realizations.

Attitude is underrated. A little bit of attitude goes a long way in lifting a person’s spirit. Attitude inspires like no other…it stirs the butterflies that have been hanging upside-down like bats in the stomach’s cocoon…Attitude awakens the spirit and resolve…it resurrects hope and lights a fire underneath bottoms that have sat on solid surfaces for far too long. If I could buy a bottle of attitude, I would take a couple of big tablespoonfuls everyday.

A blog I read recently had some insightful suggestions on developing a strong attitude that I want to capture here:

Develop realistic, measurable, bite-size even babystep goals.

Take decisive actions, rather than detach yourself.

Surround yourself with encouragers – life is impossible if you journey through it alone.

Be an encourager – if you feel you don’t have anyone in your life, then go out and be a support to someone. It will return to you in ways you can’t possibly imagine.

Acknowledge your own strength and resourcefulness.

Maintain an optimistic outlook by visualizing a better future.

1. Babbling on (no need to over focus.)

2. Clinging to a topic like a drowning man. (move on)

3.Being negative and whiny. (please stop me if I do this)

4. Not listening (this is challenging to truly listen).

5. Thinking it’s all about me, me, me! (It’s not; actually, others are usually thinking about themselves—not me nor you).

6. Asking a million questions. (Oh, dread, this can definitely be overdone).

7. Not being right here, right now. (quit obsessing about whatever is being obsessed about; remember the moment—right here, right now)

:)

...not my material, read in a blog

This is an important realization that on it’s face, seems glaringly obvious. It is, very simply, that some days are good, some days are bad.

Sometimes when a bad day occurs, I have felt sullen and distraught to a certain point. Over time, I have come to work out a different approach to dealing with the negative things of life.

Now, I attempt to react more along the lines of trying to define what happened and how it has affected me. I can still fully acknowledge that the situation “sucks”, but remind myself that as some time goes by, this will pass and inevitably, something new will take it’s place! Why is understanding that a “bad day” will pass and fade, so difficult for us to grasp? It’s really quite incredible that something so obvious is so often overlooked.

Oddly, this is one time where living in the moment is a good thing and a bad thing. In this situation we have to live in the moment, but also be mindful that other moments will follow and be better than this one. Writing this has made me question whether “living in the moment” may have it’s exceptions. I like the stimulation of new thought on this.

The thing that also bothers me, is when I, or someone else gets upset or frustrated and quits trying or gives something up just because of a temporary negative situation.

How many times have we seen this? It is as if when a bad day strikes, that many of us strike back with some negative action, that may include quitting or even revenge, to make ourselves feel better. But it’s unnecessary, because, if we are patient and press on with our endeavors, this day will pass and another will take its place! Plus, we can use our experience as a motivator to achieve, accomplish, and prevent such circumstances from occurring again. How about turning something negative into something postive? That is a very real possibility that can be made into a reality.

As a reminder to myself…Do not let a bad day make you stop or quit something that is important to you. Things change. Some days are good and some days are bad. It is very simple , really, and it is OK to have a bad day. Keep a FLUID ATTITUDE, that ensures that a disenchanting day will not shut you down, only make you reflect and move on and will serve as something to learn from until the sun starts beating down with brightness again.

I want to meet bad days with patience and try a shrug of the shoulder and a “knowing smile” that things change…they always do—and place my bet on things changing for the better.

We see people of different religions give up things in order to grow in their faith. What comes to mind is fasting, or giving up food, and the Catholic tradition of Lent, giving up something of importance to demonstrate faith. Although I haven’t been a participant in these types of practices, there is something valid to be learned in regard to these customs.

The act of giving up something of importance for someone you love can lead to a greater self-discovery and help a relationship to take a giant leap in terms of growth. In our self-absorbed society, we often hear advice to the contrary…advice telling us to do what we want and have what we want without regard to anyone else.

And yes, it does make sense to be true to ourselves and go out and take what we really want in this world while we are here. But, there are relationships that are so important in our lives, that it is a privilege to give something up for the relationship.

If the relationship is fairly healthy, the result can be a deeper gratitude and trust between two people. The result of this unselfish act also may prompt a release of fear in the relationship and result in an opening up with true feelings and an increase of honesty between two people.

When we give up something important to us for the sake of someone else, we are letting the other person know that he or she is more important than the other thing is to us. That may be the only thing the other person really needed to know in the first place. And, when the person realizes that, then suddenly, that thing that was so important in the past, doesn’t matter so much anymore, to both of you.

And it may surprise you in the future to find yourself pursuing that which you gave up once again, only with a new, healthier perspective; and find it is a pursuit that the person you love appreciates too!

