find true love

I am so “not well” I totally like this guy (a bit of a weird situation but nonetheless I do) he has the sweetest personality ever and I really like the way he does things.. but I am so shy it’s driving me nuts… well I think rejection has to do a lot with it but being shy first… I don’t know what my problem is… I’d like to just tell him that I love his voice and find it so soothing… how I like his mannerisms, so humble how I like his laugh it’s cute very dorky but cute… I like that he’s active and proactive… I don’t think I’ll ever get to this point though… Lord help me to not be shy… I just want him to know, even if nothing comes about… his Mother definitely did a great job raising him… His looks yeah super cute but it’s more than that…

as i want a new man/bf in my life right now, i know right now is not the right time for me to be getting in a relationship with anyone.

and im making that a choice, its not cos i dont have a choice. all the men in my life currently are just friends and thats good enough for me cos i do like male company and my male friendships.

i think till the rest of this year is finished, i need to focus completely on work/career stuff and my lifestyle.

in 2010, i will start the attempt at finding a potential mate again

i was originally going to write “fall in love”, but that’s kinda one-sided.

i dont even think about love that much these days. im gonna just enjoy my weekend with my friend in italy. there will be a bit of lust there no doubt.

i dont have any strong feelings for anyone at the moment. maybe a little for my friend/ex that im seeing this weekend in italy, but also cos i know we will get intimate and we both looking forward to that amongst all the other things.

i have another guy who wants to potentially meet up with me from that dating site. so told him maybe the weekend after i get back.
sigh… to be honest im not that attracted to his pics… not a good sign but he lives near by and seems sweet. (didnt i say something like that the last time???) i just hope i dont feel like i felt the last time with the saffa guy.

i think after i meet that guy… whenever… i think i need to start listening to my gut instinct more often… but i havent met the guy… so will give him the benefit of the doubt… thats what i said last time too…

sigh… i can guess where this one is heading… but it was his sugesstion we meet soon as to see if there was anything there instead wasting time sending emails or whatever and i agreed… so hes like me i guess… he knows what this online dating malarky is about.

well my gut insticnt is saying he prob isnt the one based on pics and the fact he has 2 kids (which ideally i would rather he didnt, but i wouldnt not date someone cos of it… my ex had a daughter who lived with him)

well we shall see how this one turns out… if it doesnt turn out so great… im gonna start listening to my gut instinct in future and not agree to go on dates with men… where im not sure about it…

other than that… love dont live here anymore… just lust… this weekend… :p

Someday…

if u think am the one 4 u let me know at 6472 444966

that i hate being single. ive only been single for just over 3 months and it sucks. hate being alone.

looking for love is not easy. if u find it, treasure it, look after it and dont take it for granted. u will miss it when its gone.

thats the lesson i learnt from my ex and being single.

tell my saffa friend that im only interested in being friends, cos i think he really liked me. and wanted to know how i felt. ive actually lost count of the number of texts and phonecalls i have recieved since the date over these 2 days. ive now resorted to swearing everytime my phone goes off, cos its usually him.

but he knows now, but still wants to be friends in future. and he told me also that he could tell i was uncomfortable with him holding my hand etc. anyway he is being deployed to afgan next week for 3 months, but says he would like to see me again when he gets back. sigh i will do it but he has to understand i am not interested. i have no attraction to him. and if im honest even the friendship chemistry isnt working for me, it feels like hard work just making conversation with him sometimes. but i dont know. when he comes back we can get together again, if he wants, but no funny business. i am not interested.