Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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Be honest with myself


 

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gottawonderI don't like much in current music.

My husband points out that it’s easy to go back through all the music from other decades and cherry pick out the best stuff, but honestly, there’s very little music being made now that can compare to stuff from the 60’s and 70’s.

Can anything really hold a candle to Lou Reed, David Bowie, Queen, Iggy Pop, or The Kinks? Janis Joplin?

I can only think of two newer artists that are pretty great: Jack White and The Black Keys. They are actual song writers, and they play their own instruments.

Probably I just shouldn’t look to the radio for inspiration.

Funny thing is, I was born in the 70s, so my “coming of age” music should really be the late 80s and 90s. Some of it was pretty great. I liked Nirvana. Foo Fighters. Alanis Morrisette was awesome.

New music I like some of it, but you know, I can’t think of much that matches the rawness and the sincerity of many artists of the 70s. It almost seems like most music since then just keeps recycling what they did. Very little original sound being made now.

I just can’t deal with Katy Perry, Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke, and how country music sounds these days. I like Adele, but I don’t know if she’s really projecting more than a great voice. Is she original?

I suppose it makes me seem like a curmudgeon, but really. There’s no substance to this crap. Almost no one plays any instruments. Half of them couldn’t sing without electrical support. None of the women wear pants. None of it feels like there’s a message, or even some sincere feeling. 2 months ago


shootingspace 3 months ago


♥loverr girrl♥honest

i am not realistic about my goals

i am scared all the time

i have no long term goals for my personal life

i don’t know how to develop fulfilling relationships w/

i feel empty when not around my toxic family

i only know how to relate to toxic people

i constantly change my mind

i make my decisions on emotions and flight or fight instincts 6 months ago


jstefani 7 months ago


LexieZ 9 months ago


EndrinaHow to measure...

So, how do you actually measure this goal? Over the years I have been using 43 Things I have learned the importance of measurable goals. As for this one, well…it’s not really easy to measure. Like, today I was 69% honest with myself, while I was almost 86% yesterday?

I see this goal (for me, at least) as relating to a) a lack of mindfulness in daily life, and b) lacking honest as a…protection strategy. When you are in balance, when you are aware and present, you make the right choices and do the right things for you. When you are not scared, when you know and believe in yourself, you make the right choices and to the right things (once again, for you).
We often know when we are not entirely present in our daily life, when we simply do rather than actively reflect on our actions. Going automatic, the easy way. And we usually know what is good for us, or what is wrong or bad for us, yet we ignore this knowledge.

For me, staying present is not always easy, and I practice. I know that yoga, sewing, running, music, reading and playing with my son is good stuff. And I try to fill my days with those things.
I believe in myself more these days, with all my quirks and brilliant imperfection. I laugh, cry, share and brood with more ease. I know in what directions I like to wander – and which don’t interest me. At 31 I am finally more at ease. And I hope…to continue this windy path.

Go listen to Be yourself by Graham Nash. 13 months ago


Tsill 13 months ago


gottawonderI am a consumer whore.

Yup. Sure am.

In spite of having a lot of values about thrift and so on, I still buy a lot of stuff. Stuff I mostly just want, not need.

It’s tough to tell what I am like on a scale of other North Americans.

I’ve driven the same vehicle for 13 years now. A lot of our furniture is still the hand-me downs and thrift-store finds we’ve used for the last ten years or more. I still repair things, restore things, and so on rather than buy new.

However, we also seem to steadily shop and bring home new things.

I love clothes. I really do. It’s kind of mystifying because I have loved fun clothes for a long time, and barely have anywhere to wear them. I am working on dressing up more when I go to town to shop, but I would love to have some place to go once a week or so where I could really wear nice clothes.

I’ve been spending more on clothes this last year, since we finally have a stable income after some rough years. I hadn’t spent a lot on clothes for two or three years, (mostly thrift stores) so I’ve been going a little bit nuts.

Thing is, it makes me happy to have such pretty things to wear, and to know that if a wedding comes up, or some fancy supper, I have something great to wear. Not some very out of date outfit that barely fits, or looks kind of worn out.

I suppose that makes me kind of materialistic, and I know I am, but having nice things makes me happy.

I know that things aren’t more important than people or animals or health, etc., but things actually do make life more fun if you do it right. 14 months ago


heaviernoon 19 months ago


gottawonderTruth is,

I kind of like not having to work much for a living.

I often feel a lot of shame for not having a power career, or even working more to contribute to our funds. The reality is, I like having free time, doing things I enjoy, and I wish people would quit thinking that it makes me lazy.

If I had a job that meant something to me, that would be a different story. It’s not that I won’t work, it’s that I see no point in taking a shit job if I don’t have to. However, most of the jobs I’m qualified for are menial, degrading, and I would end up with just another shitty boss (as always happens with menial, degrading jobs).

