stop being a bitch

Mine mostly. I have been bitchy. I can blame tiredness, stress, University, and all the stuff that knocks me off my game, but the fact is that when it comes to opening my mouth I have a choice.

I’ve got to start making the right choices about what I say. Especially around the boyfriends uber-sensitive bestie.

He takes insults to heart. In all honesty I am mean to him. I guess I’m jealous of the amount of time he gets to spend with my boy. (They go to the same University and have classes together). Not only that but his way of saying things is so, infuriating. “well, theres a guy shortage at the moment, so a girl will have to lower her standards to like me.”

It provokes a bitchy response. Several. One night was especially bad. And he posted a blog about it instead of talking to me, just to let the world know i guess. No anonymity nothing. Shame it’s true or I’d sue him for libel. (kidding) I sent an apology and made a resolution.

From now own I will not let him get me down, I will be encouraging and complimentary.

At some point two years ago I became I total bitch and thought it was cool. It was totally not worth it. When you’re a bitch nobody likes you. The road to becoming a non-bitch is not hard, you usually realize that you have to stop being a bitch when you really hurt someone’s feelings close to you or you suddenly realize that you lost your best friend because you were such a bitch.
Basically just try to be nice to people and when you hear yourself starting to talk shit on someone, turn it around and say something nice about them, and eventually you will wean most of your bitchiness out of you.
But just remember: you always need a little bit of bitch in case anyone pisses you off!

i have the fucking right to be a bitch!

I give up…...lol

so i’ve basically been a huge bitch. i slept with my best friends ex boyfriend of 4 years who she practically almost married, less than a year after they broke up, not once but twice. the first time i felt awful. i was really drunk when it happened but the next morning he took me out to breakfast and i almost began to like him even though i knew he was an asshole. but i let him do that! like i secretly liked it, even though i knew it was awful. then i cam home and talked it over with my sister and she got me nervous that my best friend would find out, because others already knew. so i started to feel sooo guilty and i thought shit what if she finds out. but then weeks went by (about 4) and nothing happened and my fears subsided. I got drunk again with him at another party and he kissed me i told him no but then he was relentless and i just gave in. i didn’t feel the first gilt and she didn’t find out the first time so i just did ti again. but this time a lott of people found out because we left together and it was obvious. so the next morning i’m freaking out about her finding out, but its my fault. how could i do that!? i know truthfully though if i thought she would never find out i wouldn’t even feel bad. its terrible but when i’m truthful about it its true. i don’t want to be like this! where did all my morals and values go and value of friendship. i’m obviously not a very good friend. i truthfully dont know how to be one, i guess i’m just a selfish bitch. how do i stop! i need to turn my life around and go back to how i use to be before all this. i never use to be this person who slept around and backstabbed her friends. its not good. help!!

so this whole shit really started because of a guy.. and thats bull shit to me. so i needed to fix it, so i apologized to her… everything isnt completely better, but its hopefully getting there.
i dont want to loose any more friends.
so i am trying to be the good person and fix it.

i’m proud of what i am tryingggg to do.
but yeah.
..we’ll see.

so i have to admit i am very proud of myself…

for going to a party, and just having fun, and not letting the fact that there was this girl there that i really cant stand.
we both despise each other.
but we were still pleasant to each other, and i am just proud of my self for acting like that.

i could of been a bitch, and what not.
but in my effort of not being a bitch, i just have to let some things go.

and i will tell ya, it feels damn good.
[:

ok its not like i am bitch to everyone.

really its only my family, sometimes.
most of the time its only towards taylor.
and i dont even know why i am so mean, but like she just brings out the bitch in me… not so sure why.
maybe cause i am jealous, maybe i want her to be jealous, maybe i am upset cause its over, maybe i want her to live her life differently, or start spending time with me again, i dont really know… but its not a good enough reason whatever it is.

i am just tired of taking stuff out on her and there is no need for it anymore.

Well its not that I am a bitch but I find that sometimes I can be and I would like to be the one that isn’t classed as a bitch.

im dying for a boyfriend but im too much of a bitch so guys get turned off.