Get over my first love

When I look back now it is so silly! There is no such thing as particular things you can do to make this happen… you just needs lots of time and perspective to realize that if this person were all you thought they were and you were right for each other that you would be living happily ever after right now. I became with my first love on Facebook recently and apparently he has joined a cult and is using the social networking forum to recruit new members, so not what I want in life!

Hey so my situation is a little different. Me and this guy never went together.He was my first “everything”. We spent everyday together. We were almost there but then we had this huge falling out. We basically had everything but the title. That was my Freshman year of college. So we stopped talking sophmore year only txt and spoke occasionally. And I was a wreck. Turns out that our junior year he had gotten into a relationship. Yet we had begin to pick up where we left off. We’ve told each other how we feel and the whole situation is really complicated. He’s not in his relationsip any more but I that doesn’t matter. I know I was wrong for partaking in him cheating on her but he started back contacting me. In a way I feel like I was there first so its ok. I love this boy and now that I’m a rising senior I’m ready to either make it offical or leave him the hell alone for good cuz my heart cant take anymore of this back and forth.I’ve never been in such a complicated situation in my life. Sometimes I regret the day I met him. So tell me what you guys think. Dont sugarcoat anything!!! Thanks

I just recently broke up with my first boyfriend. He’s mexican and only speaks spanish, last month he spoke to his parents in mexico and his parents are asking him to come back home. He told me that he totally forgot about him going back to mexico. Then one time he gets a call from a girl and they were on the phone for about 10 min. After they hung up I asked him who was on the phone and he didn’t answer me, all told me was that it was one of his boys. I didn’t believe for one second. Anyways and then all of sudden on my birthday he told me that he talked to his parents again and his mom asked him when is he coming back home. So we broke up on my birthday. One more thing he told that he’s not sure when he’s going to mexico. So I don’t know what to think if the reason we broke up is cause he’s going to mexico or cause of the girl and I’m still having a hard time trying to get over him. Everything that he gave me I put it in a shoe box, up in my closet. I try to keep really busy and not think about him but its really hard. I still love him, I need somebody’s opinion of what should I believe. My girls husband says that might be the reason why we broke up. So I don’t know what to believe. Can somebody give me advice how to keep busy so I won’t think about him. The reason I’m saying about why we broke its cause in the back of my mind I thought of that girl. HELP!

I just need to do it! I know what I need to do..I need to stop lying to myself and thinking that HE will come back to me…I need to start putting myself first and realize my worth. I am a person of substance and I need to start believing that.

I just had my heartbroken last night. I finally got closure from him, but I am still so in love with him. We broke it off because it was for the best, but I just dont know how to get over him. I am trying so hard to get over him and I just dont know what to do. I have been crying all day and I dont think anyone understands. Everyone says its for the best, he has another girlfriend. He told me he loves me but he is not in love with me. I just dont know what to do. I am so frustrated. Getting over my first love? How do I explain it? its more painful than having all my limbs being torn off at once.

we have been together for 4 year, i was 16 she was 15 ( still at school!) we had so much and when i think back it was all so wonderful. But we have kinda been on and off for the last year. I know all her family realy well and they love me and i love them which is something else i will miss, they dont even know yet and dont know hot to tell them. now she has found someone else, she got sick of it all and she realy does love him now :(. We just stoped getting along but now i just want her back so much, I will do anything for her but it is no use, she has tunnel vision for him. We know everything about each other, if she is sad i know exacly what is wrong and how to help. i know the things she loves and her me and we would do that for eachother all the time, even over that last year! Anyway, its felt good to put this to paper. there is so much more i want to say, all are positive things about us and how i want her back. Thanks for reading.

I think back to September 2006, when I had just moved out of my parents house to go away to university. I was excited at becoming independent..but little did I know I didn’t really become independent and instead now, 2 and 1/2 years is when it’s starting. Before school started I met a boy. I had never had a boyfriend, or been kissed, and I was 18 years old. He was 5 years older than me but I didn’t care. 3 days after we met he kissed me, my first kiss, and I was hooked. We dated…and then “went on a break” after about 4 months. He promised he wouldn’t see anyone else because that was my fear. 1 week later he started seeing someone else—but me being so inexperienced & so infatuated with him I kept seeing him on and off. He lied about this other girl & I didn’t find out he dated someone else til after they broke up. It’s now 2007 and we broke up for a while. In the fall he came back around, trying so hard to make up for his past & since I never really got over him I gave it another shot, stupid I know.

