love my mother more

My parents separated from each other when i was about 12. I lived by then with my mother. She had to cope with the horrid kid who told her it was her fault that daddy was gone. She had to suffer the atrocious and angry teenager i used to be. We fought a lot by that time.

Then i grew up a bit, and we lived together with some fights from time to time and she had to deal with my boyfriend (my ex now^^) who was an asshole.

Then I moved.

That BF used to tell me when i was angry/gaining weight/in a bad mood: “Be careful, you’re starting to be like your mother.” It was a really mean thing to say but back then I thought he was right, i was fearful of becoming like her, i could only see then her shortcomings and i was still full of teenage resentment.

Then I broke up with the asshole (see other entries for the detailed stuff). And little by little I felt more peaceful toward my mother.

Fist we solved the money issue: she kept on asking me to give her money (she’s through really hard time but i really can’t say my life is that much easier than hers.) I told her I was her daughter and I was no millionnaire so I didn’t want her to ask me money anymore. After a few fights she finally understood. Was tough times though.

Then recently, and I’m sure it is linked to the fact that i’ve introduced her to the love-of-my-life, i figured out that truely my mother and I were quite alike for a lot of things. Good things and bad things. We have strong personnalities, we say loads of blunders, we’re excessive and a bit weird. And I love her. And I finally understood that being like her is no curse, it’s just the way things ought to be.

I’m happy. I love her.