hold my tongue, bit my lip and have patience

..but I think I’ve finally learnt not to speak before I think. :)

..eventually. I had a minor falling out with my boss. Not that he would noticed, since he probably thought he did me a favour by being kinda mean to me sometimes. I won’t go into the details here, but it’s good that I’m going away for a while. Need to clear the air and my head. We’ll see if absence makes this tiff go away.

I am on the bus, otw to the team building location. Minor hiccups qere and thr but we’re on our way. I am trying my level best not to be too bothered by the whiny comments made by some of the guys. I cant let slip just how hard it is not to take offence coz if i do, things may get ugly. Time to tap on my inner calm, whats left of it.

..just the night when I need to pay all my already overdue bills, the bleedin’ online banking thing is suffering all sorts of technical glitches.

Talk about pissing off Mr Murphy and his soddin’ law!

..someone pissed me off badly today.

The day saw me managing two separate incidents where both persons cried. With one of the two, I lashed out like there was no tomorrow. I believed it was justified.

The other incident, my words end up hurting the other party, albeit unintentionally. I apologised but I can empathise why she felt that way, hearing me say those words. It was just an analogy, but she kinda took it personally. This incident did not involve any anger, but equally delicate nonetheless.

Seems like I was at the receiving end of some megadose PMS offloading today. Sigh.. the things I do to make a living..

..sometimes the only thing that prevents me from strangling my co-workers is the compulsive need to just get the freakin’ job done.

^{But the thought is nonetheless somewhat satisfying..}

^{Yes, going through salary increment process has that effect on some people..}

where does it begin
this resentment that snowballs
then threatens to bury me
six-feet deep underneath
where did this come from
like a silent plague
this feud fell upon us
and slowly we rot
where do i turn to
when you can’t even look at me
or say a kind word
not even silence
can make it better
where does it end
when i can’t say i’m sorry
and you seem to remain angry
no words can ever mend
the rift that divides us
the anger that consumes us
the apology that will not come
maybe it’s true
i fail you many times
but each time i do
it gets harder to go back
and i am one step closer
to giving up trying.

As usual, patience is a virtue I do not have.

But I got to hold my tongue better than usual today. And instead, I channelled all my cusses via the Samuel L Jackson Soundboard. One of the niftiest piece of application I’ve seen to date. Seriously..

If anyone wants this (esp big fans of Pulp Fiction), send me your email via 43P and I’ll happily share this with you ;)

..when one is eyeball deep in work. Put your head down, keep your mouth shut and just do it.

:)