I meditate CONSTANTLY, it is has been close to the top of my list of priorities, right up there among “don’t stink up my grades”, “eat” and “sleep”. However, I want to get more sophisticated. I can calm down in an instant, can sustain attention, stay in the moment for longer than ever before, etc. And I know that with continued practice, I will get better at those things, and will find/carve out deeper peace as I go.
Now, there are two things that I’m working at:
I want to get better at doing mindful body scans, and gain a more intimate, meditative knowledge of how my my body works.
And I want to get better at meditative prayer. 5 years ago
my first encounter with any kind of meditation was a book I read in the 9th grade called “Dancing with Your Books”. It was given to me by a Jesuit who had noticed that I was so daydreamy in class. The gist is that studying becomes easier if you take a zen approach, only doing what you are doing when you are doing something (er… you know what I mean), with the end of being a more productive student.
That is the meditation that I am trying to practice right now, for the sake of productivity at work and in school. I have much better focus now than I did at 14, but it could use a bit of improvement… especially lately.
I’ve been very busy and I have A LOT going on, which makes my focus very slippery sometimes… instead of doing the umpteen hours of Chem homework I have, I end up doodling in the margins of my notebook pieces of things to art up later. And instead of doing the mountain of filing that gathered while I was on vacation, I research what it would take to “go back to the land” (verdict so far: a lot of everything).
So, starting right now, I’m going to use the stripped down, simplified zen approach to getting shit done: only that thing at that time the whole time I’m doing it – at least when at work or school, where, at the moment, I cannot afford to do anything else.
We’ll see… 5 years ago
...I want it to be my way of life, my way to connect to the universe (or at least one of them…)
I used to be a stresschild, bursting with anxiety over everything. Consciously and painstakingly, I broke myself of that. One way was through very deliberate optimism, and the other was through meditation.
Soon, instead of automatically catastrophizing and then having an anxiety buzz of some duration, I would turn my mind to the best possible outcome and (often before that step) meditate. It was a simple meditation then, very zen, very grounding-within-the-moment (since most of my anxiety was centered around things that were possibilities or future concerns rather than concerns of that particular moment).
Soon, I started meditating in the place of anxiety, and in the place of worry. I started mediating to relax and fall asleep as well. I started to practice mindfulness meditation in addition to my own bastardized zen.
For the last year, meditation has been a utility to me. Now, I want it to be a spiritual path. I past the place where I meditate to survive. Now I want to meditate to connect and to more fully realize my spiritual world, as well as explore it for utility.
:D I can’t wait. 5 years ago