get in the Garden

I really need to work on this. My last post about the garden was 6 months ago saying that I was reading 10 chapters a day, and now I am doing good if I read 3. I’m working on this again.

being in the Garden. its so amazing to be able to spend time and pray, praise, read, stand in awe. wow!! i love my Garden time!

During my garden time I am reading my bible obviously. And for the longest time I was making sure to read 5 chapters every night. Well lately my goal is to read 10, so as Cameron once called it. I am doing my “then 10”. I have done it the past few days and it is amazing! I want to keep it up for sure.

i am getting a bit better. i was in the Garden a bit more this week than i have been in a while. i am trying really hard to have my time in the Garden before i go out and “play” with my friends. i know that it isnt easy to decline for invitations to do things, but i am doing ok. i have been trying to have my Time in the morning and then i can be out and do stuff. i love being in the Garden.

not as easy as some have been either but i am getting better. i set aside time for me to get in the Garden and someone somehow always tries to get me to do something else and im getting better at not letting them stop me.

i am not doing to well this week. this week it is actually bad. i cant concentrate. i need to work on this majorly.

Much better with this!

I have been doing much better with this, this weekend i had to work and that was hard but other than that im doing better

I was just praying to God and i wrote in my prayer journal, and it was something that i really felt like i should write on here.
Here it is as it was written (i dont use grammer rules with God):

Monday March 3rd
Lord God praise your Holy name! You are beautiful as I see you in all of your creations. I love you God and I love serving you. Before I found you I had nothing, absolutely nothing. Then all of the sudden I had everything I could ever want, and at first I appreciated it. The world was a completely different place. But I began to get used to my life with you. I began to get used to you. And slowly my excitement was overruled by my daily worldly issues. I never loved you any less but I stopped growing any farther in my love for you. That is where I am right now- stuck. I’m stuck and I can’t blame anything or anybody but myself. I do try to though. I try to blame work, school, everything. “If only I had more time…” I know even as I’m saying it that it is complete bogus! I have one true mission in this world- to make disciples for Christ. The status of my mission so far= not so good. To me that mission seems too big, scarry, and hard so instead I replace it with my own missions, small and simple. An everyday example: Christ’s mission- Go talk to that girl sitting alone over there- show her the love of Jesus. My sinful brain’s mission- go to my math lab early so that I can get caught up. Some how my mind wins. GETTING CAUGHT UP IN MATH CLASS WINS AGAINST PLANTING A SEED FOR ETERNAL SALVATION! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN? But then I look back and think to last time that i spent more than 15 consecutive minutes with you… Does tuesday night prayer count? I disgust myself, I live here in a country where i am free to worship my Lord whenever, wherever, and however I feel and I wait until tuesday night to whisper up my prayers! I don’t understand why you haven’t struck me down yet! No, instead I come to you and cry out my appoligies to you and some how you accept them. It’s something I don’t understand. I think you know God that I wnat nothing more than to please you, nothing more than to hear the words “well done my good and faithful servant” All my other goals in my life are truly worthless. The things I value, my popularity, my vanity, not only worthless but disgusting in comparision. I must change my mindset. I must not just settle with reading my Bible everyday, i accomplished that goal 2 years ago. A new goal has been long past due. I must continue to grow because without growth eventually I will fall and backslide and maybe even turn my back to the one I love most in my life. I can’t ever see myself doing it, but im sure that the pepole who have done it didnt see it coming. So tonight I come to you with more appoligies and with yet another attempt to do better, to be better. I come to you with a new fire cupped in my hands. So far the wind has won each time but this time I have to believe will be the time that the fire finally makes it and that it will spread and grow and that in a few months from now I will have a new bigger struggle to bring before you an dthat I will be able to look back at my victory in this stuggle to gain my strength for the next one.

I think the reason that I felt i should post this is for you to keep me accountable, so i ask that you would please keep me accountable for this.

I have been doing ok with this, but ok is not good enough.