stop looking to others for reassurance of my decisions

i feel like oatmeal 2night…why? Around me i was surrounded by people who freely spoke from their heart, i felt like a smiling empty shell that contributed nothing because im not really connected to that passion….i won’t allow myself to be

I was told that I have a real problem with men. That I always chase them away when they are about to ask me out for dinner or a movie…etc.
I do not want to seem desperate so I try not to come off as too eager. do they misinterpret this as not eager enough?
Well, I am looking for reassurance when it comes to what I did concerning getting a date and how I did or did not handle it.

i broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago, but we’ve been in that weird in between stage of together and not together. we’re trying to be friends, but there is animosity and love mixed up together. the other night i was going to invite him over for dinner (and whatever may follow) but realized that it was probably a bad idea and would only make our transition even harder. my horoscope said basically that i need to learn from past mistakes rather than continuing to make them over and over. when i got home i had 5 emails from my ex ranging from “you treat me like shit i hate you” to “why can’t we be friends and be cool? stop being a bitch”. THANK GOD i followed my gut and decided not to invite that little weasel over!

This goal has been on my list for two years and i finally accomplished it. I learned about myself in the process and learned to trust myself a little more. At the same time, i did listen to what others had to say but i ultimately I made the final decision. I know do not need to feel as though what i am doing is right based on what other people say.

Why did I feel disappointed and disheartened when my friend called me to say that we could not meet.

Because she is the only person with whom I can share the hell of the marriage I am going through. Because I felt I need support, but why do I need support, am I mentally disabled, cant I think for myself. Dont I have the ability to distinguish abuse from the regular marriage disagreements.

I will admit that I cried after her call. I so look forward to talk and share with her. She is good at giving me courage and perspective. But I realise maybe she thought I was not a good influence on her marriage or her mental well being since she is pregnant. Or she she scare of my crazy STBX calling her in dead of night, how he calls my family.

But in this age people are uncomfortable being themself in person, we are more comfortable being ourself on the internet. Its time now to stop looking at my friend for reassurance of my decisions.

Why do I need other people reassurance of my decisions? only I know what are my circumstances/situations, only I can be the best judge of it.

I feel as though i am one step closer to completing this goal. There are have been some recent problems involving child support between my parents and it’s a big mess. Even though it is about me, my father doesn’t put my opinion into it. I decided to just tell him what i feel without any one approving if what i was telling him was right, fair, or even sane. I feel proud because even though he didn’t listen, i did tell him how i though the situation should be handled. According to him “i am just a little girl that doesn’t know the situation well enough” but i think he will always see me that way.

Its not that I am on a constant quest for the approval of others but its my indecisiveness that puts me in that spot…makes me dependent on others for their input on what I should buy, and all of that. The other reason is that Im scared thay my decisions may have negative repercussions and if somebody made the decision for me then if anything went wrong they’d be to blame!

for so long, i had been worrying about how my decisions would affect other people. i worried more about others than i did myself. one day, i stopped and realized, it’s my life, i don’t need to live it for others. i need to do what makes me happy, not others. i have lived happier ever since then. :o)

Live for Jesus Christ