I have been struggling with binge drinking for years. I am unable to call it a night after a few drinks. I’ve quit drinking at least a million times, only to stumble again and again. Like clockwork, I:
1) get a killer hangover (sometimes lasting a few days) after a night of insane drinking
2) I tell myself, my wife, etc. that I’m going to quit drinking period because I cannot control my intake
3) A few days later, I decide to have a glass of wine with dinner – no problem, I’m under control.
4) A few days after the glass of wine, I go out with friends, or buy alcohol for drinks at home, or whatever, and end up getting completely wasted
5) I repeat 1-4
My life would be so great if I could just cut alcohol out of the picture. I’m tired of feeling sick, embarrassed, and exhausted, I’m sick of wasting insane amounts of money on drinking, and I’m sick of hurting my wife, family, and friends. I must quit. Drinking has not been a fun thing for me for a long time, it’s extremely hurtful to me and those around me.
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So, went to a therapist. She thinks this problem is all too common. She doesn’t think I’m an alcoholic, and that I can get to the root of why I drink so much in quantity when i actually do drink more than 2. I’m unsure of why she went so easy on me. Maybe bc she recognized how hard I already am on myself. My husband thinks I should never even have 1 glass of wine. He feels that that will just open the doors for a binge. I went out went a friend the other night and just ordered water. I’m glad I am at least obstaining until I feel sure that I can control myself from getting too drunk. Today I looked at my bank statement online, and saw how much money I actually spent on my last night out drunk…I dont remember it being so expensive, and I’m wondering if in my drunkeness, i offered to foot the bill. That makes me feel even more like I lose control, because I usually am generous, but I still watch out for how much I spend. I bought a book, called “Smashed: A story of drunken girlhood.” Keep you posted.
I dont drink often. However, when I do if I’ve had more than 3, I absolutely cannot stop. I get a little tipsy and then it all goes downhill from there. I think i would drink til I die, if noone stopped me. My father and brother are the exact same. None of us crave alcohol, but we do not have an off button like most people and we NEVER get sick. In college, this seemed quite normal. All of my friends would blackout. We’d call each other the next day to try to piece together the end of the night.I never thought I had a problem. Now that I’m almost 30, and married, I really choose to stay home most of the time or go to dinner and have a glass of wine. However, now and then I will be out with a friend that I have a lot of fun with and we’ll get carried away. But, her tolerance is higher than mine and she still seems to know when to say she’s ready to go home. It’s only bc she’s ready to leave that makes me stop, but most of the time its too late bc i’ve already had above my limit. This happens when I’m around anyone else that binge drinks. I’ve been going back and forth about what i should do because I hate myself for getting so drunk, losing self-control, worrying my husband, and putting myself in danger. If i black out, then anyone could take advantage. So far I’ve been lucky. But I dont trust myself. I’m working on coming to a conclusion about whether or not I need to stop drinking altogether. I’m going to try counseling. I dont know if just sticking to 2 or 3 drinks is going to work for me. Only bc once I feel slightly tipsy, the desire to keep going sets in. I’m afraid that if I commit to just 2 drinks that I’ll eventually rationalize that there’s no harm in having one more. I seem to give into peer pressure quite easily when it comes to alcohol. Some people would put me in the catagory of an alcoholic,but I dont drink very often and 4 out 5 times I really do just have 1 or 2. That 5th time though, really bothers me. My husband worries about my safety and wants me to just not even touch the stuff. He doesnt like alcohol. He never has. He might enjoy a specialty beer now and then, but never more than one. I wonder if he’s so hard on me because he doesnt even know what its like to be truly drunk. No matter what I’m hoping that I can be a responsible drinker, like so many normal adults.
My goal this weekend is not to have a single drink. None. Nothing. I want to get lots done this weekend and spend every waking moment healthy and sober.
I am going to quit drinking until Aug. 18… I’m very scared I won’t be able to do it because everyone I know drinks heavily and I like my alcohol as well. I know I need to accomplish this goal to prove to myself that drinking doesn’t control my life. If I can quit partying I will be much more content and productive. Here goes- I’ll keep ya’ll updated :)
Friday: Went out, had a lot to drink while waiting for friend to get together. Went out to a bar, and drunk a lot to celebrate a friends’ birthday. Got in a cab home, but not before getting two McFish sandwiches from McDonalds. Remember bits and pieces but not full on blackout, so I left at the right time. Wasn’t a binge – I just drank something with a lot of tanqueray in it, so got very tipsy.
Saturday: Went out with some friends from out of town. Played pool, hung out, made conversation with the girls nearby. Had a lot of fun, shots were had, but no rapid drinking action. Also, saw a movie first and then had dinner, so I had a full stomach, and got a nice breakfast burrito at the end of it.
Didn’t binge at all, which is awesome.
Went out Friday night to hang out with friends at a new bar – had a vodka on the rocks and then later two beers before we all headed home. Then stayed up with one of my roommates talking about random crap.
Saturday: Hung out with a friend visiting from out of town. Had a drink at another firneds’ house while waiting for the other members of our party to arrive, then went to a hookah bar. Later, went to a bar and actually didn’t drink at all due to a lack of cash. Stayed there drinking soda and chatting until close. Actually was a lot of fun, and for once, I remember ever single part of the night.
I took a few days off from work, so had a lot of free time last week. I spent those days doing what I enjoy the most: working out, running, and reading.
Went out Friday & Saturday Night; no black outs, no stupid activities, no craziness – just hanging out, having a good time and enjoying my friends and a great live band that showed up to the bar the b’day party was in on Saturday.
Pretty quiet weekend; celebrated a birthday, so that entailed a lot of dancing. Drunk alot of beer, but once again concentrated on the people I was with. I ended up getting tired, went to an after-party and didn’t even stay past a few minutes before going home.
Good weekend, and I was definitely more tired than drunk.
Had an enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend – I went to a couple of barbecues and went out on Friday & Saturday night. Had a few drinks on each occassion, but am happy to say that no binging was involved, nor did I get intoxicated. I was concentrating on hanging out with friends, have good conversations and slowing down on the drinking. I woke up at 5:00 am today to hit the gym (every Tuesday and Thursday), and I felt fine and was able to get a good workout, so that proved that I wasn’t hung over in any shape or form.
