get over my fear of people

im the same with popcornball.. i was bullied in my 3rd year of high school and since then i never got over it. i mean i try to understand all the situations why im sad, why i fear people and realize that i don’t fear people at all. it’s their judgement that i fear. but it got so over the edge that even though i don’t know that person. i still think he judges me by the way i look and will judge me by the way i talk. i can’t remember the feeling of being free anymore. i mean i feel like im locked up in this cage. and my real self is just itching to get out. i don’t want to stay here. i have a girlfriend and when i’m sad because i feel like failed her because we go to the same school and everytime i get scared. i feel terrible. because i shouldn’t be scared of them heck i don’t have to mind them at all. because it’s all about her. but my fear always gets the best of me. sometimes i just get angry at her for no reason.. because i feel angry at myself for not doing anything when my fear strikes. i love her. and everytime i feel down like i want to kill myself. i think about her. and everything seems so clear. that i shouldn’t have to worry about anyone. it’s all in my mind. but when i have the guts for fighting my fear i feel like im doing something wrong. cos the people in school thinks im a weirdo for looking at them for no reason and now they’re scared of me. it’s just that i can’t help looking at them. i feel like they’re saying bad things behind my back when im not lookng. i think it became irrational now. im so scared of being judged but i want to get out of it. i wish i can get over it quickly so i can love my girlfriend fully.. thanks for reading if you ever finish it. lol

Tomorrow is the first day of school again. I have to be back in a classroom with a bunch of people. And lucky for me I hate those people.

I’m trying to list the reasons why I hate them, but I can’t come up with any. I know this is irrational, but I get this feeling of utter dread when I think of going back there. The class and the work isn’t the problem, it’s the people there. That I have to face people again.

Shit.

I have two people on my team who also had to present… We all pulled each other through. We got a lot of complements and accomplished a major objective…. everyone was pretty happy.

Up to 30 people in a conference room at work….. Nice innocent little venue of friends. It has been over a year since I held a review this size. I’m nervous as a cat. What was it Rich told me 2 years ago?
1) be prepared
2) pray and meditate immediately before the meeting
3) leave my ego at the door
4) cover the material
5) leave the results to God.
Worked before. Maybe it will again. What have I got to lose?

talking about it helps. I talked about it with Howard. It helped.

this is probably the most important goal on my list! i have depression and anxiety disorders – esp. social phobia. i am terrified of people! this started because i was severely bullied in school, from elementary school through college. i have a really hard time talking to people – even doing things like answering my phone. a stranger knocking at the door is my nightmare. i’m afraid that all people are mean and evil and want to hurt me – even though i know it’s not true.
i want to get over it!

The more I am isolated the worse it gets. The more I feel I am under scrutiny, the better I get. I have never been free of it without the aid of alcohol. I don’t use alcohol any more…. It actually had a really sharp effect on the other side… I was actually socially unacceptable when I drank alcohol and something that people had to put up with…. all people.. I cetainly don’t want to be that type of person at all. Still, I want to conquer this fear of people thing… I need this both personally and professionally.

i have had this fear for 9 years now, it got a little better but now is very bad again…
i dont go out, if people come over im on pins and cant relax.
up and down all the time…
cant find a reason for it…
i was once very outgoing and confident, even flying to oz alone my first time in the air,,,

I am very anxious when I go to the supermarket, postoffice, metro or anywhere outside alone. I feel like I am the centre of attention and everyone is looking at me. I wish I knew something to do soo that I just blend into the crowd. I also want to know how to react to things socially so that I don’t stand out in the decisiona I take, the movements I make. Going out and keeping my wits anbout me while someone is watching is a very strenuous acticity. Due to this I tend to leave things half done or undone, if it involves interacting with people. I am also not at all asserttive with people except my very own

I think I may be doing a litlle better with my fear of people. Although I still don’t answer my phone unless it’s my mom. But, I chose to be placed in what is called a respite house in my neighborhood which is for people with psychiatric issues. By being there I HAVE to be around people. I am still VERY quiet and get nervous but I am doing it. Also we must attend a day program 5 days a week while staying there. This makes me have to be around people even more. I still won’t go for walks through town or call my old friends but at least I am not holed up 24/7. I do come back to my mom’s house in the evenings and stay pretty isolated here but I think I am headed in the right direction although I can see myself getting back into my old habits. I don’t know what happened to the outgoing party girl I used to be.