Why, exactly, should I be running out there to sign up?

My husband makes a good living, and though at times it makes me feel kind of dependant and vulnerable, I am often just grateful because it saves me from the grinding, soul-crushing jobs I have had to take in the past.

I honestly do not know what it is about me that seems to keep me in this menial level. I am smart, and capable, but I never seem to do well in jobs. I know that I am likely too smart and too independent for these kinds of jobs, and I usually am unmotivated to grovel at the boss’s feet, which is what they seem to expect. I’m not qualified for much more than that.

Honestly, most of the work world seems like a cruel joke to me, designed to make us hate life, feel degraded, and to sap the joy out of us. It’s mystifying. I would love to change that aspect of the world, so that people could have jobs that enhance their lives, not sap all of their energy, stealing time from real living.

Right now, I do clean for people a couple of days a week, and I am a casual fill-in at a small library (which still has some crap associated with it, but less than most people’s jobs). I really just want to work enough to contribute towards the animals, and keep me in touch with the world.

I am a little lazy, but I do a lot at home. I just do it on my own schedule (I’m a night owl). So, people might think I am shockingly lazy because I don’t get up until noon. What they don’t understand is that I might also be doing laundry at midnight, and washing the floors.

Anyhow, as much as everyone might judge me, and as much as I sometimes suffer from the guilt of not having a “career path”, I often am just happy not to have to deal too much with the work world, and take care of business here at home.

I guess if I was truly farming for a living, or doing something slightly different like boarding people’s horses for money, or running a petting zoo, then it would be a valid “job”. Instead, I am taking care of our acreage, and our animals for pleasure.

If I were being paid to do this for some millionaire who needed a live-in caretaker, all of a sudden that would be a job too. A very valuable job!

As it is, what I do is not called a job. The world is a funny place. 16 months ago


gottawonderJune 23

Truth is, I hate other people’s bullshit.

I hate it when a boss uses their power to dump some shit on you. Of course, everyone says it’s just part of having a job. Is it? Why shouldn’t a boss be fair? I don’t mean I expect it to be wonderful all the time, but FAIR.

I don’t like it when other people power trip in small ways around me. Like when a store manager gives me some crap over returning something, or when someone does things like makes you wait for them when they’re late half an hour, or things like that.

I don’t like it when our neighbours won’t be responsible about their dogs, and keep making lame excuses for why they run loose.

I am willing to be accepting of certain shortcomings in people, but just plain bullshit isn’t one thing I deal with well.

Maybe this is why I don’t have any friends. 16 months ago


gottawonder 16 months ago


FemaleMMAFighters 17 months ago


Alexander 7 years ago


arresherah002.

I need to understand occasionally feeling down is a natural part of life. I’m trying to be thankful for all the good, but I can’t help but feel like nothing has turned out the way I expected it.

Since I’m being honest with myself, I am going to make a statement: I hate my job. 18 months ago


arresherah001.

I think before I start worrying too much about my goals, I need to be honest with myself about a few things. I’m certainly not a bad person, but I have my faults just like everyone else.

I have been back in counseling for a couple of months now, because I was starting to have a breakdown. Some things happened at work, and I just couldn’t keep myself together anymore. I won’t go into detail to protect my privacy, but I feel much better now.

Anyway, one of my biggest problems has been with my father. After a lot of soul searching, I have come to realize I just don’t love him all that much. There’s a small part of me that does, but that’s just because he’s my dad. He took off when I was 15, and he’s just not there for me when I really need him. He was always good at going through the motions of being a parent, but children know when they’re second priority.

I know realize it wasn’t anything I did wrong, and even if I was a better individual, this is just how it is. He’s never going to be an integral part of my life, but I’m always going to deal with the pain of not being wanted. I need to move on. 18 months ago


arresherah 18 months ago


Ana Belle 2 years ago


13Vicky 19 months ago


HoffyStaying true..

””To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson”

How do i do this, in a world that gives you so many options, where people will always have good advice for how they think you should be or act? 20 months ago


EndrinaHonesty

Ow, wow…2013 has been the best so far. I don’t quite know why, but…things are rolling for me. I am in a process of therapy where I feel heard, and I am working with myself – doing healthy and positive things in my daily life. Most notably, I have added yoga, structure and crafts – allowing myself to fail and actually enjoy failure.
I feel liberated, because I see that I can make changes in my own life, small steps at a time. I actually thought that I was incapable of taking control. But I am.
Today is beautiful21 months ago


♥loverr girrl♥being honest with yourself is really powerful

i’m not giving out any advice….but just journal what you want,,,start writing without limits. If you could have anything and it was possible what would it be, etc. just write. Write down 100 things. And the first thing you write is what you really want. Don’t question it. Just do it. That is your heart speaking. 22 months ago


