got home and feel motivated. i have a lot to do and whenever i have a lot to do in a short space of time, i get overwhelmed and end up avoiding things… so i’m tackling as much as i can tonight, and i’m going to keep at it the next few days. i’m very stressed about 2 midterms, 2 assignments for my university classes, plus much to do with family, finding a new apartment in peterborough that will be suitable for me & matt, finding and starting a new job, organizing finances and a million small things to do that arent that important but are piling up just the same… doesnt help that my room is a disaster, i have sooo much stuff ;_;

i dont know why this blog goes under ‘feel alive’ but i definitely feel alive right now! so busy! and london was great too! but my english bf moving here, quitting his job and moving across the country to be avec moi… wonderful and exciting but scary and stressful just the same, for both of us.

i got a nice big bottle of grey goose ;) ;) 11 months ago

Lately I’ve really felt like I’m in a haze, or a dream, and on bad days a nightmare. Days are just flying by, I don’t feel like I’m really squeezing everything out of life or enjoying myself just by life’s small pleasures. This is NOT how I want to live. I just want the numbness gone and to feel like I’m living. I’m going to have to brainstorm to how to achieve this…

I just want to wake up and feel like I’m alive, that I have some sort of control over at least my feelings of awareness. I just want a jolt of something to shock me alive again (preferably in a good way, I’ve had enough shocks in a bad way to last me awhile). 17 months ago

I don’t need a reason to feel alive…I need a perfect way. 21 months ago