This is something that has taken me a long time to figure out.

After being on 43 for a while, I realize that I view subscriptions a lot differently than I used to view them. Initially, if I lost a subscriber, it felt a bit deflating. Now I see subscriptions as a gauge of interest and common ground.

The danger in allowing a negative type of effect to occur when a subscriber is lost is (1) we may be tempted to lose our “true selves” in trying to please others to gain a person back, and (2) if we let subscriber loss negatively effect us, then we lose our focus of why we are here in the first place (fulfill goals, social media, self-discovery).

As long as I keep my ego in check, I can be just as happy when I lose a subscriber, as when I gain one. If I offend someone, make someone uncomfortable, or am no benefit to that person, why on earth would I want that person to subscribe to my writing? It would make me more comfortable if that person did not subscribe to me. In order to be free to grow and use this site effectively, we need to be comfortable to express ourselves here freely. Having subscribers who are on the similar wavelength or somehow gain something from my writing is exciting and gratifying.

Truly, the only thing that would be sad to me is if I had 0 subscribers, as I continue to write. It’s strange, but just one person is enough to inspire me. It is a beautiful thing to realize that each one of us here is enough to touch someone else’s life as just one human being. That means you, whoever you are and reading this…just you alone who finds me somehow helpful or useful and for some reason wants to keep up with me. You alone are enough. And that, is one of the best realizations of all!

It is an analogy we all know—the phrase “stepping outside the box”. Although it is an overused expression, I think the box-esque description of getting outside our comfort zone is a good one. I have been stepping outside of my own comfort zone more and more lately. When I get outside my comfort zone, it feels uneasy and worrisome. Inside the “box” feels safe and accepting and confident. Outside the box feels dangerous and feels insecure. Also, because I am venturing out into new territory, such a move may result in rejection by others who are used to my “regular self”.

While inside the box can be wonderful and comforting, if we stay there too long, we will eventually become stale, much like bread locked up inside its package way past its expiration date.

In order to renew ourselves and grow, and as uncomfortable as it is sometimes, it is important to break the borders of our boxes and to venture out more. It is also important not to over-think our actions, but to recognize the courage of our journey. And perhaps hardest of all, it is important not to rely on the acceptance of others, but to lean steadily on our own self-acceptance and have a real appreciation of our effort.

Happiness comes from within, not from without.

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do [for others and for ourselves]...Helen Keller

This is my 20th realization. I’m not sure what I’m about to write.

• It is good not to cause pain in the lives of others.

• It is good to be giving, but understand when you should say no.

• It is good to draw the line, but with compassion.

• It is good not to let your ego destroy your potential.

• It is good not to let material possessions (greed) make you the kind of person that you do not want to be.

• It is good to forgive others.

• It is good to forgive yourself.

• It is good to put away obsessive thoughts and move yourself into a frame of action, like cleaning, exercising, calling a friend. Excessive thinking can claim a good portion of your life. Balance rules.

• It is good to take time to help someone who is in the hospital, lonely, hurt, or in need of something so simple that you could give it to them easily and touch a life.

• Giving is a selfish gesture, because you get more for yourself in the end than you had in the beginning.

I realize that I haven’t got much figured out about this life. But my mind and heart are open to learn lessons and use what I’ve learned in the best way that I’m able.

I realize that it’s good to relax and let myself laugh, even if the subject that I’m laughing at is myself. I used to want to be mature acting, like a venerable sage. But now, I long to be as a child, accepting things that I should accept as they are, with no ugliness of spirit or ill intentions.

I realize that there is an ongoing challenge in our lives to push past apathy, which I believe can be a person’s downfall. A lot of mornings when I wake, I think about the thing that I am apathetic about, and remove the A from the word apathetic, and then remind myself that to be apathetic is to be pathetic. A pep talk of sorts you could say, which most times, seems to push me toward action.

I know it sounds cliche, but I realize how important it is for a person to love his or herself. I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, but in a way that provides peace within. One day I realized that I am able to love and accept myself almost completely! And that is something that I can count on doing. The day I figured that out, was a great day for me. There was no worry about loss or trying to control something. I finally understood that in a lifetime, self-love is something that can be constant, and that was a really comforting realization.

I’ve rambled on here and hope it has benefited at least one other person. Sometimes it feels good to just say whatever we are thinking at the moment.

Realizations are about being true to myself. Not excusing myself for the way I am. Not making excuses about why I am the way I am or do the things I do. They are about the truth. About facing what is truly happening in my life. About what I truly need. About facing my demons and my dark side. They are about being real with myself.