It is the beginning of a new Jewish New Year, and I am looking back over the last 12 months.

You said back, at the beginning of 5771, that this would be the year that you took your job more seriously. But it’s been so much more than that. The whole agency has really been transformed over the last year.

To say “take it more seriously” – sure. But what you did over this last year is found the leaders who would work with you to make the transformation possible. And now the money is coming in a little more easily. It’s still hard – plenty hard – to do fundraising, but you don’t feel as desperate as you did when you first started.

You’re still in your little office in Mary Queen of Peace – that hasn’t changed. Yet. But the way that it really has changed is in the dynamism, the feeling of real DIRECTION that the agency has this year. All you can say is, “wow”.

Another major change this year has been that Rose finished her senior year of high school, and she is now off to college. This grand project you began with David, to raise your children, is starting to come to an end. You already feel sad, you already feel like you miss her – and at the same time – you know, she is going to be this amazing grown woman, and her first step at true independence has now begun. You are filled with so much pride, love, joy – it just brims to the top and spills all over your life.

Another thing that happened this year was a trip you took as a family. You went to a foreign country, some place you hadn’t been before. You maybe weren’t quite ready for the trip, and yet you did it anyway. It was an amazing adventure, beyond anything you ever could have imagined – the best way to have spent this summer, no question.

Which also brings up the trip to Israel. It was not quite what you expected. Rafe and Olivier did what they said they would. You danced in the desert, you sang, you prayed – all these things are true. Instead, what made the trip so different was that Israelis were not who you expected them to be. People all around you were not what you thought they’d be like. You still are unsure what to make of the experience.

You also had another experience this year – one that could not have been anticipated a year previously. You also gave yourself to something larger than yourself – more than once. You also were able to bridge some gaps – wider gaps than others would have expected.

All these things happened – and more. Plenty of bicycle miles, hiking in the woods – all these things and more. 2 years ago

I try to write things like this out of the right side of my brain, and not have the ego judge too much what it coming out of my pen. This is what I got:

It is now February 10, 2010.

This has not been the usual year. As Claire looks back over the last 12 months, there have been twists and turns not anticipated the year before.

Claire was able to navigate these eddies because she was open, willing to make change, and could – if not foresee what was ahead – at least leap out of the path of self-harm or destruction.

This doesn’t mean 2009 was a hard year. It means it was a year of flexibility, of positive choice.

She was able to keep a cool head and a warm heart. Her children still mean the world to her. Her relationship with her husband is still her ground.

Claire found solace in singing. This year, she gets out her guitar and plays it and sings. Who cares if she doesn’t sound like a vocal professional? The important thing is that she sings for herself, her own sense of beauty.

Biking? Sure. Plenty of miles this year.

But this was not the usual year. No other year should be judged against it.

Singing
Cycling
Lots of hugs

These three will make the difference.

Open
Willing to move out of the path of destruction
Trusting – TRUST

These are the keys to successful navigation.

This writing, along with the need to affirm change that comes from a place of wholeness, is sort of weirding me out. Clearly, there’s a higher part of me that can foresee…something. And there’s the regular part of me that just plods through each day, hoping. Hm. 4 years ago

This looks like a darn good idea so I’d like to do this ASAP! 4 years ago

remember to look at this when the time comes to see how much has happened the way I hope it will. 4 years ago

It’s private only to me, but I will open it and see how much of it has happened, this time next year. 4 years ago

It is now January 8, 2009, and we can look back over Petersky’s life this year and see how it has changed.

Many of what has happened over the year is growth in gardens already watered, tilled, mulched and fertilized over the last few years. Over the last few years she has put energy into cultivating friendships, and these continue to grow and deepen for her. She now has several people she feels she can spontaneously call “just to talk”, without a specific thing to talk about, and she feels valued by her friends, as much as she values them. Her marriage continues to be a ground for all the rest of her life, a relationship of loving support and fun. Her daughters are developing into strong, confident young women who will be able to realize their dreams because they have been given a solid foundation of thoughtful and validating guidance from which to base their growth. It’s this web of human relationship that provides Petersky with the day-to-day satisfaction and comfort that all humans need to feel happy and to have a place in the world.

Meanwhile, where there has been dynamic, highly visible change in Petersky’s life, is in the area of her job. No longer moldering, bored and underutilized, 2008 was the year that she found a new place to make her talents in communications – writing and public speaking – be appreciated as never before. Her analytical skills are put to use daily. Her ability to see patterns and connections and to find creative ways to solve problems bring new understanding and ways of thinking and acting to those around her. Her brain is in gear. She learns something new every day. She comes home energized rather than exhausted, and gets up each morning eager to get at the work that lies before her for that day. Her co-workers appreciate her quirky sense of humor and irreverent style. She is working towards values she believes in. Her vast knowledge of how nonprofits work is brought to bear. Her work marshals financial resources towards societal benefit and the world is a better place for her work in it. Further, what she brings to the work place is represented in a livable salary and benefit package, commensurate with her work’s value to herself, to the organization and to society.

Happily every day she swings a leg over her bike and pedals to work. The bike ride to work is no longer the high point of the day though – it’s just the prelude to greater fulfillment on all levels in her career.

And sure, she continues to ride her bike, safely and cheerfully, sometimes on the single, sometimes on the tandem. She completed an excellent tour in the sunshine with her husband this summer, as well as some other organized rides. She is looking forward to doing more touring with her husband on the tandem as the years go on.

There was less travel this year in Petersky’s life than there was in 2007, but that’s OK. She’s eagerly planning another international trip with her family for 2009.

And we shouldn’t forget – this has also been the year that Petersky also found a wonderful group of people to sing with. They were committed to each other and kind, supportive of each other’s growth as vocalists, and as spiritual beings. Music has once more returned to her life as a source of joy.

Finally, this is the year that Claire is represented at all levels of government by members of the Democratic, and largely by women. Claire can feel the satisfaction that volunteering to see these people elected meant success. Governor Gregoire easily wins re-election over Dino Rossi. Dave Reichert is voted out of office and Darcy Burner takes his place. And most excitingly, a Democrat has been elected president, and everyone is so very excited to see the historic swearing in ceremony in just a few days. Claire managed to get invited to an inaugural ball, and she is looking forward to wearing her new evening gown, while her husband looks very natty in his tux, as they, and all present, celebrate a new beginning for our nation. 5 years ago

The essay is dated to be written one year from today, and it is supposed to look back over the previous year to the present, and writing about the progress one has achieved over the previous year.

I was looking through my journals, and I read the essay I wrote in February 2005, written from the supposed viewpoint of February 2006.

I remember crying through writing the essay at that time because so much of it cut right to the bone and felt so hopeless at the time I wrote it. And yet, when I read it this last weekend, a month before February 2008, all that it said had come to pass. Not all of it came to pass by 2/06, but by this time? Yes.

Reading this old essay made me realize that I want to do this again. And rather than just having it in a journal, I could also put it up on 43things. Maybe, even, other people would like to write similar essays, and see what they look like a year or two later. 5 years ago