learn to love myself more

other people’s opinion about me is none of business… should worry less about what they say about me…

I am deeply saddened and extremely motivated. It has come to my attention that I have gotten lazy and I lack discipline. There are things I want to change but I get frustrated and just take the easy way out. I really want/need this change, my mind, body and spirit need for this to change. One change at a time…so until February 8th, I plan to wake when my body wakes me, instead of hitting the snooze. I will begin and prepare for the day by doing at least 5 Sun salutations- so that is 3 months of a new beginning each day. After that…I hope to incorporate another change.
Wish me luck!

Don’t compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is about

It’s okay to love & care myself as much as I do for others…

I went to church yesterday, feeling like my spirit needed to be fed and although the sermon got a little to Evangelistic for me, there was a clear message that I got…
Its over. All the drama, the negative energy, its over. I have the courage to walk away, and know that I am ok.

I have the love of God, I have a heavenly father who loves me no matter what. Even when I forget to thank him, when I’m sad, happy or mad…he loves me. It is ok, to love myself just as much as God does and if Rah stays in my life or moves on…I will be just fine, because I am loved…and I know it.

I feel off balance and chaotic…I am too connected and am in need of some “me” time. I think I am going to go to a museum or 2 this weekend and start a new journal.

I am aware that it is not “him” that I like per se, it is how he makes me feel, that keeps me coming back. It is like a drug, this high I get when he holds me or kisses me and the memories keep a smile on my face. This, I am aware is a false sense, but it tides me over until…Is it wrong to want to have this feeling…I don’t have “feelings” for him, as in “I want you” but he has a way of drawing you in that is DANGEROUS. In part of loving myself, I have to be honest with myself and know that -yes I am somewhat using him, but I am aware that he is also using me, I hold the power and that is exhilarating…I control where this goes…and right now this is working for me.

be my own lover.

i made the mistake of loving my husband unconditionally and being his counselor/therapist/motivator/best friend/cook/clown/ while he soaks it up but selfishly distance himself from nurturing me.

i forgot to love myself and be my own motivator/best friend/clown/etc.

by loving myself more, i will be complete and can love without the fear of being hurt.

so i started to enter this as “learn to love myself” then saw someone elses goal of “learn to love myself MORE”. I think this distinction is huge. its not that i hate myself, i am just not very good to myself, i dont love myself and it is evident through my actions. Why is it we are so good at being objective and helpful with others but fall to pieces when looking at ourselves. Over the last year i have had a roller coaster of a time and need to stop and take control. I am a beautiful, strong, thoughtful, caring, smart wonderful woman… so why cant i see that and why do i not treat myself with the same respect I give others?

i am me.
i’m an amazingly sweet person, im unique, speak well, sing well, and am good with people. there are plenty of people who would love to be in my place so why should i waste even a second of my time wanting to be someone else ?. I am too good to waste time wanting that silly boy to notice me because some day…maybe after a long time..but all the same..someday…he’s going to see what he missed. someday he’s going to regret his choice of letting me pass by.
why in the world should i start loving myself less because of that. i need to love myself and i dont need anyone’s help for that.
i am a mcDonalds loving, tree~climbing, childish, LOVELY person. and before i look for love in anybody else for me..i need to love myself.
i am me.
and it’s high time i come to terms with that fact.