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Dreams of Variations
03/09/2009

If all we have
Is one life to live
Then I’m going to give
All that I can give

Through thick brick roads
Comes through the thick
All things that once waited
But can now be gone, in a matter of a click

It unravels itself
Just like we grow
Getting longer in stride
Through all the warmth and cold

He is a lone wolf
In the middle of the woods
Hoping that while on the run
He is able to find some food

And while mating may be hard
But he accepts in fury
Like the seasons of weather
He feels real sorry

Real upset
That he could not prevent
All those things that appeared
All in a matter of a second

Unlike all others
He is made from within
Although appearing tough
His skin, is very thin

He swallows it all with pride
Everything he has left
The last piece of flesh
The last meat within the nest

While he is not prepared
For what may await
He might not make it
With his fate, at this rate

He reacts in fear
Because his time may be low
This is the life he’s chosen
And the only life he knows

So leaving it behind
Feels almost too hard
Knowing he’s never to return
He’s feeling barred

Like he is no longer with others
And he is now all alone
All his previous actions
Have not been condoned

Knowing all that he knows
And having lost while cared
He has fear for the future
Feeling anxious and scared

He does not wish
To go through all that again
But he knows that he probably will
So he tries to make the best of it, and tries to blend

Blending is hard
When you’re already marked
Targeted by all
No light shown, always feeling dark

One more occasion
And the very final stance
The last feeling he shall get
While holding his stance

He knows that this is it
He’s reached the end
So he tries to make it work
Tries to amend

Tries to make things right
And correct all mistakes
He knows it won’t be easy
He’s going to give all that it may take

He is prepared
For the final journey
The stage is set
So there is not returning

All through the grapevine
He hears this tale
Of a lone wolf
Who was derailed, and impaled

And came back
To live another day
To correct all things gone wrong
And finally rest to lay

Final adventure
The final glory
He shall be remembered
With all the stories

In the end, they all shall
Know his name
The lone wolf that made it
Very much different
But very much the same

Left Standing
01/14/2009
Rewritten: 03/19/09 11:17pm

What happens when?
It all unfolds
And you get to feeling left out
And left in the cold

You stood and waited
All to find out
That others
May have certain doubts

We feel broken and crushed
And driven to the ground
It’s hard to fight the feeling
When no one’s around

And even though
Things may appear gloom
Cause the feeling we get
Is that we’re all alone in the room

There will be a time
When those feelings will disappear
And along with those emotions
Away goes the fear

The fear, to be broken
The fear, of being fragile
Of being caught feeling weak
Time after time, and mile by mile

We rise up for the occasion
And get ready to stand
No more falls for now
This time we shall land

Nothing to break us
Or make us feel weak
Being able to walk free
Of those feelings, is what we seek

What doesn’t destroy us
Only makes us stronger
The time we spend standing
Undoubtedly is longer…

Thought Corner:
Trying to recover my mindset and truly re-discover what is of the most importance. Away with Arielle!!! In with Life In Color…

True Colors
03/19/2009 9:00pm

Everything standstill
Quiet and smooth
All alike and soundless
As if sitting in a soundproof booth

Thoughts along with action
Prepare to re-enact
Is the time enough
To get some things back

What’s lost in our eyes
Is once what was wanted
Having, and then Losing
Makes us feel Haunted

All by the truth
Reality hits
Realizing true emotions
Too hard to admit

To care, and feel
Scares us a bit
But being able to face it
Maybe the right fit
It results in thoughts
Hard to take action
To know what we now know
Would have been great back then

Time is of the essence
Powerful and true
And sooner or later
It will stop for you too

Like sand through an hourglass
Time ticks and tocks
Nothing guaranteed
And nothing locked

Without question
We begin to understand
And with the help of others
We begin to band

Thousands of years
And a lifetime of efforts
Some written
And some booked in all records

In the end
With a pause
Judgments are yet still to come
Our whole body still, anxious and numb

Stepping through the door
Seeing inside
Some well alive
While others have passed on and died

The key thing to remember
Virtue and temperance
While we enjoy our time
Without a true glance

So things are not always
What they may appear to be
Following our time
At the end, the small fee

So with this new light
Things will come clear
Just remember to always cherish
What’s so close, and so very dear

Doesn’t take much
To show true colors
To appreciate and love
All sisters, and brothers

Moms and Dads
And close relatives too
Cause in the end
that’s what separates you…

Thought Corner:
A few days after my breakup with Arielle, its hard to explain some thoughts running through my head as I come to find out new and interesting facts.

I’ll admit it. I have a hard time sitting down and motivating myself to write. I do well with a group to both spur me on and keep my ego in check. (Which is really not all that bad, but hey, all writer’s do it. I’m talking about the times when you come up with an idea or scene that just seems so great while to the rest of the word it’s just either meh, over-the-top, or nonsensical). I loved my college writing courses, but since I graduated from my undergraduate studies it’s been hard to pick it back up again with no deadlines or critique waiting for me Tuesday mornings.

A good friend of mine has twice before mentioned that she’d like to start one. So hopefully this will happen sometime soon.

We spent no less than 3 hours prodding and poking at the first 14 pages of my manuscript, shredding it to pieces – but darn it – I had fun! It needed it…I have tried to validate some elements of unbelievability in my head but figured out tonight what they were lacking – motivation! I grabbed onto motivation in NaNo 2008, but when I went back to 2007’s document I didn’t bother to revise the motivation in there for some of the characters. So now…I can take another look and improve A LOT.

AND joined a writing group thanks to NaNo :D They’re awesome ladies with not only helpful writing advice, but interesting tales to tell, the same struggle with finding time and ending the procrastination bug, and our first critique meeting is next week. Now, if only I could finish rewriting the opening to my story so I can bring it along next week ;)

in order to help me get a book written. I need to have people of a like mind willing to read and critique each other’s work. People who will hold each other accountable for producing pages every week or every other week.

About what?

anybody happen to know of a group in or near Burbank, CA?
maybe we start our own?

I joined a group through the adult education classes in my community that is based on Pat Schneider of the Amherst Writing Group’s approach. We do writing exercises during class, read them aloud if we feel comfortable doing so, and then provide positive feedback. We say what we like about the pieces or what stays with us about them. We don’t critique unless someone brings something in and asks for a critique.

The session is over but I think we are going to keep the group going. I really like this approach for people like me who need a little jumpstart on actually getting some writing done. I need to work on the habit of writing first and not worry about people ripping my stuff apart (I do enough of that to myself!). I highly recommend Pat Schneider’s book “Writing alone or with others” as a starting point for people who want to start a supportive writing group where you can feel comfortable opening yourself up to a group.