forgive others

My spouse made decisions without consulting me. Those decisions turned an illness into a terminal illness. It’s been 3 months since that fateful day.

While I understand the motivations behind the decisions, it still hurts that I wasn’t consulted, nor was my future well-being considered.

I love my spouse and appreciate what he tried to accomplish. But, I also carry a lot of pain with me. Pain that might have been avoided had he been willing to try.

and accept that this goal is not plausible for me right now, and I have to take baby steps to get to this one.

I’m trying to let go of two areas of trauma from my childhood. Every time I think I’m successful, I get slammed by a memory triggered by a sound, a scent, who knows what.

- From earliest memory I suffered from the hands of a family member who liked to fondle any woman without the sense to stay away from him. He’s dead, now, and I still want to do the happy dance when I think of his demise
- I had a stepmother who hated our existence. She did everything she could to drive a wedge between us, our father, and our paternal grandmother. We went many years of not communicating with one another because of the hurt. I cannot bring myself to stop wishing her the worst that could befall her.

I have tolerated quite a lot, and have definitely been rewarded for my patience. I’m glad that this is a goal of mine. It’s going well so far.

I want to forgive others for what they have done, and sometimes I convince myself that I have. I get that sense of peace and being settled. Then something happens- I see something that triggers a negative memory or emotion, and that peace is out the window. I want to be able to forgive fully and let go of past slights.
I also need to determine when it is best to forgive AND step away, especially when people keep committing the same hurts over and over again.

i want to let go of all the anger i have for my ex-boyfriend who dumped me 2+ months ago (it’s good…i can’t remember anymore how long it was :) i used to count every day!) i want to let go of my anger for him dumping me and for all the anger i had and have from our relationship that is over…i should be done with him but i’m not :( he’s over me! so frustrating!!!

Yea, still waiting for an apology.. apologies, rather.

After leaving an abusive relationship over 16 months ago I finally realize I need to forgive my former partner. I read something very profound by Dr Phil. He said by not forgiving someone for their wrong doings we are bonding with that person and they ultimately still control us. Well this did it for me… I refuse to let my ex have any more control over me. By not forgiving I am allowing him to still hurt me.. and he had done enough of that in the relationship and after. Forgiving him doesn`t change what he did.. and he doesn`t even need to know. I am doing this for me. He will always be what he is and he has to live with it .. not me. I am moving on…

I work myself up too much over dumb things, and dwell on things that are actually bad/wrong. I need to forgive, forget, move on. Also should note that if I talked less smack, I would forgive a lot more easily. Gossip rarely makes us feel better…