keep a gratitude journal

read an entire graphic novel tonight – black hole by charles burns. it was really good. dark and creepy and sad, but all in a good way.

the office. what a funny show.

got through another really long monday.

pbj sandwich. for the first time in forever. so classic! so yummy!

This is a great exercise for a person like me, who tends to be ridiculously pessimistic. I list five things every day (for the last few days, anyway, since I started it), and already I feel like I’m repeating myself, but I still like the change in attitude it brings. It forces me to think positively. =) I’ll check this off as complete if I can keep it up through Christmas without missing too many days. =)

1. A little kid that gently urged me to slow down and play. I have practiced blowing gigantic bubbles in one of the exhibits so I’m pretty successful with it. The bubbles are about 30” in diameter mostly. He is 2yrs old and just huge so people think he’s older. He is still a toddler but the folks that care for him have done such a great job that he shares and is really kind as well as goofy. He’s my favorite.

2. A sweet little girl with her doll named”Walter” after the dog in the book “Walter the Farting Dog”.

3. A moment of inner strength and integrity that helped me be honest instead of being a doormat.

4. My daughters help with my sore knee.

5. My grandsons and their good hearts. Granddaughter too.

i took the mpre and might have passed, maybe. i almost didn’t make it because my shower that morning was too long. couldn’t seem to conjure the sense of urgency i maybe should have had. no matter. i made it on time and i did how i did. cool.

i made an impromptu birthday card for the cycling guy and it turned out awesome. a really pretty piece of sloppy, handmade artwork. :)

caught up with an old college friend. we go way back and had so many adventures together, but we hadn’t spoken for about a year. so we caught up today. the sister love is still there. <3

options. it’s good to have options. i still can’t figure out cycling guy. is he jerking me around or what? if he is, is he doing it because he thinks i like it? and do i? my attraction to him is intense and insane. i think it’s that he’s tripping on his larger-than-life personal power and i start tripping on it too. our interaction reminded me too much of my last boyfriend – the power play, the hot/cold confusion. i loved that guy more than any other and the heartbreak was just as grand. as much as i really like this guy, i can’t help but see disaster in his shadow. so after an evening of getting jerked around by him, i called the young designer. we met up late. he was kind, fun, easy-going, so pretty, and just easy. we finally kissed. it was not as heart-racing as with the other guy, but it was nice and gratifying after all the chatting and dancing and late-night story-exchanging. he wanted to stay the night, so we spooned all night and late into the morning. lovely. we’ll hang out again this week. yes, it’s nice to have options.

Slept in beautifully today. Didn’t get up til well past noon. :)
When I placed my daily morning call to Jackie, Erik answered the phone with “Hi Tina. I love you”. I’m so happy that he’s warmed back up to me. After I left Atlanta, he quickly forgot that we used to be buds. (I can forgive him though. He was barely a year old when I left..)

Kelly was calm enough to actually talk to me today. I’m so grateful that she’s FINALLY decided to let me help. And she’s more excited than I’ve seen her in a while. It’s easy to see how badly she’s wanted this. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it all turns out the way she hopes.

This coming Wednesday is Veteran’s Day, which means that I’ll get my check a day early. Which works out fantastically, as I’ll be able to buy the drafting table I’ve got my eye on. :) Hooray!

And Thank Goodness it’s Friday!!! I’m so ready for the weekend. Work has been INSANE tonight, crazy people, crazy problems, and one heart-breaking call from the Lakeland PD. Even with all that, I can be grateful for the family members who call just to say thank you. The wife who called and told me she just had nobody she could talk to, would I mind listening for awhile? (She was very funny, and I enjoyed our conversation) I love that when a family member needs to vent, my job is flexible enough that I can lend them an ear-as long as they don’t mind being put on hold in case emergency calls come through.I do love Hospice. Best job I’ve ever had. :)

i actually managed to study after dinner. after a long day, i usually i throw in the towel by 8 or earlier, but this is how i will get things done.

lunch with j.c.

chatting with e.c. i like that she calls me when she needs cheering up.

wu warming my lap.

my apartment. it feels so cozy to me.

chatting with my mom online. she’s deaf, so it’s much easier than talking on the phone. far less stress!

that cycling guy is as busy as i am. he canceled a date because he was swamped but was convincingly apologetic. even though i completely understand, i appreciate that he recognized how that might annoy me. maybe i’ll see him saturday.

I’m grateful that Tracy has started posting pictures of Gran and Papa Bill on the family site. This way the whole family gets to enjoy them, instead of someone just leaving them in a photo album somewhere. This is one of my favorites of them. Their engagement picture. They sent this out as announcements. :) Beautiful, huh?

I love Jeff. He works for a temp agency that we use for cc nurses when we’re short staffed. He is gay and lives with our other contact from that agency, and he makes me laugh even when work is driving me crazy. He made a point of leaving me a cheery message for Bev to give me when I got in to work tonight. :) GREAT guy.

I got to talk a bit to Kelly this evening. She has been really short with me lately, and is in one of her “moods”, so it’s not been pleasant talking to her much. But I needed some help with that math packet, and she (and everyone else at Mom’s) racked their brains to help me remember. I’m grateful for their help, and the confidence it gave me. :)

I’m grateful for the people I work with, who are always willing to help out when I’m 10 cents short of a caffeine fix! haha

There’s not a single thing left to cross of my to-do list for today. I really took care of business!! Thank Heaven for motivation!! Hahaha

k.c. visited me. we had a lot of fun. she is such a lovely and intriguing character.

i finally got raisins after forgetting to buy them week after week.

costumes, going all out and creative!

beats. moving to beats.

food. i love food. i could eat it and talk about it all day.

I had such a great day today. I woke up at a decent time, feeling rested and ready to go. Made a couple phone calls (it’s a little lonely living alone so far from family.. I like to keep in touch), had breakfast, showered, and tried to psych myself up for school.

It was cool and gorgeous out today. Sunny enough to be beautiful, but not hot at all. Breezy and nice. Great weather for driving around with the windows down.
I got to the school, turned in some paperwork, filled out some more, spoke to a couple people, and bippity-boppity-boo, I had a student ID number, and now I’m in!!!
I have another test to take 1st thing in the morning, and I’m a little nervous about the math part (I haven’t taken a math class in almost 7 years), but I’m confident that it’ll all go smoothly.

It feels so good to be taking control of this situation. I’ve wanted to be back in school for ages now. I’m so grateful to Americorps for the Ed Award I received when I completed my service term, and to the school for knowing how to bill the National Service Trust for my tuition.
I’m thankful that my prayers last night for courage and smooth sailing were answered today. :)
I feel great!