I rather love my new fall outfit: 7 months ago

A friend of mine gave me this dress years ago and I’ve never worn it… until this weekend.

Desperate to find something new to wear in my wardrobe I rediscovered this and tried it on… I NEVER would have thought a wrap dress in a small print would suit my figure – but I think it does! I got compliments on it all day… so I’m taking that as ‘it looks fine!’

Jeff took this photo, and as he’s a bit taller than me, it’s a fab angle! I don’t actually look that thin really (or my head really that big!!!) but it IS quite a slimming dress and I love how it shows my curves… (never thought I’d ever say that!)

I’m also wearing a new necklace and earrings that I love! The big circle on the necklace is engraved with “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” – and I have decided to take that to heart and live by it! 7 months ago

“Know, first, who you are; and then dress yourself accordingly.”
- Epictetus 7 months ago

this weekend. Simple enough – a short denim sundress with a blue plaid shirt over it, sleeves rolled up, a brown leather belt cinched tight around my waist and my brown roping boots. One of the servers at the restaurant said it was really cute and I know I looked great, but I felt really vulnerable about it being an outfit, as opposed to just some clothes I threw on.

I felt like taking a little extra time made it clear that I wanted to look good and that somehow gave other people power. It was really interesting to feel all this defensive anxiety over putting on a damn belt and some boots! My attitude and force of personality make people think I could care less what others think and that’s part of my “charm,” but it’s good for me to be aware that creating an outer style that is a true reflection of me may stir up some inner demons. 10 months ago

in NYC wearing a flowing velveteen skirt and an underbust black leather back-laced steel-boned corset with nothing but a scarf underneath to cover my breasts. I felt totally comfortable going to Starbucks for breakfast, a deli for lunch, and walking to my hotel. It’s becoming more uncomfortable for me to wear “safe” boring clothing than to wear something beautiful and daring.

Clearly, I’m neither safe nor boring; I am beautiful and daring. 12 months ago

but you get the idea. 12 months ago

I bought my first backless dress in Miami Beach last weekend. It’s wine-colored, knee-length and completely backless. Then there are the chains that cross the back. So completely out of my usual style of dressing and I looked freaking fantastic. (Don’t have pics yet, sorry.) I also rocked a very tight ruched pink dress that weekend. Dresses are definitely my new favorite thing.

I also liked walking around in my nearly transparent yellow coverup with just a bathing suit bottom on underneath. 12 months ago

I was talked in to buying this dress by my beautiful husband – please excuse the dodgy photo, bad angle, bad hair and what I believe is probably a fingerprint on the camera phone! Haha!

It was expensive… WAYYY more expensive than I would usually spend… but DAMN it makes me feel good! Even like this – just to try it on after a day out without all the hair and makeup and jewellery that usually helps me feel goddess-like! The colour is actually a bit deeper than what it looks in this pic, and the to material has a really luxurious weight to it that just feels so decadent and wonderful! I will wear a little cardi/ jacket to cover my dimply fat arms – but I think it will still look good! (Hope so anyway! Probably should have tried it on to see!)

Anyhoo – I ended up buying this and a black lacy tunic top (again at Jeff’s insistence – bless him!) from City Chic… which is usually not a shop I find clothes that I like and fit me.. so happy with that! 13 months ago

to work every day this week and even wore one on Monday, when I was off work. I think I’m becoming a dress girl. It makes me even more eager to get low-heeled, knee-length black boots.

Next month in NYC, as part of the program I’m in, there will be a huge clothing swap with professional hair & makeup artists and professional stylists. I am so excited! I plan to get rid of everything in my closet that doesn’t excite me, bring the really good stuff to Manhattan, and give the rest to thrift stores. 14 months ago

I have four printed dresses for work. The only prints I used to abide were stripes and the occasional polka-dotted retro piece. Printed dresses are their own accessories, which makes getting dressed easier, which is good for a lazy girl like me. A friend sent me a black wrap dress, too, so I’m well set with dresses. I’m still hunting for low-heeled, knee-length black boots. 14 months ago

I’ve started wearing dresses with tall boots to work and I feel and look great. Today, I’ve got on a dark blue dress with a white chain and medallion pattern and elbow sleeves and knee-high brown boots. Yesterday, I wore a black/brown/white wrap dress with stars on it, a black sweater, and a different pair of knee-high brown boots. So easy and so cute.

I want to get a pair of low-heeled knee-high black boots. Having those would make it easier to put together more dress outfits. I’m haunting ideeli dot com and other sales sites for a pair that look exactly right. It’ll be a bit of a splurge, but worth it. 14 months ago

I’ve been craving color. I bought two cotton tunics online. The one in the pic and a turquoise one in the same style. I also bought a bright blue dress for work. An online friend, who saw that I desired more wrap dresses, is sending me one.

