Be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference...

I guess this is really something I have to do now… In this hard time I’m going through… Though, I wonder sometimes, how can one know when one can or can not change something… how can you be sure you have that wisdom to know the difference. Acceptance, courage… Right know, it’s all spinning around. I guess all things one does changes things somehow, but when to know if for the better or not. I really don’t know. And the sometimes difficult balance/difference between acceptance and.. giving in and… Well… I don’t know…

Looking back, i realize that my life was a series of ups and downs and the thing that i really wanted whom i thought was already mine was taken away from me. I thought that when i had a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago was the greatest thing that happened to me because i was really in love then. Since the break-up a few months back, i was devastated, hurt, and never felt so low in my life. Now im in the process of putting back the pieces and trying hard to move on. With the help of prayers and friends, i can say that i’m a bit okey now compared a few weeks ago. My prayer now is i can improve my life specifically my health, focus more on exercise, eating well and financial stability. I need to remind myself that life is not always the way we want it to be and just take it a day at a time and being happy does not depend on other person but inside myself. I pray that i learn to forgive him and we will be able to find time to talk things out and soon i will find the person worthy of my love.

Of all the quotes in all the world, I happened across this one this morning… at a time in my life when I really needed to be reminded to stay focused on the things that I cannot change…for my own emotional sanity.

This was my brother’s favorite quote. Thank you my angel… for the gentle reminder that I can’t fix all problems in life, that some issues belong to others to deal with… and that you are still there watching over me. I love you Tim.

the very first time i heard this was when i read slaughterhouse five by j d salinger. we had to write a critical analysis essay on a topic in the book and my friend Alison had this prayer. i think its perfect in many ways to lead a good life

I’ve been extremely busy lately that i never took time to pause, breathe and enjoy life. i’m stuck in a routine that has made me so unhappy right now. i don’t perform well at work anymore, and i’ve wasted soooo much time fantasizing about luxurious travels which i know is not possible in the near future.

just yesterday, my boss reprimanded me at work. that sucks! and it really got me thinking..i need to make changes to get back on track.

so i’ll be taking baby steps of a beautiful change… just revamped my goals on 43T!

I am bipolar, and schizophrenic… My bipolar episodes are triggered by weather, stress, and anything that swings me one way or another. My schizo episodes are triggered by stress and bipolar manic episodes.

My mother, who never sees anything good in me, is my biggest trigger. Today, I’ve learned that I need to accept that that is just who she is, due to her own mental problems, and accept that I cannot change that. I will never be able to make her happy. And I cannot change that.

Accepting this will be really really hard. But I can do it.

I freak out way too much over things that i know full well that i cannot control or change and it needs to stop.

However i am getting abit better at it lately… im not sure why

Silly example but its a step in the right direction… i like to save some of me txts that i like or make me smile or have some sorta meaning. every night before i go to bed i delete all my sent box messages. But the other night completely accidently i went to my inbox instead of my sent box and pressed erase all… erasing my entire inbox. Once id realised what i had done i was totally gutted coz there was some really sentimental texts i had on there. But then i stopped n took a few deep breaths and just said to myself “stop freaking out… there is absolutely nothing you can do about it now – they are gone and u have only had the fone for just under a year” unlike the last fone i had i had had the sim card since i was 16 and had loooooads of txts which were about 3/4 years old and THAT would have been really really sad to have lost them all. So it could have been worse… and once i had told myself that i stopped freaking out :)... so it worked

i think ive developed an i dont care attitude which is not necessarily good but it has helped with my stress…im really learning that i cant change everything ecspecially people so prayer is my best bet

i pray for wisdom daily which i believe is the key to this goal…wisdom to see things that i couldnt before and to handle it accordingly. i want to be at peace in my life and not have the stress that i do but im learning that majority of the stress in life is self-inflicted so im really trying not to stress over things that i cannot change anyway and if i can change it just do it instead of stressing over it

This really helped. I kept getting frustrated at work. I’ve really just about had it with my boss…and this prayer was in the back of my head and it made me realize that there really is a lot I can’t change and thus a lot I shouldn’t be worried about. The moments I thought of it I was exceptionally calmer. I really will try to keep this on my mind all the time. =)