Kim N is productive lately
I edit the heck out of the things I write. Many times, during editing, I abandon whatever I was writing because thinking about what I’m writing becomes too much for me to handle. I do it with e-mails, blog entries, and entries and comments here. I hardly write in my blog anymore, and I used to be a daily blogger. E-mails go unanswered because I know how hard it’s going to be to get through some. Today, I already started to write a comment to someone and abandoned it. Over the last few days, though, I hit the “Save this entry” button a couple of times when I didn’t feel ready because I didn’t want to spend anymore time agonizing over what I wrote. Usually, that’s when I would abandon something, so that’s progress.
I’ve always been a little bit self-edit-y. That’s a good thing to proof what you write and think about it twice. But it’s gotten much worse.
I think it’s because, in my last relationship, I had to worry about everything I wrote everywhere. I never knew if what I’d write next that would cause an argument. I stopped blogging. I stopped writing here. [Note: I’m even considering abandoning this entry, but I won’t].
I also had a musical partner several years ago, and I agonized for hours over e-mails I sent him because any misstep would cause him to be angry with me. He even got angry with me one time because I failed to put a smiley in my e-mail. Seriously.
It’s a wonder I still write at all.
In the spirit of this goal, I’m not going to read what I’ve written before I post it. In fact, I’m going to click “Save this entry” and walk away for a while. If I say something stupid or offensive, it’s probably a mistake or unintentional, so give me the benefit of the doubt.
