feel whole again

Samoća, Mirolslav Antić

Svoju snagu prepoznaćeš po tome
koliko si u stanju
da izdržiš samoću.

Džinovske zvezde samuju
na ivicama svemira.
Sitne i zbunjene
sabijaju se u galaksije.

Seme sekvoje bira čistine
sa mnogo sunca, uragana i vazduha.
Seme paprati zavlači se u prašume.

Orao nikad nije imao potrebu
da se upozna sa nekim drugim orlom.
Mravi su izmislili narode.

Svoju snagu prepoznaćeš po tome
koliko si u stanju
da prebrodiš trenutak,
jer trenutak je teži
i strašniji i duži
od vremena i večnosti.

Translation of Loneliness by Mirolsav Antic:
You can recognize your strenght by your ability to handle loneliness. Giant stars sit alone at the edges of space. Small and confused get together in galaxies. Redwood seed chooses wide plains with lots of sun, hurricanes and air to grow on. Fern seed hides into jungles. An eagle never had the need to meet another eagle. Ants invented nations. You can recognize your strenght by your ability to handle the moment, because moment is harder and scarier and longer than time and eternity.
(sorry about this poor translation… anyway, the point is there)

I’m wondering… Is it possible to be whole, but alone? Do we really need someone else to feel enough confident and worthy? I’m so lost…

Really good. Happy. Healthy. Optimistic.

Really good. Happy. Healthy. Optimistic.

Really good. Happy. Healthy. Optimistic.

Long and ugly story short… About six months ago, I encountered a particularly depraved random-very random-act of violence. I survived and by all accounts have coped remarkably well, but I still don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’ve lost something… confidence, maybe? But that’s not quite right. Mojo, perhaps? My big goal is to figure out what it is that I lost that day and get it back—or fill that space with something equally satisfying. All of my other goals are meant to contribute towards that one in one way or another.