be charming

Last week a friend pooh poohed my advice on a subject and actually got a little angry.

Yesterday he told me about his new great idea, which strangely mirrored the advice given last week.

I simply said “Great idea you have, good for you!” Being charming is graciously complimenting others in whatever form their ideas/actions can take, and not making it all about me.

made a good observation on why I prefer to go for walks during breaks: I’m pagan. And as a pagan, nature is where I get my energy. Obviously, I can’t expect people who are not pagan to understand this. So I just have to politely excuse myself and go talk to the sky, flowers, breeze, trees, etc.

It’s my religion.

in school, dealing with the other students, I am a bit of a lone wolf. Two reasons:

1. I don’t know who is going to make it, so I don’t want to get too close to anyone at this point.

2. I like to take my breaks by taking a brisk walk, communing with nature, and not thinking about school at all. A positive brain dump. And moving around gets my body stretched out and is exercise. The other students prefer to sit and study or talk (and some, complain). This is the worse time for me to study cause I need to ‘bookend’ my learning by doing something completely different.

So I suspect that this will be like other areas of my life, work, AA, etc. where I don’t go to make friends, but to achieve objectives. One objective, of course, is to learn as much as I can and to do well.

One of the others is to be charming, which is to be nice, and pleasant, with a smile on my face while avoiding cliques and speaking and behaving in a positive, pro-active, way.

It’s working, I am being more charming…

...in my own way ;P

I found this blog post. It is actually a really good guide, one of the best I have found.
Basically states that about 6 techniques to become charismatic.

And it ties into the ‘don’t give advice’ category.

However (you knew that was coming, right) sometimes I gotta say something, so I do just try to put the charm spin on it, and keep it brief.

i dont know how to be charming without being annoying, and if it just to be myself. what if myself is annoying?

I just want to be less fractious. I have come a long way in this sort of thing thanks to 43 things, and I think it is an offshoot of be gracious, don’t give advice, etc.

It also helps that I am gossiping less, in my mind gossip and charming do not go together. Also I think a lot of it is just accepting the world as it is, instead of breaking bad and going all Don Quixote and challenging windmills. So in the spirit of this, I am writing an inventory of my thoughts and behaviors that could be blocking me.

Oh, darn. I just wanted to blame everything else, but as always, (sigh and pitiful little whimper), I know it comes down to me.

Sometimes I’m really shy. I want to be a charmer. The girl people WANT to talk to. Not the girl who seems so pensive people are afraid to approach her. Sometimes I get so caught up in how I’m being perceived, and people watching, that I’m not going out and meeting people. It’s really unproductive. But I’m working on it. Also, I want to be able to speak about an array of topics. Politics, music, the economy, etc…. I need to educate myself more. Any useful, and quick tips anyone?

Thanks!

I have a great sense of humor. I’m pretty intelligent and well informed. I’m outgoing. But I’m very impatient with people, topics and things that don’t interest me. That is when it is MOST important to be charming. That is when I’m least likely to be charming…