stay single

Even though I new here I have been single my entire life. I have never dated, never had a serious relationship…(only two months does that count?)

I am 31 years old, in the military, a graphic artist, and office tech, and a person where my familiy come to for help. I have seen too much of the ugly side of Love to be even involed and there was a time i did try and most of the girls were freaked out due to my situation. (They thought I was some freak loner.)
Ah well why persure this? I’d perfer to continue to better myself rather then relay on someone to help me in my path in my life.

Love is capable of anything even being nonexistant in your life. but does that mean that you should kill yourself because that special person is not there for you?

“A realationship does not determine your worth.”
“In life Love is a privilage not a right.”

I amuse myself, but it’s really so that I can’t keep up relationships more than a month or so. :D Leave me alone in a place where there’s enough guys to pick someone you like and I’m flirting like there’s no tomorrow (meaning that I only think about the moment ‘now’), I’m just not cut out for relationships. Or maybe I just get bored so quickly. Even more of a reason to stay single and date random guys when I feel like it (well, as long as I can, I know thinking like this I’ll end up alone in the end but that might be for the best for everybody).

Ok so I know I was the one saying I wanted to stay single but there is a friend whom I am starting to like, again. I started to get to know him all this year at school. I did have him in a class last year, but we never talked. Now that I got to know him really well, I am realizing my feelings for him are stronger.

He is a really great guy friend (Let’s call him Car); he’s been there when I had boy troubles and I have been there when he’s been hurt by girls as well..

& I know he likes me. But I am keeping my secret desire for him to myself.

Then, there was another guy, he kissed me and I kissed him back. I just don’t feel the same spark for him as I used to when I was a freshman, now I am going on my junior year and yes, I’m over him. He had really hurt me freshman year. I guess what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

Now, it’s all about my guy friend,Car, I know I am young, but it’s just the fact that I am comfortable around him. He would make a good boyfriend. I have seen him and his girlfriend (when they were together), he is really affectionate. But whyyyyy should I have feelings for him? He has another girl but he’s not taking her seriously. Yet, why am I longing for him if he’s like that. & I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship, our wonderful friendship. I am simply SCARED, and I don’t think I am ready. I need to brave, someday. Just not now.

oh i just found a good boy..

my biggest problem at the moment is that i am still in the relationship that is draining all my enegies. every time we breakup,i feel a sense of relief and then moments later i freak out. its the fear of being alone and not knowing what tomorrow will be like.
the relationship took away my confidence and i know that the only way i can get it back is to break-up, this is something i need strength for.
am i crazy?

I’m starting to have a crush on someone again. I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this, I’m hesitant to even mention it out loud. It’s way too soon to draw any conclusions or even speculate anything, but I feel like I’ll jinx the whole thing if I even think about it too much. Things are happening so fast and this reminds me too much of my last ‘relationship’, it pretty much started the same way and even though I know I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now, I fear I’ll fuck this up the same way I did the last time. It’s difficult to try to remind myself it wasn’t only my fault. That isn’t even a current issue at the moment. I’m starting to have a crush on someone again – that is.

When it comes to attention, I’m a bottomless pit. I want others to be interested in me, be the centre of attention, I crave to be noticed. I know I do all this because deep down I’m insecure and search acceptance and strength from the attention others give me. I demand so much yet I’m not ready to give out as much. I know this is partly why a very promising relationship ended last year (no, I don’t blame solely myself, but because of the way I am, it didn’t work out). I don’t necessarily want to be alone, I sometimes feel very lonely, but being with me would be very harmful. I’m destructive for both myself and others because of my constant need to be reassured and noticed, I need so much space but I’m not sure if I’m ready to give as much space for others. It saddens me.

I really don’t need a relationship right now to make me even more messed up. I also feel that I’m too difficult a person to be with at the moment, so it’s better for me and others not to be too involved. Before I can really figure myself out, I don’t want to get too close to anyone (or let anyone get too close to me, naturally).

single all year long. I mean, to be realistic relationships take time, effort, and lots of patience after you’ve been in one for a while… I’m only 24 and I’m focusing on my future, I really can’t afford to add someone else to my “43 things” to do list =) lol ok sounds bad but hey eventually I want to settle down… just not nowww. I’m having too much fun and though it doesss get a little lonely, my friends fix that up right away. I’m too busy loving life right now!!!

p.s. I’m so glad I’m over my ex =) Fool me once, shame on you… Fool me twice, shame on me. ;)

I am still very single. 2 years. Had some dates, but it’s been okay. I actually am happy being on my own. I really miss having someone there to share the little things with, but I’ve changed so much over the last few years, I think it’s done me good. Only real down side is that every time I watch McNulty on the TV show “The Wire” I feel like I need a cold shower. That man is so hot.