choose joy

When I started this goal I thought it would be easy. It turns out that every goal I have set for the week is a real struggle. It would seem that if I have to choose kindness, I am faced with hate and if I have to choose hurmour I am faced with ill will and bullying. It’s hard work this joy caper.

This week I had to choose to laugh – and oh boy did i have very little to laugh about! This goal is really bringing a few things into very sharp focus for me which is frankly a good thing. But on the other hand I get to the end of the week and look back and think – well, I could have done that a bit better.

Perhaps I should be giving myself a little more credit. Perhaps (and this is completely precendented) I’m thinking too much about this.

Perhaps I sould just let this one go.

That would be sad. I know what I have to do to fix the things that are unkind and next week I will approach that situation with better humour. Here we go!

It turns out that being kind is actually not the easiest thing for me. This week I’m not sure i got this one signed off – not to say that I was beastly to eveyone I came into contact with. That’s not the case at all. But there were moments at my desk during my day when I was thinknig to myself, golly, could I have been kinder to him? Could I have taken the extra thrity seconds to aks her how her day was going? Am I really letting kindess shine through my actions?

So I was thinking it, but am not sure that I made it all the time.

On the up side, I did manage to help a friend, listen to someone in crisis, laugh with my boss, thank for help reveiced, ask how her day was, share myself with friends, hold it in (and let it out), speak softly, brighten my house…

I reckon I managed this 60% of the time. While that’s ok, I think I will carry this forward for next week as well. No harm in making sure I’m totally on the ball with this.

NEXT WEEK: choose kindness and humour

I am struggling with a dilemma today. A wants me to go with him to his colleague’s husband’s b’day tonight, but I feel under-par and tired. I’m also travelling to Manchester tomorrow for my first crit session.

I hate letting people down, and I hardly ever do it, but just feeling incredibly antisocial at the moment. I’ll see how it goes today.

This goal is working!

If I get mad, I remind myself of the choice and hey presto!

Ok so this goal is slightly nebulous so I’ve decided to narrow it down into easy to do chunks. When I run out of chunks and I haven’t fallen back into old habits…I’ll mark this one off the list.

So here goes for chunk #1:
1. choose kindness

Let’s go!

I think future chunks will be:
2. choose humour
3. choose adventure
4. choose quite contemplation
5. choose love
6. choose randomness
7. choose control
8. choose JOY!

I fail today. I choose hate. This day freaking sucks.

I feel the need to express gratitude to the cheer fairy for giving me considerable reason to choose joy yesterday. for two days I was given 0 cheers to hand out and it was depressing. But yesterday was my day friends. O yes, it was a glorious thing… I began the day with 11 cheers, the most I’ve ever had at my disposal. As I felt slighted at my lack of cheers the previous day I was determined to give out every last one of those dang things. But much to my surprise every time I would give them away I’d be given more cheers! two more cheers, three more cheers, one more cheer! It was a cheer extravaganza! I could not be stopped! I was high on cheer spirit! My cheer streak came to an end shortly after midnight. Today I had 1 cheer, which I promptly gave away. I can tell you kids, cheer hangovers suck. It’s never fun coming down. Still, I lift my glass to the cheer fairy for the wild ride. I shall never forget our special day together.

today is hard. I had to say goodbye to someone I care about. I don’t know if there is any use worrying about it anymore. God is in control and He keeps putting up blockades so it must not be His will. God has a plan for me, I know. It’s hard to let go of something you hope for. But God keeps saying “move out of your comfort zone. branch out!” so I am. Including moving on in my life. I’m a big girl and I need to grow up. and I’m choosing to be joyful about it since He is the one making things go this way.

I know God is in everything that happens to me. This week so many things in my life fell apart, didn’t pan out, came to a screeching halt. BUT sunday during service I knew God was speaking to my heart. He was preparing me for what more would come. So monday I lost my job. Saturday my car broke down. Relationships have problems. Everyday I CHOOSE JOY! It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, God has a plan and I can choose to find joy in hard times. These are all temporary and insignificant things anyway. It’s not like what other people are facing in this world today.

It talked about how we cannot decide to be happy, because happiness is an emotion. But joy, it comes from deep down and it’s a decision. We can choose to be joyful even when everything is falling apart around us. I want to choose joy in my life. I am naturally a very pessimistic person and it’s hard for me to see the bright side of things. I truly want to live in hope and in peace that God will take care of me and that He will direct my paths no matter what. I think this starts with praise. So everyday, each morning I’m going to write one thing I’m thankful for and praise God for it.