One of the challenges in the Mastery course I’m taking is to get rid of every piece of clothing that doesn’t make you feel fantastic, even if you’re left with only two or three pieces. This would strip me of several basics that have gotten shabby and would probably push me into wearing more dresses. I resist that for fear of looking too dressy and feeling foolish about that. Isn’t that strange? Why would looking good be foolish? 14 months ago

I had a ton of stuff to pack for this weekend at Mr. Yes’s and out and about: snow clothes, running clothes, regular life stuff, coaching stuff. So instead of packing my clothes for tonight’s party, I wore them to work. Sleeveless black dress, tight black shrug sweater, black leggings, tall brown boots, and a long, multi-strand red bead necklace. My boss complimented me and I feel great. Why don’t I dress up for work all the time? I’m thinking a new subgoal here should be putting together one new outfit for work every week. 15 months ago

A little outer bling to match my inner bling! 16 months ago

as my outer style?? He was in a friend’s wedding on the weekend – scrubs up pretty well in a suit!! 17 months ago

Have been feeling quite BLAH about my locks lately!! Had a colour, a cut and have decided to embrace my curl!! Hopefully I can learn how to tame it on a day to day basis! 18 months ago

During my last coaching session, my PSI (personal spiritual interface – basically, my google translate for God) told me that I should go to a high-end store to experience a high level of service. He had previously suggested I get some wrap dresses and when I asked him how I should pay for them, told me to get only dresses that embraced me. Okay then, I will.

It may sound odd, but dressing myself beautifully makes sense. I have a strong hunch that I am here to bring beauty to people. If I want people to take a stand for beauty, I need to reflect beauty in the way I live, look, move, speak, etc. I talked to Mr. Yes about it and he stood me still by saying the EXACT thing my PSI said, “YOU need to know you’re beautiful.” (That man is plugged in.)

So, while Mr. Yes rode 42 miles up and down gnarly hills, I wandered through Nordstrom’s and other upscale boutiques. It turns out there are $1800 dresses with entirely unacceptable fabric quality and handiwork. I finally found three to try on. I hadn’t accounted for the way high-end stores resize things. I know I’m a size 6, but I had to have the salesclerk get me size 2s. Please. The last time I was a size 2, I was horribly sick and skinny. Anyway.

The dress I chose is a short burgundy jersey with long dolman sleeves and an interesting and subtle pattern. It fits like a dream and feels amazing. So did a beaded purple velvet dress, but when I asked my PSI which dress, I saw a picture of me wearing the burgundy one on a terrace overlooking the sea. I think of this dress as the touchstone dress, my stand for wearing high quality clothing that suits me perfectly. The dress is a bridge between the me I am now and the me who is sharing her gifts in a more open and courageous way, who truly takes a stand for beauty in everything she does. It’s a key as much as it is a dress.

I think I’ll wear it tonight, at home. I want to feel comfortable in it. 18 months ago

Ah shoes. Yet another thing I hate shopping for. I have big feet. They’re long and they’re wide… not really made for pretty, girly, fashionable shoes!

Friday, my Diva besties and I had a another Diva Day. Once every 3 months or so, we all take a day off of work to dedicate to ourselves and each other. It was Shelley’s turn to organise our day (we all take turns), so because we are always in awe of her bargain hunting ways, she took us around to all the shops she frequents. Second hand shops, Salvos, St Vinnies… as well as a fabulous organic cafe for breakfast and our favourite haunt for lunch. She even had the “emergency esky” in the boot with a bottle of non-alcoholic bubbles and 3 glasses, a couple of cans of Pepsi Max, some ginger beer, water and chocolate all on ice!

Anyway – back to the shoes! She took us to a Diana Ferrari outlet… and I am IN LOVE! I ended up buying FOUR pairs of shoes! Amazing! I even bought some cute heels! So, I now have three pairs of court shoes – a tan coloured pair that are kind of mary-jane like and two shiny pairs, one dark blue and the other a dark red, and a pair of black sling back peep toe heels with a white/ cream trim… I’m feeling good!! 18 months ago

Today I’m wearing a very thin burgundy belt over my grey sweater, to pick up the color from my red heart self love necklace, and I really like the way it looks. I’ll have to check H&M and other inexpensive shops for belts.

I exchanged the hot pink dress for a smaller size and it was marked down to $15. I looked great in a size small, which was a nice boost. The fact that virtually any walking I do in my new neighborhood is a workout, thanks to the hills, is definitely changing my body shape.

