Okay, out of the fetal position and into something resembling a human being. Work, work, work damn it.

Maybe I’ll try some horse therapy first since it’s not too bloody cold yet. I think I’ll go ride first. The beauty of nature from the back of a horse always helps.

Sorry to be such a downer. 4 years ago

Breathe and survive. That should be easy enough, shouldn’t it? Get up, survive, go to bed. 4 years ago

She [Madame Reya’s 93-year-old Great-Aunt] said something simple yet very wise – “I just take life day by day…you can try living two days at once, but…it gets confusing!”

Reading what other people write helps. I’m going to keep thinking about this today. I’m only going to try and conquer today, or just survive today. I’ll let tomorrow take care of itself.

Please, please thank your great Great-Aunt for her words of wisdom. 4 years ago

I don’t want to do. The black dog is out and roaming mightily. Also, we descend into the hell of winter soon. I hate depression. I’m trying so hard to change my attitude, but I’m failing miserably. 4 years ago

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, ..... 4 years ago

“We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.”
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Goethe’s quote was the one on the page while I was typing this entry. Perhaps that’s what I’ll do tomorrow is buy some Goethe to read. How could anyone be depressed while reading something as beautiful as Goethe’s writing? It’s worth a try. 4 years ago

From Ralph Waldo Emerson – “Self-Reliance” – 1841

“But man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but
with reverted eye laments the past, or, heedless of the riches that
surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be
happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above
time.”

I’m not sure why I don’t ever follow my own advice. Why is living in the present so damn hard? 4 years ago

Dear Lord, please, please help me find the strength to find a different profession. 4 years ago

having anxiety attacks. But the last time I went to the doctor, he told me I have high blood pressure. Can high blood pressure make one feel this way? I’ve never had it before, so I don’t know for sure.

We have a treadmill that was given to us, a real nice one that is actually for a gym. I decided that I’d start using it in small increments. I hate that feeling of a hand or fist squeezing my heart and not being able to breathe. If any one has had any experience with these symptoms, I’d like to hear about them.

I’m trying to eat right, but I’m sure I need to exercise more.

Please comment and let me know. 4 years ago

I’m seriously thinking about giving up 43 things and deleting all my entries. 4 years ago

shots of Red Bull or shots of something else. Does anyone else suffer from bouts of extreme fatigue where just staying awake during the day is a battle?

I think I’ll go take a walk. Perhaps some exercise might help. It’s hard to exercise when one is dragging so badly. 4 years ago

I think I will. I have no energy for anything. Everything seems rather hopeless right now. Maybe I’m just tired. 4 years ago

I’m going to walk and meditate and breathe deeply. All will be well. 4 years ago

hill. I’ve started trying to walk two miles a day and every day I’ve been jogging up a large hill on our land. I can only make it half-way up the hill, but I’m GOING TO KEEP AT IT. Jogging up the hill makes me feel better. I’m trying to make my legs and heart stronger. 4 years ago

I have time to take a walk with the dog and do some laundry. I was aiming for two, and I got three things done, but I had to drive to get these things done, yuck. And no, there is no public transportation available. That’s one thing about living in the country; you have to have a car to get anywhere. I always group my errands to avoid using as much gas as possible. 4 years ago

things that I must get done today. Even if I get nothing else done, I’ll have accomplished those two things. Best to all. 4 years ago

Why am I having such trouble getting up and doing what I know I need to do? 4 years ago

”...the innocent sleep, /Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care, /The death of each day’s life, sore labor’s bath, Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,/ Chief nourisher in life’s feast.”

I couldn’t resist posting my favorite entry about sleep from Shakespeare. God, he says it beautifully. The “raveled sleave of care….” I picture a frayed coat sleeve with threads hanging off of it. And “the death of each day’s life….” Ahh, only if it was so easy to think of each new day has a truly NEW day without dragging all the baggage of the past into it with us.

I am going to go partake of nature’s balm and nourish for as many hours as I want. Lovely. 5 years ago

I wish the room I work in had windows. I miss the sun. Oh well, I’ll just have to see the sun after work. 5 years ago

Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. 5 years ago

really depressed and discouraged. The state of the economy is really getting me down. It’s just so hard to make a living right now. Is anyone else noticing this? What’s the answer? I also need to find a different job. The job I have now just isn’t working out. I feel defeated and abysmal. I pray tomorrow will be a better day. 5 years ago

Work on Cognitive Distortion thinking

All-or-Nothing Thinking: John recently applied for a promotion in his firm. The job went to another employee with more experience. John wanted this job badly and now feels that he will never be promoted. He feels that he is a total failure in his career.

Overgeneralization: Linda is lonely and often spends most of her time at home. Her friends sometimes ask her to come out for dinner and meet new people. Linda feels that that is it useless to try to meet people. No one really could like her. People are all mean and superficial anyway.

Mental Filter: Mary is having a bad day. As she drives home, a kind gentleman waves her to go ahead of him as she merges into traffic. Later in her trip, another driver cuts her off. She grumbles to herself that there are nothing but rude and insensitive people in her city.

Disqualifying the Positive: Rhonda just had her portrait made. Her friend tells her how beautiful she looks. Rhonda brushes aside the compliment by saying that the photographer must have touched up the picture. She never looks that good in real life, she thinks.

Jumping to Conclusions: Chuck is waiting for his date at a restaurant. She’s now 20 minutes late. Chuck laments to himself that he must have done something wrong and now she has stood him up. Meanwhile, across town, his date is stuck in traffic.

Magnification and Minimization: Scott is playing football. He bungles a play that he’s been practicing for weeks. He later scores the winning touchdown. His teammates compliment him. He tells them he should have played better; the touchdown was just dumb luck.

Emotional Reasoning: Laura looks around her untidy house and feels overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning. She feels that it’s hopeless to even try to clean.

Should Statements: David is sitting in his doctor’s waiting room. His doctor is running late. David sits stewing, thinking, “With how much I’m paying him, he should be on time. He ought to have more consideration.” He ends up feeling bitter and resentful.

Labeling and Mislabeling: Donna just cheated on her diet. I’m a fat, lazy pig, she thinks.

Personalization: Jean’s son is doing poorly in school. She feels that she must be a bad mother. She feels that it’s all her fault that he isn’t studying. 5 years ago

cheers for something—anything would help. I’d like to know something is worth it. 5 years ago

SAD. It’s sooooooooo darn hard in the winter without sun. I desperately crave the sun.

Does anyone out there know a good brand/type to buy? 5 years ago