Put God First

I stumbled upon this gem today.

This is going to be a long one.
God talks to me every day.
Yup, every day.
Alot of people would do anything for this privileged, but, I, for the longest time hated the thought of just doing what God asked of me.
And when I say God talks to me, I mean that God Instills a conviction in me. A conviction so strong that my heart and soul would give everything to complete what God asked of me. But my mind, Oh, my mind would do anything to stop me, and of course my body did what my mind told it to. The thing I hated the most was the fact that God would never ask me to do anything that I couldn’t complete; Oh, this fact burned with the stench of failure, every time I let a moment pass me and I didn’t do what God asked of me. But I, at the time, leaned my ladder on the world, so I couldn’t do what God asked of me because I would be thought of as strange or weird.
Then God gave me a wake up call and I came to my senses. When I put my hope in God I became less frustrated, everything became easier, and I felt genuinely happy.
I could leave it at this and my story would be just fine, but I can’t.
As a child I almost always did as God asked of me.
God told me something, before I turned to the world, that for which I thought I could never forgive Him. And if I never forgave God, what he told me would never come to pass.
What He said was so hard for me to take, so very hard.
God told me that I (I’m getting a knot in my stomach just writing this) was going to follow him, do what he asked of me, and and and was going to bring a giant flock to the Lord.
Not so bad.
But one would stir many against my God and I would be persecuted and killed, but not die.
I didn’t figure out what that last part meant for a long long time.
But I know what the first part meant and I was terrified; I don’t want to be killed.
Not until I came to my senses and accepted Gods words did God reveal the good side of His request of me (somewhere in Revelations).
I feel Great and I am currently working on Putting God First every day.
So do what God wants you to, every time.

I’ve been to church for three Sundays in a row.

and it’s my one year anniversary of my baptism—forgot the exact day. haha.

and I’m going to a Christians on Campus gathering tomorrow

I’ve been reading the Bible daily

the other week I read a ton.

one of my misconceptions about my faith was that I somehow become a better person by being religious. the truth is I am simultaneously perfect in God’s image, yet perfectly flawed, unable to ever become free of sin. The only reason to be religious is to give it your best at living a Christian life, and to live as if you believe in God, giving up your life for God…

yep, God’s first in my life.

he pretty much saved my life.
how else do I repay him?

haha, what a conflicting thing to say.

let’s just say
thank you God. for everything. good&bad.

How do you make decisions? A conscious is a good place to start. People without religion still have a conscious. Likewise, some people who have religion lack a conscious.

Everything leads back to God. When every conversation you have and everything you think about goes back to the basic fact that God exists; then you know you are putting God first.

I try to put God first, last, and everytime in between.

example: I was meant to go out to a belated bday dinner with Unnamed and it begins to snow. What decision do I make? Go to the dinner, have them pick me up, go to a different restaurant, eat in, delay it. Que? Don’t worry about it.

For me, putting God first means letting the flow carry you. Obviously I can’t make the dinner even if I wanted to. God sent the snow…
Recognizing God in your life is only the first step.

Life is difficult. How do you know what to do. There are so many choices sometimes. Sometimes I prefer to be told. You have to decide when to wake up, when to go to bed, what to eat, what to do, where to go to school, what to major in, what career to choose, where to work, where to apply, where to go, what to do in your free time, what goals you have, who you date, who you talk to, how you talk, how you dress. There’s a lot of stuff to manage. It mostly comes automatic. Sometimes there’s a conflict. And in the conflict choose which God would have you choose. Listen to God, God will show you the true way and therefore the decision becomes much easier. The decision is only a hard one if you go it without God—alone.

During my day a lot of random thoughts pop into my head. “I think I smell biscuits,” “Hoy es Miércoles,” “I’m so stressed out,” or “Tomorrow I get to see mi amor.” Anyways, today one of my random thoughts was positive. I was actually listening to a CD about Truth and it made me think about coping with my stress. The CD said “Let Failures, Set-backs & Frustrations be the Fertilizer of your Dreams.” For instance Stress=Motivation (school, work, homelife is stressing me out therefore I’m motivated to stay in school etc and tough it out until the blessed day that is only 899 or less days away. Plus, it’s Christmastime, it puts me in a good-positive-everything’s-just-jolly mood.
I also had a thought of: “Anyone can recognize a Good Thing but an exceptional person can turn a difficult situation into a positive one. For instance, I need to save money, therefore I cannot spend it, hence me spending a lot of quality time with mi amor rather than ignoring him in some movie theater. Hmm.
It may be enticing to reserve yourself to “Failure” but it take Faith to believe this is delivered by God, for your own good.

Why do I decide,
Why do I not decide.
Decisions, Decisions.
I need to 1) Read the Biblia, 2) Go to church, stop staying out and choosing the Bf over God. My boyfriend needs to bring me closer to God, not create this division. You know what? I’m taking a day off. All this crap is just gettin’ to me. umm, jk. I should know better. Why do we choose to go against God?

God reveals Himself if only I listen hard enough. This doesn’t mean whenever it is convenient for myself to stop and think about God. No, God must be ingrained into every morsel of our being. I need to move with Purpose, think with Purpose. Everything I do is For God. Lately I’ve actually overcome some temptation that the Devil has thrown at me, and Glory To God for it because I am weak especially when it comes to the opposite sex…the muscular toned handsome soothing romantic suave intoxicating obsession-inducing, makes-me-want-to-stalk-him kind of temptation. jk. ...sortof.

Putting God first may sound vague. I try to put God first opposed to…1)my boyfriend, 2)school, 3)work, 4)everything else. Most frequently I listen to my own wants instead of what I know God wants me to do. More specifically, premarital sex, the constant struggle; listen to self or God. I need to align my own wants with God. Realistically, I need to 1)pray, 2)not put myself in a situation where I may put God second. This sounds cautious and a bit extreme but I know this is what God wants me to do.

I really wanted to get back into church. It’s been about 2 months, probably more since I went to church. I was going to church for about 2 yrs probably less, with my ‘now ex.’ I was hungry for church. I needed church.

I went a-searching in the interwebz and didn’t understand one word of the denominationalis. So, I basically looked for a diverse church that didn’t scare me. I found a nice one; Church of Christ. It’s ‘nondenominational’ which I think is funny/oxymoronic/ironic because it’s still a denomination of nondenominationalism, omg long word.

I went with my boyfriend. It’s UHMAZING. people are chill, small church, really warm and fuzzy and REALLY GLAD MY BF WENT BUT UNSURE WHY IM TYPING IN CAPS, SO ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE TYPE LIKE DIS. anyways, I’m definitely going back next Sunday.