forgive my ex

I want to forgive him, not because he deserves it, but for me and my sanity.

That’s all it’s about, really.

Today I went to see the movie The Duchess with Keira Knightley.It’s a fantastic film and everyone should go see it but it made me sad because most of what her life with her husband was like was what my relationship with my ex was. I ended up crying at work when everyone had left. I don’t know if I miss him or hate him more.

You know how sometimes you work on an issue for ages then all of a sudden you’re doing something one day, and your mind turns over to that person and you suddenly realised something’s shifted? Like you don’t have to make an effort to feel neutral towards them, you just…do. That’s what happened to me yesterday :D I’ve got a feeling there’s still a bit more emotion to shift, but it’s getting easier!

I was in a short relationship, but the emotional ride it took me on was so intense for something that lasted almost 3 months. It was my gut instinct not to get into a relationship with her, but I don’t know…I kept thinking that nothing is ever perfect initially, and sometimes you need to wait some time for things to grow. But unfortunately, she jumped out of one relationship and straight into one with me, without dealing with the issues surrounding that (and much more besides.) For a long time I put up with shabby treatment, she was always preoccupied and needed cheering up, and even when she was feeling OK I can’t remember a single date or evening where it was lovely from start to finish. There was always some drama that occurred half way through the evening that spoiled it. When her issues caught up with her and she had no other choice but to deal with them, she felt apart. I tried to help but got accused of “telling her what to do and how to be” and she severed contact with me for 2 weeks. When I finally demanded an explanation she said that her feelings for me had “changed over time” and it had taken her a while to realise that her “true love” (someone else) has been in front of her for the past year and that she’s now in a relationship with him.

I got angry. I got mad. I got upset. I’m coming to terms with it now, but the thing is, I feel like I can’t fully forgive her because she’s changed as a person- she’s smoking weed all the time and she’s pretty out of it. I know this situation needs time, but I’d really love to be friends with her at some point, but then again, I want to be friends with the person she was, not some selfish person that lives in a drug-fuelled “happy bubble”.

I don’t know how. He’s not a bad person. Just doesn’t know what he wants after 7 years together.

after 7 months of being together he said he just doesn’t have the same feelings for me. this was exactly a week ago. it came out of nowhere and broke my heart in a million little pieces. the next day he called and wanted to be friends. i told him it was a lot to take in after only one day. i said i would rather be civil and then work our way into friendship (if it works). yesterday was my birthday and he told me happy birthday and at the end of the day asked how it went. today he called and asked for help on homework. we joked about things but it wasn’t too awkward. my heart is still broken but i want to see if we can make this friend thing work. its nearly impossible but i’ve seen it happen….and in the process,i want to forgive him for crushing me and maybe, just maybe,i can still keep one of my best friends

Was very abusive physically and mentally. I have forgiven him. Many years ago. I was a happier person for it. Now the man Im with my ex fears,lol.

I considered getting over my last terrible, self-centred, arrogant idiot of an ex.

When the relationship ended he said I was “envious of his looks and money.” HA!

So, I wrote a book about what a prick he was www.narcissism.ca

Who’s got the last laugh now?

Check it out.

accepting what he has done, who he is, and who he isn’t is as close to forgiveness as I can get

I cannot forgive him right now.
I want to, but… every time I think about it I get so pissed off that I just want to scream and cry. I am STILL trying to be a regular ordinary person and have a good life and I am STILL trying to figure out how to have a healthy relationship. I know it’s a constantly changing living thing, but… I can’t even see where to begin!

No, no forgiveness today.