The more I learn about myself, the more I realise that I truly don’t fit in anywhere, not in a group anyway.
Sometimes I think I do, but then I realise that there is always an aspect of my personality Im hiding, or an interest, or a feeling… maybe thats down to me more than them, but I find it hard.
I had a thought earlier, of the times someone has called me a nickname- brains, nutter or trouble but in an endearing way and its because Ive shown them a side of me thats normally hidden… the goofy or silly or weird. Its so nice to be with people with whom i can truly be myself… 10 months ago
...and I think Im learning to accept that.
I had to pop into uni and when I looked around I realised that I didnt fit into any of the groups of students I saw around me. I put some of it down to the fact that I am older than them and some of it down to the fact that I am slightly awkward and therefore probably havent made as much effort to integrate myself as I probably should have.
I just find myself to be so different to everyone.
Dont get me wrong I have a set of friends at uni (they just happened to all be absent), and am really happy with those Ive established friendships with but next year a majority of them will no longer be in my classes so it will be interesting to see how it all plays out.
There are some people that do the whole independent thing without coming across as aloof loners. Ive no idea how they do it… 12 months ago