I want some black low-heeled boots that I can wear with dresses that don’t look quite right with brown boots. I also want some wrap dresses and at least two new pair of work trousers, one in camel and one in a rich brown. Is it just me or are most of the clothes out there today made of really thin fabric? It seems like I used to be able to get nicer fabric at a reasonable price point and now there’s a big jump between the cheap stuff and high-end brands. 18 months ago

an inexpensive hot pink dress. Tonight, I’m going back to see if they have it in a smaller size. I’m feeling an urge to hot it up. I tried a new hairstyle today, but I’m not sure how I like it. Changed my makeup routine, too. 18 months ago

more urgent right now, just as I have less wiggle room in the budget. I’ve got to find time to get to the thrift stores, but most are closed by the time I get back to the Oakland/Berkeley area at night. Maybe I can persuade Mr. Yes to accompany me to some this weekend.

To be honest, I’m looking for clothes to prop me up a bit, as my self-definition is dissolving. That may be a good thing in the long run, but it’s disconcerting right now and a well pulled together outfit gives me a sense that my outside doesn’t reflect the confusion inside, which is soothing. 19 months ago

Sorry about the bathroom shot again – just easier when Jeff is busy!

As you can see, I’d been sitting for a few hours, so the shirt is a bit crinkly! Didn’t have the hair and makeup happening today, but I still felt good – this shirt is really becoming my go-to feel good top! 20 months ago

I usually wear tracksuit pants and my comfy, flannelette pyjama top… but the thing is, I spend quite a bit of time at home, and I spend time at home with Jeff… so if I’m not feeling attractive, sexy or at least pretty, what is that doing to the way he sees me?

Anyhoo, I’ve taken to wearing this t-shirt at home (just with black pants – but not track pants!) and I love it! It’s a little big now (which kind of makes me feel good as a start, as it used to be quite tight around my tummy and hips) but I quite like the way it drops off my shoulder a little – that makes me feel quite sexy. And as for the sparkly butterfly – how could you not feel good about yourself with sparkly butterfly wings spanning your boobs?? Haha!

It’s a small thing I guess, but acknowledging this has really made a difference to how I think about myself – in the past, I would just wear whatever around home… now, I think “would I be embarrassed if someone dropped in unexpectedly right now?”... and if the answer is hell yes – then I go and change! 20 months ago

Is that even a word?? (I’ll go check…) That’s how I felt today… vampy – just so you know, not in a ‘vampire’ way, more in the sexy and highly appealing way!

I have finally realised that even though I may not be completely sure of an outfit because it’s out of my comfort zone… if I get compliments every time I wear it, I should probably just go with that!

I have a purple shirt (some call it blue, but I swear, it looks purple to me!) which is a little shorter than I usually wear and is more fitted so it shows off my shape (waist) but in doing so, it also shows my big, sticky-out backside! But every time I wear it I get heaps of compliments, comments about how glowing/ gorgeous/ goddessy I look and even flirts from men! I wear it with a black tank top which has a ‘ruched’ effect just between the boobs, a pair of black pants and today, my silver wedding thongs! I also have a really cool necklace which goes perfectly with the whole ensemble (I’ve changed already, but I will endeavour to remember to take a photo next time and post it!) I feel sexy when I wear it now, because people actually notice me and comment… and for once in my lifetime, that actually makes me feel good instead of vulnerable! 20 months ago

a while ago, and I thought to myself, “I’m going to add that to MY list one day… when I’m thinner and CAN wear nicer clothes..”

I am ashamed to say that it has taken me until right now to realise how ridiculous that is. Yes, I find it difficult to find clothes that truly reflect who I am AND fit properly, but I owe it to myself to at least TRY!

So, overweight or not – I pledge to only buy/ wear clothes that make me feel good and reflect how I truly feel about myself! 21 months ago

I’ve been rocking a pair of skinny green cargo pants. They’re stylish but the stretch makes them great for hiking, climbing over rocks, etc. The fact that they make my ass look amazing is pretty nice, too. 21 months ago

last night, I saw picture after picture of me with kickass short hair. It made me want kickass hair again. My hair is in a longish but not really long phase that’s a bit blah. I had my stylist add some long layers, but it’s still blah.

I’m not sure what I want, but will at least experiment with some clips and braiding to give it some oomph. It’s pretty hair, but there’s nothing distinctive about the style. I miss distinctive. Maybe something more asymmetrical? That looked great when my hair was straight, but now that it has gone wavy, I’m not sure it would be as striking.

I’ve also gotten into a jeans and t-shirt/long cotton shirt rut that is uninspired. It’s time to haunt the thrift stores and H&M to see what I can put together that’s more unique. 23 months ago