complete rockford masters commission

This is it. I leave for my mission trip in about an hour.
Chi-town here I come!

please.pray

I leave for my mission trip to Chi-town next week, Lord willing.
Please pray for me and the whole team. Pray that we go on this trip because we love people, not the other way around. Just pray that God has His hand in our own hearts and carries us through the city. Just keep us all in prayer.
Thanks.

Yesterday was my last academics class where we actually went over a book. Today was my last graded scripture study test.
That’s so weird. These weren’t sentimental classes at all, or even surreal. I have a LOT of Master’s left. There was no hype at all about it being the last class and test, like there was in high school. My last test in high school felt weird. It was a history test. I had to write a one page essay about the holocaust after reading a book called “Dark”.
These classes, though, just seemed routine.
So that’s that.
Cool!

Well it’s April! Two and a half months left! We all got our letters on Friday that said whether or not we were accepted for next year, if we filled out an application. I actually filled out a Future Outlook form which was the alternative to an application. My letter consisted of them saying they supported my decision to move on and they’re really excited to see where I go from RMC. SO it’s nice to know that God hasn’t put up any red flags about me deciding not to come back next year.
Like I said, 2 1/2 months to go. That’s really exciting and really scary at the same time. Exciting because I can’t wait to be home again. I can’t wait to be with everyone. I’m really anxious to get home actually. I’m really excited for this summer. I’m hoping it’ll be the best one of my life. But I don’t want to get too anxious. Yeah there’s only 2 months but that’s still two months. I’ve grown and changed a lot over the bast 7 months for sure. But there is still a lot of growth I need and a lot of things I need to change. There’s areas whee I’d like to grow in even before I go in
So I’ve been praying about these next two months and I ask that your pray with me. Pray that God pushes me beyond my limits. I want God to push me beyond what I am capable of so that I have to rely completely on Him. I pray that any vital growth and changes will take place in these two months. I pray that He will solidify the changes and growth that have already taken place. I pray that my feet will be planted firmly in truth. I really want these next two months to be the most impacting. I know that means they’d be the hardest. So also pray that when I get tired and frustrated and mad and want it all to be over, that God will remind me that this is what it takes to change. I pray that it will always be on my mind that what I’m going through is for my benefit.

So be prayerful and be patient.
thanks so much

I’m almost done! I have about 3 1/2 month left and apparently they’re gonna fly by…for me at least. This next week we have the MC from Belgium staying with us. Go figure. And this next weekend is Experience. So all that added excitement should make this week go by fast. Oh yeah and we have home-opener appreciation day tomorrow…ugh. Anyway, then in two weeks we have the Original Women’s Conference. I’ll be running tech for that too. Plus there’s tons of prep the whole week before that. So that week will go by fast. So that covers most of March and April. Then May is my missions trip to Chi-town. Prep and everything for that pretty much covers that month. Then it’s June which is the last 1/2 month of Masters!!
So yeah, that’s pretty great!
Let’s have a huge party when I get back.

I have some esplainin to do! If you haven’t noticed, several of my recent posts have had a negative sort of feel to them. There’s a lot of complaining and me grumbling about how uncomfortable I am. First I have to say that this is wrong of me. God says to do all things without grumbling and complaining. But I want to take the time to explain why I’ve been complaining so much. It’s because I’m growing exponentially!!!! That’s why I don’t want anyone to think I’m going downhill in my faith. I don’t want anyone to think “What happened to the Ethan that used to be zealous and cheerful and used to be so eager to share the good things of Christ? Who is this Ethan that only complains and talk about how his life sucks and he wants to go home?”
Well, please do not let your hearts be troubled. I am the same Ethan that delights in the things of the Lord! But I am becoming a new Ethan every day!
Think about it. What good would it be if I came to Masters and didn’t change at all. What if I gave 9 months of my life to trying to find God and find out who He wants me to be and then…didn’t? What if my life stayed perfect and I was not stretched? But I tell you that I am changing! If I would have never come to Masters, I am convinced that I would not have been stretched in the ways and to the extent that I have been. And that’s not a condemning statement to the people back home! Not at all! There are just some things that I needed to come to grips with and it wasn’t going to happen in the comfort of home.
Please take my complaining and my struggles to heart and take them as proof that I am changing into the person God created me to be. Growing hurts. That’s why I am so uncomfortable. It’s not because I’m giving up on God or I’m sick and tired of being a Christian. I’m giving up on my flesh and I’m sick and tired of being who I want to be.
I think God’s Word can explain this better than I can:
1 Peter 5:6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.

