This isn’t something in the front of my mind everyday, but it’s certainly something I’m learning quickly.
Recently had a confrontation with an ex, stood my ground in the face of perceived social scrutiny and stood up for my opinion. A BIG step for me. Best part is: He backed down from the action he was taking, and no one I care about thinks worse of me for doing it.
I find that the more sure of myself and my opinions and needs I am (and the higher my self esteem is) the more likely I am to pursue forward methods of communication.
I think self-esteem is the base of my goal. Being sure of what I’m saying is the first thing, ignoring the anxiety of what others will think is the next and finally saying it and standing by what I’ve said is the last. Seems simple, but it’s taken me a while to figure it out.
Of course, if I find out I’m wrong, I’m not too proud to change. There’s a pretty well-defined line between “assertive” and “bitch”.
Since my “goal” was sort of fuzzy on specifics, I’ll say that since this has become a stable form of behavior for me, that I’ve achieved my goal. 4 years ago