Living In God's Exquisite, Miraculous SufficiencyMy Beau

My beau has been calling me out on so many things, more than me him. I didn´t realize that I wasn´t as honest with myself as I thought I was. Getting better here. 22 months ago


EndrinaBe...honest with myself

Oh, where to start…This is quite a big one, and something I probably will be working on for some time. It’s about changing deeply imbedded patterns of behaviour. And changing them will make some people angry, others disappointed – and me, hopefully, happy and at peace.
We – well, I at least – are socialized into being part of the pack. That often means going along with the flow, being “considerate”, and living our lives within certain narrow and constraining expectations. And, as I am starting to realize, adopting other people’s ideals and dreams. I smile, when I really want to scream. I nod, when I want to…speak my mind. I have opinions, I have my own dreams – yet, I have too often silenced myself when meeting others. Why? I wanted to belong. I wanted to be liked, to be a part of something, to be happy. And yet I struggle. With myself, with the world. With being happy.
I realized the other day, that happiness is a state of mind – and what that actually means. I need to be me, for me. This is my life. My dreams. I want to create, I want to laugh, I want to love, I want to be present.
Being honest with myself is knowing in my heart what I like and dislike, and which dreams are mine to follow.
One day at a time, getting to know myself – and being myself. 23 months ago


HaveToStartSomewhereJust mad at myself

I allowed emotions to get in the way of our holiday yesterday. We did manage to have an okay Thanksgiving but far from the way I really wanted things to be.
I just need to deal with everything, once and for all so that I don’t have these issues popping up. I would kill to come into at least $10,000.00. I would pay back my family for their financial help. Only what they have given since I’ve turned 18 though. I can’t and wont be held responsible for my mothers shortcomings. When I was 18 thought I borrowed quite a bit during a bad time in my life where I was trying to get situated after living on my own since I was 17!! Basically I would pay a share of the 6,000.00 back to each of the respective people it was borrowed from along with a note asking if If this allowed me a place back into the family? If this warranted me a call now and then to just see how we are. Or a return phone call. Or if I call they don’t say they have to go after 4 minutes because someone is beeping in. I don’t feel right giving anyone a “now or never” option when I owe them. As soon as I can pay them back though, I think that one action will set me free. I will know, if it was truly they don’t care or if they are just oblivious to things outside their immediate worlds. As whiny and petty as it may sound I just can’t shake the feeling that these people were who I knew in my childhood, ALL I KNEW! How can they not care now just because I’m no longer a legal obligation of sorts?? But if they don’t care then I can put it behind me and move on.
A big chunk of dissappoint will always lie in myself for not being strong enough to not care anymore. I’m getting there though. 23 months ago


HaveToStartSomewhereThe perfect Holiday just doesn't exist...

and in my case, the no where near good holiday ceases to exist. I’ve wrapped too much up into him and I’ve been horribly let down again.
Depression seems to be the theme this holiday season. Realization that one side of family has flat out rejected me in every way and that the other side has flat out forgotten about us, further supporting the theory that I was everyones obligation coming from an immature mother uncapable of taking care of the mess she made. Once they were no longer obligated I haven’t heard from them since, and they blow off my emails, phone calls, letters. I’ve been making excuses for them but the truth is … it is what it is. I should read the signs and try to move on.
Then there’s the fact that my mother has reemerged, along with her new kids and used every resource we had to help them get situated after she left the man who chased me off many years ago. Well now that they are situated and no longer in need of my help, she has saddled up with yet another jobless, aa member and has chosen to spend the holidays with his family, each and every year since tapping me out of my resources. :(
Dinners burning guess I better stop bitching and get to it! 23 months ago


HaveToStartSomewhereWhew!

Turns out all I needed to do was be honest with myself! I’m already feeling better having “talked/admitted” what was bothering me. I guess not having anyone here who I feel like I can be open and honest with doesn’t help. To be truthful, I’m not completely lonely. I could honestly hang out, go out, call someone up way more than I do. I just have to get over not being accepted by this particular group. I have to find a way to deal with the parties and forced smiles and pleasantries. They literally look pained to speak to me. LOL But that’s on them. I know that while we may not make as much as they do, we are damn good people with big hearts. Admittedly, the lack of money keeps us from “running” with them more often. We just don’t have the extra cash to go out to the bar or hit up every fundraiser. If that means we lose out on invites so be it. I think it’s time to start concentrating on the people who I DO HAVE! How could I forget them in my struggle to be accepted by the “in crowd”! Haha, what a concept, but this does seem to be what it comes down to. Turns out that social heirarchy doesn’t end in highschool BUT who cares! They can be better than me in their own minds.

