regain my faith

it will come.

i feel like god is walking away from me. I used to be so tight with god, or maybe i just thought i was , i dont know. but if i could see god now he would be just a dot in the distance. where are you god? let me come home.

It is frustrating how guilty i feel when i do things that aren’t by my family’s faith but it is difficult to avoid things you want to do when you don’t feel your faith has done anything for you. it sounds selfishand wrong but its so confusing…i wish i could be stable and safe in my faith again. I admire my sisters and any other commited christians but for me it appears to be more of a challenge…

It is strange, but during the hardest and most painful part of my life I simply regained my belief. I don’t know how it happened … it just came back and now I believe again! I still feel pain, I am still tensed and very much worried about someone, but I know God is taking care of me and taking care of him too… I simply know that and I can go on…

I do believe in this:

“Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I have lost my faith. I don’t know exactly when it happened, when I changed so much, but I have lost my faith fully. I don’t know how to regain it, where and how to start, who or what could help me…