I’m so damn close to being done- a few months left of my last semester in undergrad, and I’m blowing it. I’m skipping classes, not doing the work to the best of my ability, not being the person I want to be. I have no excuse- I’m letting myself sabotage myself over and over and over.
So, uh, I typed “how do I fix my life” into Google. And here we are; I may only be doing this as a way for me to vent, to have some sort of catharsis, but it feels good, it feels like a step. 3 weeks ago
Wow, what a difference from my last entry. I was feeling so low and discouraged. Now I am wrapping up my last 8 CREDITS (!!!) and I’ve been formally approved to graduate. Honestly, it is so surreal. For so long I’ve just been chugging along on this impossible goal, and now everything has shifted and I feel like I’m just coasting through. I am so excited to move on to the next chapter of my life. 3 weeks ago
So far i’ve been in college for 2,5 years. If everything works out, i will be done in 2 years, but right now i don’t know what to do. It’s been a horrible autumn, and I’ve had to retake an exam for the first time in my life, which is really not that bad. But if i didn’t make it this time (doubtful)i can’t continue in the autumn. I’m so worried right now, and that course is known for being the worst. I feel like I can’t retake that course, because i never want to feel that bad ever again. I studied at least 12 hours/day for almost 3 months, I couldn’t sleep, Ive lost weight, had gastritis two times and apparently started biting the inside of my cheeks(some peope grind their teeth,I bite the inside of my cheeks) Guess I’ll know in three weeks, can’t really do anything except studing for my next exam next friday. 2 months ago
I’m now weighing looking for full-time work against going to graduate school, though. Regardless, looking forward to the next step (whatever that is).
Big mistake I made, though: Leaving school for a while. I shouldn’t have taken so much time off. 2 months ago
Praise Buddha. Finally. 2 months ago