Be able to forgive the one I hate

I can hold a grudge forever… it seems to be that even in my next life I wont be able to forgive those that have hurt me or to forgive myself for all the time I have hurt my own soul

My soon to be ex-wife had two abortions. Both times I begged haer not to do it. Her reply was that we are not ready to have children yet we already had a girl. On the second one I gave up on marriage and love . I try to forgive her but all i feel is sadness, confusion and above all hate. This hate makes me be mean to her when she has done nothing but say “Can you ” do this or that for our daughter I never hear that last part just the beginning.How hell does someone have the audacity to ask a favor and they didn’t show any favor towards my unborn never to be born Child . Please help me Forgive the one I hate.