stop being a bitch

GREATTTT PROGRESSS on this goal, if i may say so myself. [[[:

i have not been a bitch!! like seriously! and doing very well at staying that way.

i really am doing well, i swear.

Recently, I have noticed myself bitching at other people frequently. To confirm my suspisions, I was told yesterday by someone that others percieved me as a bitch. My parents say I have an attitude problem that I need to fix. I didn’t make the competition cheerleading team at my school, even though I have more experience and more tumbling that most of the girls did make it, and I’m convinced it is because my cheer coach doesn’t like my personality. I’m sooooo ready to take this on!! My first goal is to not talk about anybody meanly behind their back for a WHOLE WEEK! wish me luck!

I’ve been through a lot recently, from personal to professional struggles…I didn’t realize how bitter I had become, and just how much it was affecting those around me. It’s imperativce that I change my attitude, but I need help.

i need to start being happy with myself. like genuinely..
like i’ve said before.. i just take it out on people, and thats why i am, or i come off as, such a bitch..

i was listening to theses cds today with my sister… like self help ones or something… and i am reading, well starting to, reading up on everything to help myself..

and i am not sure why i am going to my psychotherapist.. i am debating on making another appointment.. i will continue to go i think, but not as often.. maybe once a month…

i dont know.
this is going to take a lot of thinking..

I am a selfish bitch who always wants her own way. i am poisoning my 10 year old daughter against her father just because i want her to myself and don’t care about the hurt i am causing to my ex or my daughter. I am trying to get as much money out of him in the divorce case as i can even though i am living with a new man and denying it. I know my ex has very little money but i don’t care as it’s all me me me.

And it really makes me feel better about myself.

I’ve been unhappy for a long time and it made me bitter and bitchy. It’s really unattractive. Since I’ve been working on it I actually feel happier and I can tell the people around me are happier.

i fear i may have rubbed off on some people…

uh oh.

or maybe i am just blaming myself for other peoples immaturity…

honestly, i have been doing very well at this goal.

i know there is one person that would totally disagree with me, but if you knew the history between us then you would see why she says that…
she just takes everything i say the wrong way, on purpose, because we use to be really close, and we arent anymore, so i ended almost everything…

but i shouldnt be the one that gets put down all the time just because i am trying to put a serious stop to our old relationship.

soon enough it will be out of the way…hopefully.

tell her she looks nice.. hair, clothes, etc…
tell her you’ve been thinking about her…
do respond asap….

i think i am just really confused…
i don’t try to come off like this…
but it makes me nervous..

-i am insecure
-i am jealous
-i am misrable with my decisions.
-i am afraid to be happy
-i dont want to be like you.
or anyone else.

those are all that i have realized so far.