be satisfied

There are times where I’m not satisfied with what I’ve made or wtever. I think it demolishes my self confident. So I want to become more satisfied with what I accomplish and feel contented.

Well, I’m pretty happy at the moment. Not really sure why… I’m looking forward to going home and I’m also having an awesome time in China so I don’t want to leave. Balances out I guess. I just feel kind of peaceful, I don’t want anything right now.

I made a list today of things that make me happy:

Reading
Watching good movies
Walking in the mountains or next to rivers
Dancing to good music
Playing magic and drinking wine with friends
Throwing parties
Going for coffee and chats
Buying pretty shoes
Enjoying music
Trying new things
Going out for meals
Being healthy
Meeting new people

It’s only things that I really enjoy doing, not specfic things that I want to improve or learn. Sometimes those things are connected, but I didn’t want to write any goals.
I realised that I can have all of these things, I don’t need to run around looking for some perfect life or trying to be perfect at everything.

It put things into perspective a little bit…

This one isn’t going so well. I want to do everythign and expect myself to be perfect so how can I feel satisfied?
I feel for one small thing I acheive that I can do in one day, there’s a million other things I didn’t do, or it just raised the bar.
I had a weekend of relaxing, until today where I just felt like I hand’t acheived anything had to keep trying.
When I’m doing something, I expect it to already be done by default.
I should have already lost the weight I want to, be fit, be able to play guitar, have finished all my work, have finsihed writing my book and done all of my game acheivements.
I do usually enjoy doing exercise, trying to learn the guitar, (ok i don;t like work stuff), writing my book and playing games. I just don’t know how to focus more on the doing and less on the goals.

Today, I decided not to make myself to anything (except go to work of course).
I slept when I wented, spent my time as I felt like and ate what I wanted. It went ok….

I know the only way to be satisfied is through Christ Jesus who died for my sins and placed His righteousness on me; nothing I do can satisfy the whole in my life that only Christ can fill.

But it’s so hard to be satisfied and joyful right now.

Is this really possible?

I can recall not so long ago feeling completely unsatisfied with practically every aspect of my life. Upon reflection I have realised that right at the moment (I can’t speak for tomorrow) I feel completely satified.

Wow. This feels great. Here’s the key players:

Self – developing (an everlasting but rewarding task), self-esteem taking shape, fun AND functional.

Marriage – coming on in leaps and bounds. Conflicts seem resolvable, hubby lovable and partnership successful.

Family & friends – Meeting needs and needs being met. My children give me the deepest sense of satisfaction. Some fine tuning needed but overall moving in the righ direction.

Health/body image – I can’t say I’m satisfied with this area but I am satisfied with my mindstate. I want to stay in the place – aiming for health and happiness. Not extremes.

Work – Being on maternity leave has increased my awareness of the aspects of my work I miss. I am happy with my chosen career. For now.

I can’t quite figure out how I got here. Perhaps therapy, maybe age, possibly being off work? I just hope I’m not having a one off good day!!!

I am 52 years old , married with two married children , 3 grands. You would think looking at my life from the outside that I had it made. My husband owns a Sporting Goods Store and I stay at home most of the time trying to figure what I am going to be when I grow up. No kiddin! I can’t seem to find anything that makes me feel better about myself. I have tried going to the gym, bought a fabulous horse, kennel full of nice dogs, live in the country, etc. You would think I would be happy and content just to be a wife and mother, but for years I have been depressed. Doctor says its chemical imbalance, medications don’t help much. I am very artistically inclined but can’t seem to make any money with my art.If I had it all to do over again I would have stayed in College longer and gotten a good degree. Then maybe I would be in a profession that wold make me feel better about myself. My self-esteem is at an all time low and I don’t understand why. I have a great husband and good friends but something just keeps me in the pit of despair. I have read countless books over the years and nothing has helped. If you have any ideas please suggest them I feel like I am at my witts end….
knlboss@aol.com

For so long almost every part of my life has felt unsatisfactory.

However much weight I lost, it wasn’t enough. I never look the way I want. My relationships with family and friends never feel intimate enough. I don’t earn enough…write enough…phone enough…clean enough…the list keeps going.

I want to feel satisfied with what I’ve got and to stop feeling that nothing is enough. I know the key is to be satisfied with myself internally and I will start to feel satisfied with external things…I’m just not sure how.

It just seems that I can’t be happy with what I have I just keep looking for more and really like when its gone then I finally relize what I had and would do anything to have it back.