never get married

too many reasons to get into

I’ve become interested in this topic in the past few years and I’ve done a lot of research and thinking and arguing about it. I haven’t yet fully figured it out but I have a lot of thoughts about it.

First, when marriage was “invented”, people only lived until perhaps their 40’s, so “forever” wasn’t actually that long. According to evolutionary theory, humans did not evolve to love (although we are obviously capable of it), we evolved to procreate. Therefore I think the limiting nature of marriage goes against biology. In addition, our culture that looks down on divorce as something immoral is a big problem. Even if there are children involved, I think it’s best that the couple get divorced if they feel things aren’t working out.

Second, probably because of legal issues I’m not thinking about but also likely because of our very religious “family values”, it’s incredibly hard and expensive to get a divorce. If you’re realistic enough to realize that you may not be with someone forever, it’s practical to avoid marriage in order to avoid divorce.

Thirdly, weddings are an incredibly lucrative industry and still a sexist and racist institution, and we risk playing into this. Girls are still marketed to in order to make them desire “their special day” (a very expensive white wedding) from a very young age, and the market still plays heavily to white women. And seriously it’s just gross to see woman shoving that big rock in my face once they’re engaged – it’s materialistic in the silliest way – it’s not even useful!

Fourth and perhaps the most philosophical, why get married? What does marriage really mean? How does it change the relationship (besides all the legal benefits – by the way, why do married people get legal benefits? Why not couples living together?)? I know this isn’t universal, but it has always bothered me to see people get married because of a lack of trust, assuming that perhaps if the bonds are stronger, the other is less likely to stray. If you’re worried about that, why are you together? Similarly, I’d always assumed that getting married is like the final frontier – the step that says “I feel the most I can feel for you”, something that validates the relationship. I’ve come to think that this is complete crap. If you feel that your relationship isn’t good enough unless you’re married, your relationship isn’t good enough. What does marriage change in the relationship? Nothing. Right?

Lastly what’s the deal with the officialness of a wedding? Lets say my partner and me (together 5 years now) wanted to have a party celebrating our relationship, but didn’t want to have a wedding. Who would come to that? Everyone would probably think we were conceited or something, what’s so special about our relationship that they should fly 6000 miles and bring us gifts? Yet no one thinks twice when it’s a WEDDING. Weird huh?

Anyway I probably sound like an ass cause I get fired up about it. I think getting married is fine, but I am uninterested in engaging in it for political reasons.

but I just don’t. Enough said. Life is too short to restrict yourself to the cliches of marriage. If I do get married, I’m gonna have a damn awesome dress though. :)

And I know that. That’s why I hate it when people say, “Oh, you’ll change when you meet the right person.” Well, if he’s the right person, he will know I’ll never want to marry him and he’ll be cool with being my - lover. Yes, I said it - lover. And no, he won’t be moving in with me . My godmother will never have the chance to make “shackin’ up” provoked frowns of disapproval with her eyebrows. I don’t think the married are suckers or anything. But they seem to always have an agenda to prove to the world (me) that they didn’t get a raw deal: They are forever telling me how much I will “find the right person” and have a “family”, while whinning contradictorily about their spouse being “set in their ways” and their kids driving them to drink heavily. But what is a family really? I think a lifetime of friends and loving oneself enough to control one’s own destiny is all the family a person needs. Mr. Right will just have to agree to love me as long as he will and to leave me, baggage free with no divorce settlement to pay, the minute that he doesn’t.

id fucking stay with you forever

‘nuff said
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The idea of getting married scares me. I feel like when you’re in a regular relationship there’s always that option to break up with that person. So everyday you’re with them it’s because you want to be with them, it would be just as easy to leave the relationship as it would be to stay in it. But when you’re married that decision is already made for you and if you want to change it it’s a huge inconvenience which makes it more appealing to stay with someone you don’t want to be with anymore.

One, it’s of course, religious. And blatantly breaks the separation of religion and government, AND I’m an atheist anyway. Second, so long as same-sex couples can’t get married, marriage is useless to me anyway. Third, it’s just… I don’t know. Silly. Overrated. Typical.

Not anti-love, just don’t care for the whole marriage image. I’m not about to stop others from getting married, or yell at them for it, it’s just not for me.

My entire life, never married! Amazing!

This is either a goal you can say you’ve accomplished, or else, keep up as a reminder to never do. To ‘never do’ is not really a goal, so I thought I’d weigh in and go on my weigh. I would love to fall in love and live with someone and all that stuff, I just mostly think something like that doesn’t need promises since it needs a connection more.

or have kids. ever. freeddoooooomm

Kids can be fun but they’re also really heard work, and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to make that kind of commitment. I’d rather spend my life single (with a dog). That way, I can travel, focus on my career and my friends, and basically follow my own path. Besides, life is not fair, and I’d feel guilty if I brought another person into the world to suffer.