Live in gratitude & be happy even if the rest of the things on this list never happen

Today I’m grateful for…

working the phones
I was kind of mad at first: for some reason my manager insisted that I not work the floor today. Anyway, it’s absolute nuts on the sales floor and the phones are pretty quiet, so I’m glad to sit in the back and work the phones. I even had someone call in who remembered who I was and was glad to talk to me. I get to write my gratitude journal entry for the day and chill a bit. :-)

Free coffee and a good book from the library
I go downstairs from the courthouse to the little Southlake library. It is a nice little place. Southlake is such a rich town that they can afford a very nice library. I paid for a card, but I get to check out new books. They even give you free coffee!

a good night’s sleep
I took my brown pill last night. It makes me sleep like a baby. I even got up on time even though I slept through all of my alarms. I didn’t sleep well the night before. It makes a big difference to get a good night’s rest. I’m grateful.

friendship
I’m not particularly outgoing. I score medium-high on extraversion and medium-high on agreeableness, so finding and maintaining friends has always been challenging. I’m glad for the friendships that I’ve managed to forge.

for my personality
I like my openness to experience most of all. It’s my defining trait. I love to think about complex things, to learn about anything, to visit museums and art galleries, to read books and watch movies, to listen to NPR

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Nietzsche’s dictum might be useful for you to keep in mind right now, Leo: “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.” Since I’m very sure that the turbulent waters through which you’re navigating will not kill you, I’m looking forward to all the ways this journey will upgrade your confidence and enhance your power. But there’s more to be gained, beyond what Nietzsche formulated. It’s also true that if it doesn’t kill you (which it won’t), it will make you wilder and kinder and smarter and more beautiful.

Thanks, Rob Breszny!

My three closest friends have really been there for me during this little rollercoaster of uncertainty about my pregnancy. I am so, so grateful to have such great friends in my life.

In addition to my pregnancy ending, here have been some other recent health crises in my circle of loved ones. This is actually helping me keep everything in perspective: to see that life is fragile and precious and we should treasure every second of the time we have together.

It’s easier to let go of the idea of a baby coming in February that I’ve only been imagining for 10 days, for example, than it would be to lose your 12-year-old to a mysterious unexplained brain hemorrhage. Thankfully that family did not lose their daughter; she came home from the hospital yesterday and we went to visit her and gawk at her shaved head covered with gnarly stitches. I am SOO glad she’s still in my life, and for all my loved ones for that matter! Another loved one, a baby, would have been the icing on the cake… and hopefully I can still have that at some point in the future. But I am really very blessed either way.

(Look at this goal, and what it actually says: to live in gratitude and be happy… even if I never have a baby. I know I could do it if that’s the way things worked out.)

But I did just win my office’s intercom bingo. Now I get the afternoon off next Thursday and a ticket to see the MN Twins play the Yankees. I’m not a huge baseball fan, but it will be fun for a change of pace.

Today I’m grateful for…

waking up early
I slept in yesterday, so I’m happy to be up early enough today to do my ‘happy hour’ and go to the library.

Good stuff at the library
Aretha Franklin, Bob Dylan Blonde on Blonde, Jeff Buckley, Neil Young, and the Roots. I love the library’s request system. I can get stuff I really want without traveling to other branches.

only a dream
I had a yelling argument last night. It was only a dream. I’m glad.

Today I’m grateful for…

getting my CDs in the mail
Amazon.com is a brilliant website. I bought discs by War, Parliament, and Bootsy Collins. Joy!

Coming home to a clean room
I guess I was busy on my days off. The floor is vacuumed, the bed is made. Life is good.

my Bose headphones
Creedence Clearwater Revival sounds really good though these things. They are good enough that I’m re-ripping all my low bitrate CDs at a higher bitrate. I bought them when I got my tax return a few months ago.

money for lunch
I don’t get paid until tonight, but I found $12.00 bucks in my old wallet. Plus I have a free sandwich card from WhichWich.

breakfast
I bought cereal and soy milk last week, but I haven’t eaten much of it so far. I think I’ll make coffee too.

finding my art pouch
I have a great mechanical pencil, a bunch of Prismacolor markers and a bunch of other art supplies. I hadn’t thought to look for my pouch until I was flipping through an old journal yesterday. I’m excited about using them today.

Today I’m grateful for…

my hair
Sure, occasionally the ends will break off because my dreds are too thin. Sure, I have to use special shampoo or else I get dandruff. But, I love my hair. It’s fun, it’s quirky, it’s cool. I like how I’ve added wire to some of it and how the sun has turned much of it a dark red. It’s very easy to maintain and I get compliments all the time. I am grateful for my hair.

1000 songs
I’ve added 995 songs to my iTunes collection since the end of April. From Alice Coltrane to Zero 7. A great collection of funk and soul music, including 93 James Brown songs, Curtis Mayfield’s first 3 solo albums, Songs in the Key of Life and Talking Book by Stevie Wonder, Micheal Jackson’s Off the Wall, some great jazz funk, and a collection of rare and unreleased Aretha Franklin recordings. I’m grateful for the libraries that are so close to my house: the Fort Worth Public library right down the street, and the UNT library twenty miles away. I’m grateful for Amazon.com. I’m grateful for my curiosity and love of learning that make discovering new music so enjoyable for me.

having an energetic day yesterday
I’ve been off of work for a few days. Yesterday was an especially good day…I spent it cleaning, exercising, reading, and hanging out with Kim. I think this “Happy Hour” business is really working. I had so much energy and positive feeling compared to the previous few days.

Today I am grateful for…

nice customers

pretty photos I took long ago

an hour lunch break

free bottles of water

hot summer days

Today I am grateful for…

Wikipedia
I go to wikipedia at least five times a day to look up random facts. I sat in Taco Diner with Kim and learned why cold drinks give you a headache. I wandered through a bar and found out that Dire Straits is NOT a country band, regardless of what a cute brunette claims. I looked up the Radiohead discography, and an article on quasars during the same lunch break. Wikipedia has got to be one of the coolest uses of the internet invented yet: come on folks, a collaborative encyclopedia that is as accurate as Brittanica, with ten times the articles?

my lecture on mental illness and art
Sarah Harder is back in town, and she and I struck up a conversation about mania and art. I got to tell yet another person about Kay Redfield Jamison’s awesome books, and the brilliance of Peter Kramer. I used the word “hypomania” at least five times last night. I’m grateful to have friends who appreciate my intellectual bent.

air conditioning
I keep whining about my folks turning the air down. It struck me today that I ought to be grateful for our central AC. Growing up, we didn’t have central AC, so Texas summers where not fun. Plus, we’re finally getting our remodel at work and they are putting in a giant air conditioner. It makes life in Texas comfortable. AC shouldn’t be taken for granted.