exploit my rage

I discovered an entirely new fact to me

it’s not the thought of role models,
of supporting people around me,
or even of my ideal reader
that helps me to focus and write more,

but the thought of my worst enemies,
the idea of leaving them baffled,
of deafeating them

thinking that my enemies
give me such a strength
as I would never get by myself
: that’s a refreshing thought!

perhaps
friends are there for support
and enemies for leaps of faith:
they push me beyond myself

there’s so much energy in my rage, so much determination, such a clear view:
I don’t want all this to get lost.

I am not interested in expressing my rage, or in channeling it, or in controlling it. No need for that, really, it’s only a mental activity anyway, never becomes even verbal.

But I want to take the best out of it, because when I’m full of rage I suddenly see what I need to do, how I need to behave, what I cannot accept from others, and how I am to treat them (no interest in revenge, only delusion perhaps). And apart from seeing it, I even have the courage to pursue all this.