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get wired for happy


 

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    Update to serious funk 22 months ago

    I wrote a post yesterday that was such a downer it had to stay behind the safe confines of a locked LiveJournal, but turned it around later in the afternoon. I didn’t play guitar or run errands or go by Space but my friend Tyler did IM me with a request for help on the Facebook application he’s building so I met him at Gachet at 5:30 and having to jump right into some serious technical shit snapped me back into it—and motivated me to get cranking again on the approx 6 outstanding tech projects I have on the table. I did a tiny bit of database design consulting—but not much, I’m no expert (at one point I was in the query screen in PHPMyAdmin trying to do a subquery and quickly realized I couldn’t do it off the top of my head). I was looking for the database design for one of my vaporware products (see bottom right of this diagram) as an example and couldn’t find it.

    So upon returning home a couple hours later I was determined to find this DB design on an external hard drive or older notebook. Did not find. It doesn’t exist. But for some reason, this motivated me to work on it.

    But while sifting through these old notebooks I found a lot of shit! Some of it was kind of a downer—like, I was probably clinically depressed for years before diagnosed (but still an edge case where drugs are of suspect use). The stuff about my ex-wife wasn’t much of a downer anymore, which is nice. Enough time has passed there I guess. I found a notebook I kept for my first therapist in Florida. Lots of stuff from my childhood that I don’t even remember having to deal with anymore, yet alone the original events. Original notes on SWIM (“DWM” — “Dynamic Widget Mover”) and opensourcelife.com (yet another never-done project!). And little notes that very much resemble tweets ... “Dreams are definately [sic] an early-warning system.” “Kenny crying.” “1 month or so a year we come out of our climate-controlled mobile ecosystems.”

    And notes about other projects: “Book: 2 stories. come together to tell the same ending from diff pers. mult endings.” Then a drawing showing two columns, one “John” the other “Johny” ...some things have been around for a while…this was 2001.

    I don’t know where I was going with this. It was sad yet hopeful; it seemed as if nothing had changed inside me despite all of this change outside of me; and it seemed like I hadn’t accomplished a single thing in the last 7 years despite having a not-short list of accomplishments from the same time period. I had a couple beers and fell asleep on teh couch.

    Other things I did to make me happier: got a surprise, put my iPod on shuffle, didn’t eat for a while.



    Get wired for happy 23 months ago

    In a strange confluence while reading Adam Greenfield’s blog (the content of which has nothing to do with this goal, and to explain how that site brought about this idea would be too difficult to explain and inconsequential anyway) after some semi-recent events and more-so recent conversations, I had the thought that I might not be wired to be happy. And that needs to be changed.

    So the questions remain: what makes us wired for unhappiness? It may have something to do with psychoanalysis ...related: what parts of our brain might want us to remain unhappy? Why would we cognitively want to be happy but emotionally unable or unwilling to get happy?

    It probably has some things to do with insecurity. What does it mean to be secure, at ease with ourselves, happy, and responsibility-taking human beings? It means no more excuses. It means, of course, that if we are not happy we have no-one to blame but ourselves.

    It has to do with making decisions that are wiser than our brains actually are (which might need to be a separate goal anyhow). And letting our brains learn from that wise decision.

    “You’ve got a kind of beautiful, makes the boys want to give up running all around.”

    It has to do with being able to say “I’m sorry” and to actually forgive yourself and learn from it and move forward without regret, because who you actually are was not the one who did that thing that required an “I’m sorry”. The actual you lives in the future and is secure and happy and doesn’t do those things.

    More later.




     

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