make some new rules

some new rules I’ve made for Myself. I am not going to list them here, and even articulating them seems useless since I can already see them so embedded in practice. So, for now, I’d say this is done. I will, however, re-visit this goal if the need for new rules should arise. I will be able to tell if I find Myself breaking those rules I’ve made.

There are so many ways that I think this applies, at least to me, not even including the media and the Republican machine. Please indulge me while I break some of them down. When I was a kid, my Dad always used to me to “just forget it and go on down the road” every time someone said or did something that upset me. I just can’t do that any more.

1. My best friend: I have a goal entitled “Find some friends who get me.” After lots of thinking, my real problem is that the person who is my closest friend doesn’t get me. He gets angry with me every time I don’t fit into his vision of who I am supposed to be and makes sure I know about it. He has never once congratulated me on a single piece of good news without immediately trying to outdo me and steal my thunder. He goes to great lengths to make me feel inferior to him and it usually works. I even allow him to treat me badly. I had a story about the prime example of this that I was going to tell, but I don’t really want to tell the whole thing on here anymore, but the end result was that he left me having a panic attack by myself in the middle of Bourbon Street at 1:30 in the morning because I didn’t want to go to a strip club. The next morning, he told me the whole thing was my fault. I’ve swallowed this incident for 10 months for the sake of our friendship and all of the other bad behavior for almost 5 years. No more. I’m done with taking this bullshit from him and not saying anything about it. I deserve better. I’m trying to talk to him about it, but he has a habit of every time I tell him I need to talk to him he only gives me 5 minutes in between errands. This time has been no different. I told him to call me back when he has time to talk to me. I’m waiting. I hope we can work things out and remain friends, but I’m willing to risk what will happen from me telling him how I feel. I don’t need him to validate myself anymore. I can validate myself.

2. My family: I have a couple of family members who seem to go out of their way to offend me, although it is one in particular who does it more often than not. From making racially insensitive comments to ripping on teachers to just constantly saying things that I find offensive about pretty much everything. Example: I have an uncle who I am very close to, though we disagree on pretty much everything. When I was home for Christmas, he made fun of people who give money or time to charity, said he hoped for a recession because it would be good for his business, and talked about how nobody deserves a second chance for anything. My mom asks me not to say anything back to him even though every time he talks about how he is tired of paying for programs for single mothers I really want to tell him I am tired of paying to bomb innocent civilians and to fund the School of the Americas and to give tax breaks to protect the Wal Marts of the world. I’ve always swallowed it all to keep peace even though I feel like a fraud afterwards and ashamed of myself for silently endorsing what he says by not disagreeing with him. I can’t anymore. I’ll be polite and try to keep peace, but I’m done with being silent.

3. Pretending to be Dumb: I’ve put on here before that I often pretend to be dumber than I am because people get upset with me whenever they see how smart I am. No more of that nonsense either. I have a light and I’m leaving it on. My intelligence is a gift and I am going to be proud of it all the time. I haven’t played dumb with any of you or anybody else I’ve met in the last few months, but I still do it quite a bit around my longer term friends and my family. This must end, and it’s time for me to stop swallowing my pride and their own insecurities.

I’ve found that great things can happen when I’m myself around women. Now, I need to do that around everybody else. It’s time to stop apologizing for who I am and start being proud of it. Jenn told me last week that I have a responsibility to embrace my chance at greatness. She is absolutely right and I intend to do just that. I’m going to start by surrounding myself with people who believe in me, support me, and want to come along with me for the ride. A lot of great people like me and care about me. For those who don’t value me, my feelings, and my best traits, it’s time to invite them to accept the real me and if they can’t, then I guess I need to move on down the road. Maybe Dad’s advice wasn’t so bad afterall.

I was thinking that Life is an ear-biting, eye-gouging, groin-stomping free-for-all, but I acknowledge I may have been unduly influenced by a summer of campaign ads and Meet the Press. Perhaps a high colonic is in order.

But I digress.

I was going to suggest a “no-bite” rule, but that might unduly limit some consensual activities, and we simply can’t have that. I suggest we revise it to “no marks.” Or better yet, “no PERMANENT marks.”

So team…are we agreed?

of the rules for living (aka “Da Rules”), in 2008 and beyond. Anyone want to help? Anyone? Anyone? ;)