Be fabulous at 50

Man did I have a crappy year in the realm of “accepting Sandy for the person she is and appreciating her talents and goodness”. I managed to keep being around superficial people and insecure people and just plain old jerks. I did have some very good and thoughtful people in my life too, so there is always silver lining if you look closely. I guess what I found out is that there were things that I thought might be important, but they weren’t. I defined my boundries and discovered true friends. The most important part of the journey for me has been those little painful moments where I realized that I have the self confidence and inner strength to see peoples faults and judgements and ignore them. There are painful injustices in our culture that revolve around judging people by their youthful appearance,race,gender,age,perceived financial success,fitness,education, blah,blah while ignoring their experience, judgement and wisdom. I think I figured out what I was seeking to discover.

An interesting thing happened on my journey. I discovered a lot about myself. When I set out seeking fabulousness I knew it had nothing to do with my outer world and everything to do with my heart.

So the date of my birthday came and went. The guy I had been dating didn’t bother to call because he was busy finding someone new to date. Its a good thing. The friend that always calls me didn’t. Still wondering about that. My sister sent me a card and a coffee mug, which the grandkids have already managed to break. One daughter remembered and did an amazing thing by archiving my old photos. The day went by quietly.
Hairs getting grey again because I just don’t want to be a blond anymore than I want any other artificial crap in my life. Put on some weight that I had dropped, but its OK.
The MJ thing really bothered me though. I’ve always been connected to him by our ages. As a kid, I knew he’d be a classmate if he went to my school. It was cool that he was still important even though he had older siblings. I liked that when the younger kid was kind of a winner.
As an adult, I’d still watch as we aged. MJ, me, and Donny Osmond too. The initial news about a heart attack just hit me as, well, we are that age now. Scary because the health things start to kick in, and I thought maybe that was it. Sorry he had such a tortured life. Personally, I think his heart just was broken.
So I didn’t have the party or get to the things I’d hoped for. I’m wiser and thats about all. Not particularly happy, but I have my moments. The calendar days just keep dropping away one by one.

I just read that Susan Boyle might not get a makeover. People are saying, “we love her the way she is”. I’m thrilled. Inner beauty. She did it for her mom. She has such confidence and spirit. What an inspiration.

Yep. Its controversial. The state is worn. Its far from fabulous. She is kind of a couch potato, doesn’t have the drive to flourish. Lives in the Glory Days of her youth. The beauty has faded.

My coworkers and I were getting coffee this morning and the guy, who is my age and has grown up kids did a great thing. Our other coworker was saying that she had a high maintainance son(6) who needs constant connection. In his wisdom, the guy says, “You know, kids like that usually develop into people who care more about other people and are less materialistic”. It was a great thing to say. He had such wisdom. The mom coworker said, “you totally made my day”. I’m so glad I overheard it.
The nice thing about aging is that we actually know the right answers sometimes. We finally know how to say the right thing in the situation. We can comfort others. Life is full of drama and truths that you learn from. You survive stuff and its good.

First Madonna, now Barbie. Who knew! Realizing that Barbie had turned 50 this week, I’ve spent many hours pondering the changing roles of women and men and success. So what has happened in the last 50 years and was Barbie to blame? Really it started on Monday, when I noticed a photo of Michell Obama and Hillary Clinton in the newspaper. Two sucessful women. At 50, for women, success is open to interpretation. 50 or even 30 years ago(hey, I was 20 then) success for women was measured by the accomplishments of her family; successful husband, successful children. Not so much on looks, hardly ever on career. What now? Is it career achievement, financial success, leadership, or health/looks? Do men still have the same measure as 50, 30 years ago; career, possessions, trophy wife? Where are we now?
How much does Barbie have to do with it all? She has been the image of career success, personal fulfillment, public responsibility for my whole life. Oh, of course there was my mom, the women I saw on the sit-coms, and Oprah. But Barbie has managed to be the leader and look fabulous. She has explored everything from career to lifestyle. She has done everything.
I loved her wistful expression as she shared her progesteron with me this evening. We joked about “Menopause: The Musical” and we recalled how she taught me how to sew tiny dresses, buttons, and snaps as a child. Playing together when I was a child, she allowed me to work through relationship and dating drama, seduction, and define the role of beauty and the boyfriend. I learned to plan a wardrobe and accessorize, although those skills never transferred to real life.
Barbie has redefined herself and adapted to the times, so maybe the new 50ish body image is actually more representative of aging Barbie in more ways than marketing and listening to the complaints of those who blame the unrealistic expectations of an anorexic on a toy. It makes sense. I wonder if they’ll make a naturally grey haired Barbie eventually? Will her waist get larger and also will her boobs be less than perky? Saggy even?
And what about the life alone? Who takes care of Barbie and Ken when they start to need help? Did they stay single too long? No kids, no partner to drive them to doctor when the convertable keys get taken by concerned healthcare professionals. Independence leading to nowhere and nobody. Heck,in this economy theres no retirement fund, no employer of 40 years, no social security to fall back on. Hmmm. Looks like those lifelong friendships will have to connect us all in ways we didn’t expect during the golden years. Skipper might have an extra room.

Told my coworker this evening that we should go sing Kareoke for my birthday. This is a plan item. I’m working on a list and then I’ll make a schedule so I can work in the requisite activities prior to the actual day..

I realized that if I don’t start actualizing my fab at 50 checklist, that is going to be a day of disappointment. I don’t want dissapointment. So my plan is to make the plan tomorrow on the bus. I will absolutely start working on at least 3 events each week to advance the process. Little bits are in my head, on my list, in my journals, on my vision board. They will come to life as of daybreak tomorrow. Tiny baby steps, and maybe even some big tango steps, and I shall surf.

So I tested it out today and a couple of people said my hair actually doesn’t look terrible. I’m really glad I didn’t panic and pour on the green dye. Sometimes I let my own insecurities overwhelm my thoughts.