It was November 11th, 2007, Remembrance Day…and I will always remember that day now for 2 reasons. We got back together that day and he spent all his time making up for what he did & making me feel more loved than I could ever imagine. He bought me a beautiful crystal promise ring for our 1 year anniversary, and took me to Florida on vacation for a week. Fast forward to January 2009. Things just became different. He was back at school full-time & meeting lots of new friends. Our university program is female-dominated which meant he had to be friends with a lot of girls. That’s fine. But suddenly he’s talking, messaging all these new girl friends & now going out to the bars & partying with them & hiding it from me! He tells me the next day so I don’t have a chance to ask him to come with. And every time I ask him to come out to the bars with me he always has an excuse and says the bars are “not some place I want to take my girlfriend”. And now he won’t let me meet his female friends because he says I just want to stalk them & scare them off and if I don’t have an interest in being their friend then I have no right to meet them. Which is ridiculous.

Anyway we went “on a break” again a month ago. But then reverted back to our old ways of seeing each other. 2 days ago he broke things off with us. But says it’s temporary. Since January he had become very disrespectful (calls me names but says “it’s a joke”, puts me down all the time, lies about stupid things, won’t let me meet friends, doesn’t want to spend as much time with me etc.) He says he needs this time apart so that he can learn to appreciate me, learn to respect me, and not take things for granted. He also promised even though we are broken up he will not see anyone else (yeah like last time, I’ll believe it when I see it!). He says this promise will help me with my trust issues because he says it can be his of proving to me that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else & will show that.

What I just can’t understand is that he wants this “alone time” yet still wants to hang out and talk “as friends”. How is he supposed to have this time away from me & be able to think things through if he is still hanging around me?

I know he is verbally abusive but I just wish he would change. He used to be so wonderful & even talked about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And when we are out in public he goes back to acting nice & it makes me upset because I can still see the good in him but that obviously he has control over his behaviour, he just chooses not to. I have told him so many times to stop his behaviours but he won’t take me seriously.

I have not contacted him since the breakup 2 days ago. I went home to stay with my parents for a few days, feeling not too bad, I was really surprised because I thought I would feel horrible & be crying constantly, but I was doing really well that day—until he called. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out for supper…and then I told him I had gone home for a few days. He sounded very shocked and said “Oh, I didn’t expect that, so i guess we can’t hang out tonight?” so I told him maybe Wednesday when I get back. I’m trying to play hard to get because I think he got bored that he doesn’t have to try with me. If he sees what he’s missing, maybe he will come back and realize how good he’s got it.

But I don’t know what to do…my friends say ditch him, he’s abusive. I just don’t know how to get over him. He’s been my life for the past 2 and 1/2 years and I don’t know where to start. He was my first for EVERYTHING, first boyfriend, first kiss, and so on. His insults have caused me to lose my self esteem and I feel that there isn’t anyone else out there who would want me. I feel sort of like damaged goods. I am not the little innocent one anymore as my friends had named me, and to be honest I kind of liked having the innocent small-town girl label. I never was popular with boys and I sort of feel like there isn’t anyone out there who would want me. I know I deserve better but I just keep holding on to that he will change back. I’m used to him and only him, and I’m afraid that I won’t get over him & will compare him to every future relationship, or worse I will move on and find someone and he will come crawling back & me most likely will not be over him 100% and maybe leave who I’m with for something that won’t work out…I mean come on if we go out again it will be the 3rd time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me right?

If anyone has any tips on how to get over this…please help

Don’t you realize what you are to me? What you are always going to be? You are the love of my life. Everyone else is going to be second best, There will never be another you

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you

This is a hard one I think. I’ve been doing quite well actually, but he called me tonight upset and just wanted to spend time with me. I didn’t really know what to do; it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with him, but when we’re still only relying on each other when we get upset then we can never really move on.

It’s not so much that I’m having a hard time being on my own, it’s that I have a hard time being with him. Everything is kind of awkward still and I’m not really sure what the boundaries are and how much we should see each other. We’ve been best friends for years now and we didn’t end on bad terms, so it’s hard to justify spending so much time apart.

I guess I’ll just have to work on it some more. I did try to explain to him my point of view tonight, but I think he was just hurt by the whole thing and I feel horrible about not being there for him. It makes me mad sometimes that he puts me in these awkward situations were he asks me to spend time with him. I think time apart is better for us, but I feel horrible saying no when he is upset.

All well, time to go spend some time with my friends and relax… it is Saturday night after all….

The truth is that no one can help me through this. They can sympathize, they can give advice, but they can’t help because they don’t understand.

I should let go. That’s what I should do. But I don’t want to and I can’t. Because if I let go, I am losing more than just a person. I’m losing a best friend. I’m losing the person who taught me what it feels like to be wanted, to feel beautiful, and to feel like I matter.

And it’s only made harder by the fact that our break-up was anything but simple. Our break-up was a result of judgmental parents, distance between colleges, and simply a lack of being willing to fight for the relationship.

He still says maybe we can get back together. He still says he misses certain things about me. He still says all this even though he has a girlfriend.

How am I supposed to get over someone who won’t even let me go completely despite the fact that HE broke up with ME?