burst the self-improvement bubble and nurture self-acceptance

took that self-help book out of my shelf, the inner critic and it seems so fundamental… all the fancy psychological theories seem secondary, if only we could work, personally and with clients, on helping them to identify that inner critis, as opposed to try to make them ‘better’, or understand ‘what’s wrong with them/me’

what i find most important right now is to accept those parts of myself which have been made ‘non-ok’ for so long by those raising me, and right now the part most important to accept and welcome, even if it is not an easy place, is the part of me which feels so angry, bitter and frustrated. And what is important too is to see this part as being of me but not being me, not identifying with it while respecting it. feels liberating.

I’ve spent 12 years in britain hoping to get more ‘ok’ before going back home and be acceptable, and I realize now that this will never happen, I will never be ok as ‘they’ need me to be. The only thing i can do is to accept who i am right today, with all the bits that stick out and are less pretty, and basically say f… off to the self-improvement mode on which i have locked myself into for decades

and this seems to be even more urgent!!!!

I’ll have to – on the sick for the following month, maybe more. Maybe one way to nurture myself is to be patient with myself and not rushing me. Am now dizzy and my balance goes funny, can’t dress up without stumbling a little bit, which tends to irritate me and a criticism will pop to my head. Yeap, patience with myself will be the first step!

This goal encompasses a lot of the other ones and basically sums it up!

This is such a great thing to focus on. Many of us including me spend our days running as fast as we can to improve this and improve that, always trying to get ahead and it turns out that we are good to go right now, where we are.

The subtle difference in the frame of mind is world altering.

Not to say we can’t improve, or work for it, but we don’t need the pressure of thinking we must improve to be “something” or “better”, the mere act of taking the actions that make us ourselves is enough if we can have satisfaction in them.

... is well