Develop an evening ritual

I can’t believe I’m having a road block to this – I need to figure out what other people do for a ritual!??? Calling all suggestions for what you do as an evening ritual – come on my 43T friends – what do you do before you go to bed each night?

THANKS!

The problem is I need a portable ritual – something I can do even if I’m at my Mother-in-laws or away on business. I’ll get cracking on that…

A big difference between Monday night and Tuesday night. Monday, I did the routine: legs up the wall yoga pose, no tea, but a glass of wine, then my husband read to me for 1/2 an hour from a book of essays we’ve both been looking forward to reading. I did the hand and foot massage and slept so so well.

Last night, it started by me skipping the yoga pose. I had the tea, but decided to watch a DVD on my computer in the bedroom, was up until midnight and couldn’t sleep. Got up at 5:30 this morning, feeling nowhere as good.

But it’s a start to have identified a ritual that feels good. Now the challenge is t stick with it.

I’ve been thinking that the key to a workable evening ritual is to keep it simple. This is what I’ve come up with:

Stop checking e-mail after 7 p.m.

An hour before bed, spend 10 minutes with my legs up the wall (restorative yoga pose)

Settle in with a cup of tea and read for half an hour, set an alarm so I don’t go over.
(Otherwise I’ll read until 2 a.m.)

Massage hands and feet with luxurious lotion.

Go to sleep.

Feels like a good plan. I’ll give it a go tonight and I’ll see how it plays in real life.

This was the goal that led me to 43things. It was the holidays and my brother had been killed in a car accident the week before Thanksgiving. I didn’t know up from down but I knew I was in a bad way. I was working hard at using yoga and meditation as tools for grieving, but there wasn’t a yoga class at midnight when the blues hit me like a truck and I felt so sad and lonely. I googled evening rituals and happened on 43things. I signed up and it’s been such a balm to my spirit ever since.

Tonight I realized that I’ve actually made progress on this goal. At the end of class, during sivasana, my yoga teacher often massages our shoulders or our feet with this amazing smelling lotion. I tried to hint, oh so casually, and sometimes not so casually, to my husband that I’d like a little massage in the evenings. He obliges when I ask (beg, cajole) but I didn’t want to have to ask. So I went out, got some nice lotion and now at night, before I go into bed, I rub lotion into my arms and into my feet. It takes all of about six minutes but it’s totally relaxing, totally self nurturing. I think I need a few more elements in my evening wind down, but this is a lovely start.

I’m a total stressball at the end of the night. I check e-mail too late. I watch TV. I drink wine. I’m developing a daily yoga practice, but I don’t do it right before bed because it feels like an anti-social thing to do with my fella around. But then he’s asleep and I’m wide awake, watching TV, thinking about how early I have to get up in the morning (5 a.m.)

I dream about doing a short yoga practice, listening to some relaxing music and falling blissfully asleep.

Seems so simple doesn’t it?