find me

peace, love, and happiness.

and hope. compassion. <3.

photography, sun, sex and the city, delicious food, drinks, paintings, walks, organizing, friends, fashion, cool air, scarves, cleanliness, music from around the world, scents, travel, foreign cultures, my culture, indy shops, film, lists, moisturizer, lost, color, fireplaces and rain, sweats, bookstores, flowers…

and so much more.

my dream night = tea, movies, sweats, fireplace

my dream night out = dinner, coffee, movie or cafe

I was in my theripist office today we figured out that me core feeling is that i’m worthless or not worth being loved never though of that but i realize it’s true i put up so many walls for fear of rejection

Find who i am?

First of all I need to confess that this is the first time I have ever ‘blogged’ and I’m not good at putting myself out there for everyone to see and comment on!!

So maybe I’ve already made the first step in finding me!

This is the first thing on my list. I’ve got lots of things to add to it but they will mainly be aimed at this one thing. I want to be able to know if I’m doing something because I realy want to or just because I want people to think that I want to.

Can anyone relate or help?

ponder-ous..
personal..
true.

Where is the adventure? Where are the moments that we feel..challenged..lovely..intrigued(ing)? For me, it was in travel..after my undergrad..it was everything-dancing on bars..passing borders controlled by cartel soliders..wealthy play boys lingering on my every word..traffic stopping to watch my friends and I cross a street..and the flowers..did i mention the flowers..
Enter- the present. Happy-yes..I am..However..
No adventure..little challenge..a comfortablility..perhaps of the worst sort. There are glimmers..friends that are like minded..remind me what it is to breathe in color again. Maybe..I can find the way back to what I used to be..with something I wasn’t ever..added.

“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you’re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I’ve got a few missing. It’s ok though, because I’ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who’s an 8-color type.. I’m like, “hey girl, magenta!” and she’s like, “oh, you mean purple!” and she goes off on her purple thing, and I’m like, “no – I want magenta!””

I would like to strike up more tennis matches with friends who play – anyone interested?