Encourage My Kids More

I wrote little Valentine’s notes for the kids to find this morning.

http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/articles/newstex/AFX-0013-20057222.htm

An analyst raised his 2008 price target for Google Inc. (NASDAQ:GOOG) to $700 Friday on predictions of continued advertising growth.

Calling Google ‘one of the best operating companies within our coverage universe,’ Bear Stearns (NYSE:BSC) analyst Robert S. Peck raised his price target for fiscal 2007 to $625, from a previous $550, and to $700 for fiscal 2008.

In addition to raising the price target, Peck reiterated his ‘Outperform’ rating on Google’s shares.

Skyrocketing ad revenue from its online search engine and recently acquired YouTube unit should fuel growth, as the company continues to improve on its search technology and expand its Internet products, Peck said.

‘Google’s efforts in online video, radio and print, have added a layer of value that is absent from its competitor’s portfolio of offerings and which has the potential to yield significant financial rewards,’ Peck said.

Of the 29 analysts covering Google who reported price targets to Thomson Financial, only ThinkEquity Partners previously expected the stock to reach $700 in 2008. Price targets from the remaining 28 fell in the range of $540 to $700, or a median of $600.

Peck now expects third-quarter profit of $3.88 per share, on revenue of $2.96 billion, up from previous estimates of $3.82, on revenue of $2.86 billion.

Shares of Google closed Thursday at $579.03.

Encouragement is hard to give right now. Patience is difficult too, maybe its, because I need a break? Maybe it’s because I am getting burnt out. Maybe it’s that I am fed up with doing it all by myself for all these years and want someone else to take over, or at least be willing to help out.
They, the kids, the drive me crazy; I snap at them, I have less patience then I normally would. That is not like me. I try to be nice and calm, but they get to me, and they know they do it. The get to me so much, that, they know when to push the right or wrong button, and they get to me, so I give in give up, and go on.
It’s frustrating, so much where I want them to just leave the room, leave go outside to play, to give me some space, let me breathe. I wanna scream.

Their dads are such idiots.
Do they help? No they seem to make my job even harder.
Take dad one for instance. I have him staying with me {another story} for some time, he lost his job, ok he got fired. The nice part of me said sure come on you can stay here for a few.
Anyway, he is now staying, working part time, helping out with the kids, after school, and the days he doesn’t work.

So dad #1 is at the house, it benefits him too, he gets to spend time with the kids,{I say THE kids, he is there for my daughter then her own dad} he adores them both, but he lacks the parent part. He lets them stay up and fall asleep watching TV, my big pet peeve. He lets them do whatever. HE does play board games, spends quality time with them. He has the patience the want to be around, maybe it’s from the times he hasn’t been around and he now see the time is good to be there. So the situation benefits us both.

Now, the kids, get to spend some time with SOMEONE that doesn’t snap at them, doesn’t yell and someone that doesn’t give them things to do; but then again they run the house.
That benefits me, to the best point that I can spend time without them and I can spend time at my other HOME, the BF’s house, my oasis, my hiding spot.
The AMY time that I crave; I don’t even have to be OUT doing anything, just there, ya know.

Now dad #2 or asshole/loser/stupid/jerk-off/drunk-ass that’s some other names he goes by. He would much rather be pretending to be a rock star, and rehearse for the next American idol, or that VH1 show, making the band. Remember that?

Anyway he wants a family when it’s convenient for him and his new friend, {who my daughter calls, her 2nd mom.} nice}
Assmunch doesn’t want to spend time with MY son, he would much rather push him aside, and my son sees that, he knows he is a drunk, well so does the girl. The kids are getting older and they see the actions more, and hear the words less.
Promises are empty & broken. Things come up. That’s the reasoning behind it.
He lost his job too, irony? Karma!
Yes the girl keeps saying dad got fired because the boss’s daughter didn’t like him, huh, wonder why….keep coming to work reeking of beer. Whatever, he is supposed to be getting unemployment, but isn’t yet.
Which he says is because of me, I took him to court to get him on the record with FOC, and start having his paycheck garnished, yea yea, about time. That nice part of me again; too nice for my own good.
So the dad is there when it’s not a practice night, and when he isn’t hung over on Saturdays, he picks the girl up.

Oh wait did I tell you?? He has the NEW job, apparently working the weekends; and nights.

So bottom line, how can I encourage them, when I need encouragement?

The white board door knob hangers have a habit of wandering off (especially when the 3 year old is busy) so today I got a new one and used packing tape to attach it to my oldest’s door. Then I wrote a “good job” note on it.

My youngest loves the notes I’m leaving on his white board. It’s helping me focus on catching him being good.

Today the boys did a good job cleaning their rooms, so I wrote a little notes saying things like, “nicely made bed!” and “good looking room!”

I am naturally a positive, nurturing person. But somehow with my kids, it comes out the least. That is completely backward.

I think I spend so much time with them, my patience gets worn down. I don’t know if my expectations are too high, or I am spread too thin to deal with more than the problems, or we just got stuck in a negative cycle. It’s probably a combination. I am going to read The Good Enough Child to get some perspective.

A big reason I am spread so thin is that I do so much for them. But if they don’t perceive the way that I am showing them love as love, then this is a problem.

My goal is to say one positive, encouraging thing to each of them every day. I started by writing a positive note on my youngest’s white board.

I love my kids, and I know that they love me, when they kiss me good nite, and give me hugs in the morning, and when they go off to school the blow me kisses. So that is a lot of loving, affection, my parents never did/do that.
I let them know that I am proud of them, and if they do flub up, I think they know that I am not mad, just disappointed, and help them see my point of it, I don’t look at it as rationalizing, but more so looking ahead.
Like when my son didn’t turn in his math assignment on time, he is now in 5th grade, so it’s only getting tougher, well he had 50% of the grade marked off, right away. and I tried to explain that he needs to get his work in on time, no excuses. The teacher is preparing him for the middle school, and so on. I gave hiim examples on how my classes, would not accept the work after the due date.
So I thiknk that got to him, because he comes home now and makes sure its done, wwell before I get home, or if he needs help he asks me or the grandparents, (grandpa is good in Math, but this “new math shit? ugh)

I don’t yell or get to the point where I have to, I think they know the rules, and if the do not follow, then I start to talk to them about things getting taken away. gameboy pc time, spongebob, legos, whatever that ‘toy’ of the week is.compromise, if you do your work then you can do this. if not, no tv. and tv time is very limited as it is.
so encouraging my kids, is a daily battle, and so far so good.
We always can work on things, and we are not perfect. but I am loving, caring understanding and to the point, there is no guessing as to what mood I am in, or what punishment your getting. THEY KNOW i mean business, and when it’s fun family time.

I graduated with a GPA of 3.56
I had a week of summer vacation with the kids.
I got hired in at this company 2 weeks after graduation day.
I get to wear a cap and gown and take the walk.

How much more can I encourage my kids right now?

My oldest daughter. Rachael had her 23rd birthday yesterday, 23 April. I am very proud of her. For my birthday she mad me a collage of her pictures over the years.