Give up having resentments

At a certain point this goal would simply be about denying the actual past that really happened. I guess what I meant was give up letting resentments bother me, because what’s done is done. I also wanted to assert an empowering vision of my own life. So I think I’ve done that, but not to the point of denying reality and there is resentment, it’s simply a natural reaction to the things that have happened. So I’ll keep this on the list, and never check it off!

I was trying to remember this quote the other day ‘cus it’s my perspective on life. “Refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.” I don’t feel resentment in my heart. I feel open to the world, excited about life. I’ve done a lot to sort my head out in the last few years. Found that once you try to fix one major issue, you end up fixing a lot more, many of my problems intertwined. And I’ve had compassion for myself and the mistakes I’ve made. Learned from them, and I find myself seeing my mistakes in others and being able to draw paralells and forgive them too. Cool.

I had a thought about how you plow the old dead crops under in the fall to recycle the material to grow new crops in the spring. Somehow that got me to realize it is okay to put a resentment to bed and move on. I don’t have to understand the issue in totality, I don’t have to make the perfect resolution of the situation. I can fold it into the earth and grow from it.

It’s good to have some resentment to fuel one’s darkly humorous cynicism, I find. ;)

You will always have a resentment. However, seeing your own complicity, without falling prety to regret, is helpful. We learn from things, and I have learned not to sacrifice for others to the point of hurting myself. That’s a good thing, ain’t it.

I think Mary, Queen of Tots said it best. “It’s trite, but refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”
I’ve come to realize this is the only way forward, recognize we all make mistakes. Sometimes the person that hurt you doesn’t know it. Just gotta find the way that will give you peace, whether it means talking to the person without attacking them or just letting it go. I’m practicing listening to that quiet wise voice in the back of my head that usually prods me to do things that I resist but are good for me.