find true love

i told him i love him
alot
so much
i would do anything for him
he said he cant help it. cuz he already has a gf and he is commited to her …... Wat am i suppose to do ?? i told him how i felt he said he respect my feelings but he cant do anything about it..
now i stand alone.. i have no idea wat i shuld do.. i luv him sooo much. he is my first love.!!! :’(

Even thought some part of me doesn’t believe true love does exist, I want to find it because another part of me knows it will make me feel as anything could ever make me feel. It might be just publicity or media which has me thinking like this, but… yeah, who cares? i want to find true love. But i won’t try hard, i won’t even try, so that wouldn’t make it a goal.

My first love was my best friend, who dumped me for another. It hurt so much. It’ll be a year soon, and I’m still healing from the pain. I’m at the point where I’ve given up searching for love, and relenting to the fact that if it’ll come, it’ll come—and if it doesn’t, then it simply doesn’t.

I am very pikish when it comes to finding a partner, I dont think the once in my town are atractive, and once I finally see someone i like they are taken. I know I havend tried hard because I dident care enough, i think i should leave town to find it.

I hate step one, I hate not knowing if there’s going to be something more than flirting. I hate not being in control.

So will I ever be able to be happilly in love unless I let go and accept that I can’t control it? Most certainly not.

I guess admitting your weaknesses is a start. I am totally aware of the problem, but have absolutely no idea how to change my behaviour and thought process.

I’ve tried to think positively, rationally and not thinking at all. No luck in that. I always fall back in the coma, thinking of all the possibilities and situations that might occure and how I would handle them. But those situations never happen, there’s always something I didn’t expect and there I am afterwards thinking I should have behaved differently. ‘I shouldn’t have kissed him’, ‘I should have confronted him’, ‘Why did I say that?’ and so on.

Perhaps it has more to do with me not trusting my instincts and trusting myself to handle the right way in unprepared situations. Oh my, I’ll just go back and continue with the love-my-self-goal, seems to be the main issue here.

My friends and I have our own kind of measurement when it comes to love.

Step 0: you have met, but technically you’re still friends since “nothing” has happened.
Step 1: You’ve passed the friendship-line, but you have no idea what is going to happen next.
Step 2: You’re officially a couple
Step 3: Engagement or any other for-the-rest-of-our-life-indication.

And of course there are no restrictions for how long a step can last. For example: my friend and her ‘man’ has been stuck in step 1 for a year ‘cause nither of them know what they want.

I, on the other hand, have now reached step 1 (again..) with this guy and desperately want to get to step 2, but don’t know how. It’s a really complicated story. I HATE not knowing what’s going to happen next.

It has been so refreshing, being in another country, for a couple of reasons. One of the reasons were to get some distance from all the love-complications, to really get a vacation from heartbreak, to be able to heal while being busy doing other things.

I went to Italy with my best friend and it was great, exactly what I needed. And when it comes to guys, I’ve never felt more appreciated. Okey, all the flirting was pretty unserious, but the point is that I got actual compliments. They also assumed you already had a boyfriend and did not understand how you couldn’t.

At home love is a game, where the one who says ‘I like you’ first has lost and then the other one is in control. You never show openly that you’re interested, which makes it so hard to know. At home a guy has never complimented me directly. I believe it’s a cultural thing. I guess that’s why it’s so hard to start a relationship. It’s not just me, practically all of my friends are single as well, even though they would be any guys dream – intelligent and beautiful, mature and funny.

I’m going to miss Italy – I felt so confident over there.

FIND ME

shes soooo beautiful …
everything she does is amazing,
i always thought that i’d experienced true love before but in reality what i thought was real wasnt even close
i know you probably think im a guy,
well im not
im bisexual / bicurious and im in love with laura (as my name suggests)
shes utterly awesome x

it’s hard