be charming

Last week a friend pooh poohed my advice on a subject and actually got a little angry.

Yesterday he told me about his new great idea, which strangely mirrored the advice given last week.

I simply said “Great idea you have, good for you!” Being charming is graciously complimenting others in whatever form their ideas/actions can take, and not making it all about me. 2 years ago

made a good observation on why I prefer to go for walks during breaks: I’m pagan. And as a pagan, nature is where I get my energy. Obviously, I can’t expect people who are not pagan to understand this. So I just have to politely excuse myself and go talk to the sky, flowers, breeze, trees, etc.

It’s my religion. 2 years ago

in school, dealing with the other students, I am a bit of a lone wolf. Two reasons:

1. I don’t know who is going to make it, so I don’t want to get too close to anyone at this point.

2. I like to take my breaks by taking a brisk walk, communing with nature, and not thinking about school at all. A positive brain dump. And moving around gets my body stretched out and is exercise. The other students prefer to sit and study or talk (and some, complain). This is the worse time for me to study cause I need to ‘bookend’ my learning by doing something completely different.

So I suspect that this will be like other areas of my life, work, AA, etc. where I don’t go to make friends, but to achieve objectives. One objective, of course, is to learn as much as I can and to do well.

One of the others is to be charming, which is to be nice, and pleasant, with a smile on my face while avoiding cliques and speaking and behaving in a positive, pro-active, way. 2 years ago

It’s working, I am being more charming…

...in my own way ;P 2 years ago

I found this blog post. It is actually a really good guide, one of the best I have found.
Basically states that about 6 techniques to become charismatic. 2 years ago

And it ties into the ‘don’t give advice’ category.

However (you knew that was coming, right) sometimes I gotta say something, so I do just try to put the charm spin on it, and keep it brief. 2 years ago

i dont know how to be charming without being annoying, and if it just to be myself. what if myself is annoying? 2 years ago

I just want to be less fractious. I have come a long way in this sort of thing thanks to 43 things, and I think it is an offshoot of be gracious, don’t give advice, etc.

It also helps that I am gossiping less, in my mind gossip and charming do not go together. Also I think a lot of it is just accepting the world as it is, instead of breaking bad and going all Don Quixote and challenging windmills. So in the spirit of this, I am writing an inventory of my thoughts and behaviors that could be blocking me.

Oh, darn. I just wanted to blame everything else, but as always, (sigh and pitiful little whimper), I know it comes down to me. 2 years ago

Sometimes I’m really shy. I want to be a charmer. The girl people WANT to talk to. Not the girl who seems so pensive people are afraid to approach her. Sometimes I get so caught up in how I’m being perceived, and people watching, that I’m not going out and meeting people. It’s really unproductive. But I’m working on it. Also, I want to be able to speak about an array of topics. Politics, music, the economy, etc…. I need to educate myself more. Any useful, and quick tips anyone?

Thanks! 2 years ago

I have a great sense of humor. I’m pretty intelligent and well informed. I’m outgoing. But I’m very impatient with people, topics and things that don’t interest me. That is when it is MOST important to be charming. That is when I’m least likely to be charming… 3 years ago

“We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilised before we are fit to participate in society.” 4 years ago

I can be persuasive I don’t know if she will call me. I know I wont call her, so I will have to wait to see how charming I was. My money is on she will call, at least I hope so.

I would hate all that charm to be wasted on a one night stand. 4 years ago

I’m the type of person who you can easily catch with their hair standing up an a few inches from their actual head and food from whoknowswhen stuck in their teeth. It’s not that I don’t take care of myself, it’s just I don’t know how to do it, exactly. My mom never taught me this stuff and I feel a little embarrased asking her so late.

“Mom, am I shampooing right?” 4 years ago

dont be cocky 4 years ago

It’s all about self-confidence. Theres no tricks here folks. I’ve broken it down in my head that if your comfortable in every aspect of who you are, you can do anything, say anything, or get anything you want. There might be 10 hott girls in the room with one gorgeous guy, but even if your only pretty and cute, if you add a heaping-helping of self-confidence, I garrentee that he will notice you out of the 10 girls. It’s about knowing that you can be the better one out of all the people your around. And if you act like you know it, you’ll get noticed. 5 years ago

Let me just say, it’s great to want to become more charming, but it sounds so much easier than it really is. You might think that by watching every James Bond film 4 times, you will get more charming, or by learning Sean Connery’s accent, but it’s so much more complicated.
To be charming, in my opinion, is the ability to make everybode feel better when people are around you, and to be able to make others smile. But this doesn’t meam you should act like a clown whenever you’re around someone. It’s also about being classy, in every aspect: clothing, manners, hair, etc. It’s the subtlety in these things that make the difference: Being mysterious, extravert, funny and calm at the same time.
I’m interested in how you feel about this, if you feel the same way or not, and how you’re succeeding in doing this. Good luck. 5 years ago

I think a good rule of thumb, for girls (maybe some guys?) is to CROSS YOUR LEGS!! It’s summer and all these tweens and teenagers and college students are in their short skirts, mini-skirts and whatnot with no clue as to what they are displaying when they sit. I mean, if you are at a resturante and you sit down and can’t see between your legs, it doesn’t mean the people one seat down from you don’t have a clear view of your. . .parts.

I am sure there are many guys (maybe some girls?) who adore the fact that they can see a girls underwear, or lack-there-of, whenever they sit down, but, it’s just gross.

ALSO, when going up stairs and esclators AND wearing a skirt, please find some way to obstruct the view for those under you. Placing your feet, one on one stair, one above that, means I can see EVERYTHING. That’s the whole place where the good Lord split ya. Geesh!

And for those who think it’s sexy. . .your underwear don’t match your shoes, skirt or top, some are see-though, some are stained with fluids only women have. .. and not everyone gets a bikini wax and for the extended peiord of viewing time people have, you ain’t that pretty.

Now, I would walk over to every chick I see and say “dear, everyone can see your kooch, mind crossing your legs?” But. .I don’t think that would be charming. ..

Well, all the upskirters must be having a feild day. They don’t even need high-tech equipment to get a good view. Just sit down at a diner and watch the girls come in. 5 years ago