Start paying attention again to the little things that make life beautiful

There are so many nights lately that I’ve looked up at the sky and gently caught my breath. The moon is so beautiful. Last night it hung so low in the sky that it almost seemed like someone could just climb up a streetlight and hop on it. It was this intense rusty orange-red-brown color and in the shape of a nice, thick sliver of melon.

Something happened and I started wondering – was it a coincidence, was it luck or was it a miracle. The very first thought I had was “it’s a miracle”. So I guess it was. This morning I took Vicky to the daycare and then I had to go to some office to find out who exactly can help me and give me a referal that i need to represent by the 22nd in order Vicky’s day care service not to be terminated. I was told yesterday I need to go to the receptionist and ask them to direct me to someone, so her case could be reopen and I could get the referal. So I was there at 9am. The receptionist showed up at 10am. I was waiting and thinking of all the other BS I have to deal with, feeling like I’m in the corner with no way out (even thoug I know from an experience there is always way out). I was just desperate. And on the top of everything – the daycare service…. So I was waiting already for like 30 minutes, thinking okay – I’ll find a way to get the letter nomatter what, but my mind was occupied with money problems (big, huge money problems) and thinking that she might drop off the daycare and would have to stay home with me, meaning I’m stuck with her… what am I going to do. And the payment I had to make today… the earliest I would get _some money is early next week. (hopefully) and I felt so miserable and almost feeling like crying, all by myself in some hallway waiting for someone to show up and give me an advice…. and then this lady who was supposed to clear some mess with checks issued on the wrong name and got all the wrong checks so they can cancel them and issue new ones more than 2 weeks ago (and I was almost positive that it would take months before this is straightened up, if… at all) called me at 9:30 to tell me the checks was issued and I could go pick them up. It was a miracle. I am not religious, even though I was baptised (when I was 20), but last night I prayed for something to happen(And I know George did as well thank you, George), so we could survive somehow. A miracle, something, anything… and it happened today. And for the first time in my life, today, I was convinced – there is God and he made it happen for me, when I most needed it. I am grateful for this. Not that my life is much more easier now, but at least I have one problem less. Til next time. And the daycare thing…. nobody knows anything. They keep passing me like a ball to each other and everybody says I should talk to the other one. Tuesday morning I have to start it all over again and see if I can find a solution. I have 2 days to get this referal, so I can give it Thursday morning. If not… then I’m totally fucked up. And I don’t know what am I goign to do… well I hope for the best. I am still very optimistic about this. It is up to me to get it somehow. From someone. I told Vicky’s physical therapist today and she gave me the phone number of the coordinator of the program she’s in, I left a message and I hope she could give me an advise. The problem is – I don;t know who to contact, and it seems noone else knows. So.. I’ll try to clear my head of the bad thoughts and all the worries (as much as possible) and enjoy the day with Vicky tomorrow. If the weather is nice, I’ll take her to the park or somewhere she could have fun. At least she does not understand anything and she is so joyful.
I know this does not exactly fit in here (I mean the goal) but I did not know where else to put it….

coming through the open window. It is cold outside and its dark. And cold night air smells so good.
It is 2:15am right now. I’m still up. Not sleepy at all. And after I opened the window I just knew tomorrow will be a great day. :)

A big thing – I’ve been here for.. what .. 4-5 months and just today I realized for real (I knew it before, otherwise I would not stick around, but it kind of was not on the top of my mind) – 43Things – great people. And I keep meeting new ones. You guys give me joy, and hope, and love and I hope I manage to do this for you as well. I really do
Love you very very much

Parker

I was outside just now and the moon caught my eye. It’s beautiful. and yet, I wonder how many nights I’ve let it slip down the horizon unnoticed?

She made it to 10
I have to start though, with ONE
And then she continues
TOOO

TEEE
FO
FI
SIX (this is her favorite, can;t wait to get to six)

NEI
EI
MAI

TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

:D

It is soooo cute

about to happen in the near future. The waiting and the butterflies I get form it. Oh its so nice. And we still do not have any snow. It is actually sunny and not that cold. I just love the SUN

And even though it was cold I felt good.

And I don’t know where to write this, so I’ll write it here. (please don’t think I’m starting to loose my mind) I managed to see my aura today. It was strange – I think the color was more green than yellow or blue. I can’t explain how I don’t know the exact color, but I was able to see it for seconds and then it would dissapear, and then I was able to see again. I guess I had such a strong desire to define the color, so i was loosing it all the time. I read today that small children and babies can see peoples auras. And if it is not a positive aura they cry. My daughter was a newborn and was screaming like crazy (and she was such a quite baby)everytime when someone with whom I am not friends anymore was entering the room she was. This kept going on for a few months. Now after I educated myself a little I have the explanation – my baby just did not like her aura. Aura changes colors when a person has certain thoughts or moods, or if sick. My grandma warned me a few times, but I did not listen to her. And I should have. Well nothing I can do. I can’t turn back time for sure. So I can tell you all – listen to your grandmothers, they know!
I will try in some time to see other peoples’ auras and see if I can do it.
I was just sharing thoughts. Thats all :)

I felt happy for no reason in particular. But just because. And most probably this was because of the small things, that I did not even notice, but they made me happy. How nice is that?
:D

I took my car back. It was very expensive :( but at least it was sunny + I got used to the idea of giving so much money to the marshal (not to him personally though) And I still don;t understand one thing – it is mean enogh of them towing nice peoples’ cars, but why should they be even more mean and put this huge sticker on the window with super extra super glue -and I have no idea how to remove it. Is there anyone experienced in the area, and how do I take it out. At the car wash they did not remove it :(