don't block emotions

Today, I’ve been writing about a bunch of feelings that have been keeping me awake. The text went into a text-file on the computer. You might call it a diary, if you wish.

I think this was a good idea. Certainly better than having all those thoughts in my head. I’d really like to talk about these with the persons involved, but I’m not really good at expressing feelings and thoughts in conversation. Mostly because I haven’t made my mind up. Because I need lots of thinking time before I say something, and because I’m afraid to make myself vulnerable by opening up like that. I’m so afraid of offending the other or saying something wrong that I end up not saying anything at all and keeping things for myself. And then I get frustrated with myself again…

I can already see myself delete the file again in a couple of days. Afraid that someone would find it.

cropping up emotions, and never letting them out. It’s a bad thing for my health. I try to avoid emotional situations, often leaving me with doubt and worries that keep me awake at night.