about this. I’m very, very grateful for that.

Incredible! Delectable! Mouthwatering! I’m so lucky to have access to healthy food, to be able to afford to eat out occasionally, to have a convenient natural foods coop where I can easily obtain luscious organic produce, to know lots of people who love cooking for friends, and to have access to the kinds of food that make me feel good (despite being something of a special-needs eater, with my vegan diet and wheat gluten sensitivity).

Just when I was starting to worry a teensy bit about how this pregnancy, and the ensuing life-form, might negatively impact my sex life… all kinds of wonderful sexiness came my way this weekend. From the erotic/fetish photo shoot on Saturday afternoon, to the Naked Poetry/Prose Reading on Saturday night, to the hot threeway with an acquaintance who is visiting from out of town on Sunday. It was all very fun. I feel so grateful that I have somehow set up my life in such a way that opportunities like these come my way without much effort on my part.

My sweetie often complains, at the end of the weekend, that we had too much going on and not enough time to really relax. But last night? He said, “I’m so glad we finally had a really RELAXING weekend!”

Huh. It seems like there were just as many items on the schedule as usual. I guess now I know what he means when he says he needs more time to “relax.”

_{Pictured above: my sweetie “relaxing” at our photo shoot.}

... and both of them I have been able to talk my way out of! Yay!

There’s nothing worse than getting hit when you’re down financially. And there’s something a little perverse about how large those fees are. Perhaps I should do some act of gratitude, pay it forward. I wish there was a way to, say, cover that check that would have bounced for some other poor sap.

Today I’m grateful for a friend at work who shares about the struggles and challenges in her relationship in a really frank, humble and open-hearted way. I always see myself in her and, although she feels like she’s leaning on me, I’m sure I get just as much out of our talks as she does.

I’m grateful for my boss (who sometimes bugs me with her loud brashness), because of how certain I feel that she’s got my back. It’s been a tough week at work and I’m so grateful to know there is someone on my side, fiercely and definitively.

I usually use this goal to post about how grateful I am for what I already have, to balance out my longing for the other goals on my list.

But my dance class has recently taught me that small things can bring me joy and make my life better in the here and now. I want to be sure to make time and space for those things instead of always working and striving and looking towards some golden idyllic future.

I felt a little nauseated, a little tired, a little achy… and all I thought was, “bring it on!” I’m sure my pregnancy will bring all kinds of weird new sensations and indignities, and I will be grateful for every one if means that my pregnancy is progressing normally.

ummm i am not happy today. I think i am grateful for the half hour nap im going to have now!

-Have a nice cup of warm tea.
- Have something to do this week and the next and the next and the week after that, even if it is not what I want to do…
-Am tired and ready for bed. Sleep is near and sounds good right now.
I Have a wonderful family and great little sister who let me style her for her friends fancy dress party it was a hit! (the hair and makeup styling).
-Saw a goregous guy today. Who has no idea I think he is gorgeous. Or anything at all for that matter.
-Get to see him again on Sunday! Not personally or romantically, but still…
-I am finally feeling something for someone again. Even if it’s just pure gorgeousness. Not obsessed as I sound??
It was beautifully hot today no need for jumpers and jackets!

Thanks, baby!