10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11 All power to him forever! Amen.

2 Cor. 3:18But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord(that is, in a clear mirror), are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

I was going to set another goal entitled “go home”, but that really fits into this goal. I really want to go home. I mean, I really want to stay here and complete what God has for me, and I will. But I really want to go home too. I want to love people back home who I’ve never loved before. I want to do things back home that I’ve never done before.
I think they call this feeling homesick. I’m physically sick right now. Well, I’m getting there. I’ve never been casually sick away from home before. I mean I’ve been on vacation and gotten nauseous and puked and all that fun stuff. But I’ve never gotten a cold where my face leaks all day and my head hurts and my body hurts and all I wanna do is lay in bed and mope around the house. But that’s the thing. I hate my bed here. I hate my house here. It’s not a place of comfort or rest or solace. It’s a place of learning and discipline and discomfort and trial. Who needs that when they’re sick? At least I can now afford to buy some medicine. At least I serve a good God. At least He loves me. At least He is my place of rest and comfort and solace. At least He is my home.
I feel like I’m floating between two worlds right now. There’s home, where I can’t be. Then there’s here, where I don’t want to be and have no intention of ever making this place home. I can’t be where I want to be and don’t want to be where I am.
But wherever I am, I am with God. THE God. The famous One. I’m with Him. Really, that’s where I want to be.
But if I’m going to be on this earth, I’d rather have it be comfortable. I rather have a warm climate with no rain or a cool climate with mountains. Illinois is the epitome of environment I hate: Hot as crap in the summer. Cold as crap in the winter. Rain and sleet and snow whenever the heck it feels like it. No mountains or bodies of water.
But God made this land. And it really is beautiful. The sunsets in Illinois are more colorful than any other place I’ve ever been. The sound of cicadas can actually be kind of relaxing at times. The rain can actually be a welcome relief to a scorching summer day with drenching humidity. Blizzards can be a beautiful relief from the dead of fall. Corn mazes are cool.
Who knows where my home will be someday? Perhaps I will be ‘mobile like the wind’. Who knows? Who cares? Can I by worrying add a hair to my head or a day to my life? Nope. So why bother trying.
How bout I just shut up and do my homework?

Really, I have 5ish months left. That seems like a long time. In a sense it is, but in another, not. This is one season of my life. A period of 9 months total, 5 remaining, in comparison to the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve even given up any opportunities in my real life back home. Maybe opportunities that I want for myself. But this is God’s will that I am here. I also believe it is God’s will for me to be a part of the church in Peru. I don’t think I had to sacrifice part of God’s will for me at home to fulfill a different part of His will here in Masters. I believe it is in God’s perfect will that I am participating in Masters and NOT doing things in the Illinois Valley at this point in time. There are things I want to do back home and still hope to do. Just because I’m not doing them right now, I don’t think that means it’s not God’s will. I think it just means I need to get myself ready for the rest of my life and when Masters is over, I can do the things back home that I want so badly to do. I don’t think it’s a matter of whether or not it’s God’s will, just a matter of His timing.

It’s not THAT long. I’ll keep telling myself that…

I can’t really say this will be easy, but I know already that I will not give up. I’ll see this through to the end. I have to do what I have to do, what HE has me to do, no matter the cost.