be excellent at my job

honestly, I’m not doing well at this. I slack off. Oh lord how I slack off.

I truly feel like my company is encouraging this. This place is so awkwardly run, I just don’t know what to do. Or who to ask. Or anything.

We have a big company meeting in 2 weeks and I’ll finally meet the people I report to and have issues with and everyone else. If given 1/2 the opportunity, I plan to raise hell. A part of me is wondering if I’m going to make enemies, or even get myself fired. But that’s got to be better than feeling useless and bored and then getting reprimanded for not being psychic.

Meeting with chiefy and ace colleague Z this morning.

Chiefy says: there’s a whizzy research conference on Thursday which Lord Extremely Posh and I are attending. Are you going to come with us? I already know ace colleague Z is going, but then grant-giving is her area. Spreadsheets are mine. The conference sounds whizzy but it’s not particularly relevant to me. I explain to chiefy that with henchperson H on her hols this week, I’m the only person who can train new person P, so it’s difficult to go gallivanting. Feel guilty and negative saying this. Later, the meeting ends, and ace colleague Z leaves but chiefy asks me to stay behind. Argh. Expecting a lecture about negative attitude…

However, chiefy tells me about our other colleague PB who used to be finance director at a big NHS trust. Apparently one of the secrets of his success was that he wasn’t always looking up, eyeing up the chief exec’s job etc.etc., but looking down, at his staff, getting to know them and understand what they do. He’s also a lovely, energetic bloke brimming with enthusiasm, who lifts the whole office when he’s here bouncing around – I don’t think I’m likely to ever get such a radical personality transplant ;)

Anyway, I was very relieved that chiefy was actually fine about me not going on the conference. And on top of that, he’s told me to take PB out for lunch and pick up some tips from him. Hurrah!

was apparently “ecstatic” at hearing we’d offered her the job, but needs to discuss it with her bf! Am slightly disconcerted by that.

The recruitment guy says it’s 99.9% in the bag but we won’t know for sure until Monday. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens…

anxious about things at work and so I thought it would be helpful for me to make a list of the things I do like about my job as reminder why I’m here.

• I get a lot of social interaction. Anyone who thinks a beancounter just sits in front of her spreadsheets all day never communicating has it all wrong – round here it’s nonstop phone calls, emails, meetings, people coming to drop things off, etc. etc.
• I get to help people, and they are usually appreciative of my efforts (even if I have been useless)
• my colleagues are fun to be with, well, with a couple of exceptions
• the unpredictability: every day brings random communications of one sort or another and I never know in advance what will happen
• you never know what will come in the post – could be a cheque for £100k! I have long advocated a percentage commission of takings for those of us who volunteer to open the post, as a way of incentivising the workforce, but the powers that be have sadly not been persuaded ;)
• the fact that I work for an organisation which does good things
• the satisfaction when I finish a set of accounts, or get to the bottom of an enquiry about something, or solve someone’s problem – every day I go home with a sense of achievement
• the peculiar rhythm of the week – Mondays are always manic, Fridays are quiet and the days in the middle vary depending on what’s happening
• so far… and this is where I need to watch out… it doesn’t intrude too much on my weekends and evenings. As we go through the transition period between now and probably June or July, things will be quite tricky, but hopefully I’ll come out at the end of it with a renewed sense of purpose and engagement.

I re-read the Mind Gym book about time, and there was something in it that struck me.

Apparently there was a study where computer experts were presented with two computer programs which did the same thing and were for all intents and purposes identical.

They were told that program A had taken much longer to write than program B. They were then asked which program they preferred. Almost all of them went for program A, but when asked why, were able to offer no reason.

This story made me think about how one does tend to associate the time spent on something with its quality. But while some things take a set amount of time, other things could be worked on ad infinitum without adding much value. It’s a useful reminder to notice when one is wasting time fiddling with something that is already good enough.

for this goal. Our department is being reorganised and I’m getting bumped up the ladder to de facto deputy treasurer (am not sure if my job title is actually changing) of all the charities we administer. Until now I’ve mainly been left to play in the shallow end with the little charities and the sports and social club, but this job is going to include the Big One, namely the main hospital charity, the one with nearly £100m assets and some very serious big name trustees, particularly Lord Extremely Posh, the chairman.

I always thought the Difficult Person would block my career progress, but she is going part time – I’d like to think this is a voluntary decision – so it looks as though nice colleague Z and I are in line to become the dream team running the show. It’s going to be a big challenge and I spent most of Friday looking at the calendar, working out the deadlines for various things and trying not to be terrified at the prospect.

Above all I must remember this is a fantastic opportunity, a great vote of confidence from the Big Cheeses, and that I’m entirely capable of doing a professional job and dealing calmly and cheerfully with whatever challenges may happen to occur.