So after some soul searching, brutal honesty, night of tears, and taking stock of who I truly do have in my life, I realize I can be over this little issue. I may be rejectable to them but to be honest, they are still in a highschool mentality. They turn on each other over silly things, gossip behind each others backs, work together to exclude someone who doesn’t fit their expectations. Why did I even want to be a part of that??

What this did do though was open the door to my feelings of rejection and hurt from childhood. I still need to “fix” that as best as possible. But since I am in a lighter mood tonight I do not wish to dwell on it for the time being. Right now I am going to concentrate on getting my little corner of the world together and showing love to the awesome people I’ve been neglecting. 23 months ago


HaveToStartSomewhereAdmitting...

... the depth of my lonliness and feelings of rejection has sort of helped? I took some time to lay in silence last night. I cried, sort of. I haven’t actually been capable of a good cry in a long time. But there were some tears. So I’m not completely numb yet.
I laid there feeling sorry for myself, then looking around and remembering everything I do have. But then I detested everything around me. I would trade every material thing I have to feel like I belong somewhere, loved and accepted. So that’s what I want. That’s what I need. To have it defined helps but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve only been rejected so far with my efforts. Honestly, it was a stretch trying to get along with my boyfriends, friends wives. They are all at least 10 years older, most already in their 40’s. They have known each other their whole lives, being from the same town and schools. They have a very different mindset, different taste, different opinons, values, everything. I was hiding a lot of my true self to fit in the few times I was around them. I know being myself and expressing my true opinons would be a shock to them. Different generations I guess. But if changing/hiding myself didn’t help why should I keep not being myself???
That leads to another conflict I’ve had with myself the last few years. I feel like I have completely lost myself in this effort to fit into my boyfriends lifestyle or fulfil what everyone expects of me. It’s left me feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and not good enough, not even happy with myself anymore.
Last night a long time friend from the past who I thought for sure didn’t even think about me anymore, left a comment on a silly little post. It was one of those generic post that everyone clicks share becaues they relate to it in some sort of way. The theme was about being “reserved until someone does XX and then you show them crazy”. His comment was “It’s been a while since I have seen you but I can’t imagine you being reserved.” Oh if he only knew what that comment meant to me. Maybe when I get to a better place emotionally I will let him know. He is absolutely right. I never used to be reserved. I was myself. I was colorful. I liked to be seen and I made it a point to be seen. Audacious even? I’ve turned myself into a nuetral carbon copy of the people around me all for the unobtainable acceptance I’ve been longing for. But before trying to fit in here, I was myself, and I was accepted. Maybe the people I’m trying to impress just aren’t worth it after all. Maybe it’s time to stop trying to impress others and start finding pieces of the old me again. I will never fit into the perfect housewife mold I was trying so hard to fulfil. The old me would have been proud of that. Think it’s time to start thinking like her again. 23 months ago


HaveToStartSomewhereToday I feel hurt.

It comes down to that rejection thing again. Some women I have tried to impress, join in with, relate to, etc… talked about their trip to NY together. I put myself out there with the group. Volunteered on different community projects. Acted as a gopher for the latest one, running various errands as well as putting in over 8 hours at the event itself. The result? Every single one of them mentioned in the paper while I didn’t receive even a call to say hey thanks, or can’t wait to work on the next project, etc. I would NEVER do something just to see my name in the paper. I wouldn’t have even thought of it if it hadn’t been for their names being printed in the article. Wonder which of them was responsible for the publicity? :( ... It hurts to know you put yourself out there and in a sense your rejected. They don’t call me to join in, I have to seek them out. I’m wondering now if I just need to give it up. They don’t know me or anything of me but really seem to have no interest in getting to know me. I’m making a fool of myeslf everytime I try. The real reason it matters to me? They are the wives of my significant others BEST FRIENDS. So that means I see them every social function. Every gathering. Every party. I see them and they try their best to not see me. I sit alone or with the guys, or follow after my kids so as to not appear to actually be alone. Worse yet though, was the last party. The one for the first time in 8 years, we weren’t invited to. Now the husband came up to my boyfiend and said, man it most have slipped my mind but I can’t help but think that wasn’t the case. For one thing, they are supposibly best friends all the way from childhood. For another he saw my boyfriend four times a week due to working together in peewee football. Third because I know his wife looks down on me, us even. We don’t make as much money. We don’t fit their lifestyle, crowd, whathaveyou. We would be the pity invite. As sad as that sounds, I still want the pity invite. Flat out not being included has proven to be worse.
I can’t seem to make an honest friend out here. Part of my wants to move back home so bad to be around my old friends. A part of my is afraid they will reject me as well.
Rejection. I never thought in my adult life I would be dealing with it but here I am, wallowing in it. I’m tired of feeling rejected. 23 months ago


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